SoggyCornflakes Sports

Seriously, it’s more fun when the guys take a break and I can write about all the sports together…it’s fun.

Good Evening and welcome to your 8 o’ clock edition of SoggyCornflakes Sports.
In cricketing news, the useless Jamaican authorities will finally be having a press conference next Tuesday to inform the world about former Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer’s death. When 58-year-old Woolmer was found dead in his hotel room after Pakistan’s shocking defeat to Ireland in the group stages of the Cricket World Cup, foul play was suspected, especially after an autopsy was released that stated Woolmer had been strangled. After new conspiracy theories pouring in everyday, a report was released by Scotland Yard that stated that Woolmer had died of natural causes. So he just died because the Pakistani team sucked so bad.

In Football (or Soccer, depending on where you’re from) news, Arsenal goalkeeper Jens Lehmann was informed by new signing Lukas Fabianski that the youngster is more than willing and ready to take the number one spot ahead of Jens.

The young hottie says:

“I want to be first choice at Arsenal as much as they do. My message is clear — I’m ready to fight from day one. Of course I can wait a little bit for my chance. But I’m not going to Arsenal just to be there. I want to become a regular first-team player. Hopefully I’ll do it from the very beginning because I’m ready. Being at a club and playing are two different things — I want to play. I will focus on working hard every day and competing for the No1 jersey.”

And mad Jens was quick to retort that he is still at a physical peak and no-one can beat him at experience. Then he burst into tears…nah, I’m joking. I love them both and may the best man win.

In Spanish Soccer, David Beckham will probably be hoping to leave Real Madrid at the end of the season with a Spanish League title medal thingy. Real Madrid and Barcelona are level on the top of the league, but Real will have to win against Real Mallorca at home next weekend. Since I haven’t heard of Real Mallorca and I have heard of Real Madrid (who I kinda despise…almost as much as I Hate Barca) I’m assuming they’ll win, but whatever, who cares?

And in Grand Prix news, British Lewis Hamilton won the Canadian Grand Prix, insisting that he knew that he would win. The McLaren driver won after only 6 GPs, and even though he had some doubt in his mind especially compared to team-mate Fernando Alonso, he was a winner. Alonso might be having some issues though as he declared his poor result as bad luck and the fact his tires weren’t grained properly or some other poncy excuse or the other.

And finally, today’s weather. It’s flippin cold here and I don’t care about anywhere else. I want my blankie!

Hey everyone…Yeah, it’s me again. The guys are a bit busy, so I’m just filling in for today…and maybe tomorrow. So for the next 24-hours, I have you all at my mercy…Bwahahahaha-haha-ha…ha? Oh, nevermind!

Let’s talk about the World Cup, which is drawing to an end with the final taking place tomorrow with reigning world champs Australia and Sri Lanka, who might actually be the only team that can beat them. But as we look back over the past month and a half, you will probably remember watching less cricket and doing other productive things, like picking your noses…or binge eating…or kicking your dog. The thing is, the World Cup was a bore and very few matches kept us glued to our seats…praying feverishly that your team wins.

For that boredom, I blame the teams…but some people blame the atmosphere in the grounds, which were hardly ever filled to capacity. This would be because of the high ticket prices, including airfare, board and accommodation. Young people couldn’t afford these prices and older people don’t really get that much into the spirit of the game. My point is that the cricket was boring, the Caribbean sucks, SoggyCornflakes rules and Sri Lanka have to win tomorrow!

New Zealand captain Stephen Fleming feels his side has what it takes to win the World Cup. New Zealand beat Ireland yesterday, to come within a game of the World Cup semi-finals. The Kiwi’s currently lead the Super 8 standings, ahead of Australia on run rate.

Fleming said,

“We know we are capable of winning it, it’s just about how we play or how we let the opposition play, As we get down to the business end it’s going to come down to two games to win the World Cup. That’s an exciting prospect but also a scary one.”

I guess Stevey’s a bit like me. We both get excited by fear.

I remember the time I went and jumped in my neighbor’s back yard to get my ball. Yes, it was scary. And yes, my heart skipped a few beats.

But the Adrenaline rush! Mmmm!

Yesterday it was revealed that former Pakistan cricket coach, Bob Woolmer was strangled to death. The news comes as a shock to the cricketing fraternity after initial reports that he had died of a heart attack.

Lucius Thomas, the commissioner of police, had this to say,

“The pathologist report is now available and states that Mr Woolmer’s death was due to asphyxia as a result of manual strangulation. In these circumstances, the matter of Mr Robert Woolmer’s death is now being treated by the Jamaica Police as a case of murder.”

The ICC confirmed that despite the death, the World Cup will continue.

The strangler is a frickin’ genius isn’t he? Why give him poison and make it look like he committed suicide after one of the biggest upsets in World Cup history, when you can strangle him instead? Yeah, leave your mark. All over his neck. I hope the police enjoy looking at his grubby fingerprints.

What he obviously should have done, is taken a red hot poker and initialed his name on his behind. That would’ve been a master stroke of criminal-ness (sic).

Also I think it’s very disrespectful of the ICC to continue with the tournament. Obviously this has nothing to do with the $1000 I put on Pakistan… no. I’m not that shallow. It’s all about Bob… and my money… I mean… OK it’s about my money.

I HATE YOU LADBROKES!!!