SoggyCornflakes Sports

Sevilla have asked UEFA to switch the date of their UEFA Cup quarter final tie with Tottenham Hotspur due to “security reasons”. The date (5 April) coincides with a major religious festival in Seville which is expected to draw a crowd approaching a million people.

A Sevilla spokesman said…

“We have asked the Spanish Football Federation to request a new date from UEFA. It’s all down to security reasons. And we have informed Tottenham.”

Ha! The old security reasons excuse. Just admit it, man. You want to go out and get wasted. It’s pathetic when grown men have to make up such stupid excuses. Once I just went to my boss, and I was all like, “I’m going to go and get drunk… you can’t stop me”.

And he didn’t. Admittedly that was probably because he fired me. But it was all worth it… no wait… Actually, it probably wasn’t worth it… I woke up with a splitting headache, wearing a chocolate covered condom…

…

…in my dogs kennel…

COME BACK FLUFFY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Today’s UEFA Cup draw pits the 3rd best team in London against the best team in Seville. Spurs should provide a tough test for the holders (who were seconds away from elimination in the last round – they went on to win 3-2 in extra time). The rest of the draw is as follows…

Quarter-final draw
AZ Alkmaar v Werder Bremen
Bayer Leverkusen v Osasuna
Sevilla v Tottenham
Espanyol v Benfica
(Ties to be played on 5 and 12 April)

Semi-final draw
Espanyol or Benfica v AZ Alkmaar or Werder Bremen
Bayer Leverkusen or Osasuna v Sevilla or Tottenham
(Ties to be played 26 April and 3 May)

It should be interesting to see the English take on the Spaniards, especially with ex-Spurs “hero”, Freddie Kanoute, in the Sevilla ranks. For those who don’t remember when Kanoute was at Spurs I doubt he could’ve hit the Great Wall of China with a bazooka and a box full of Homing missiles while he was standing on it.

I’m sure he could now though… maybe… with a bit of luck… and someone aiming for him…

(Yes, I could’ve used the “cows arse with a banjo…” but I won’t… I like to be myself)