Petra Nemcova and Sean Penn were spotted together at Elton John’s Oscar after-party, leading celebrity experts (i.e people that have nothing better to do than read celeb news the whole day… fine… me) around the world to go, “What the F***?!” (I could’ve written WTF, but I wanted to keep it classy.).

This is Petra’s second high profile romance since her fiance passed away in Bali following a freak tidal wave. The first relationship was with James Blunt which compounded in him cheating on her with a string of less attractive females including Australian actress Tania Xaetta and Hollywood’s village bicycle Lindsay Lohan.

… All this does is prove that Petra Nemcova likes ugly rich guys. Which puts me in good standing. Except for the fact that I’m not rich. But I really am ugly. Apart from my pillowy lips and my puppy dog eyes. And my masculine stubble which I keep in an attempt to look like I’m a go getter who doesn’t have time to shave. Oh… And my nose… I like my nose. It’s straight and free from any nasal residue…

Oh Screw it! I can’t get Petra Nemcova. I guess I’ll just look at myself in the mirror and console myself.

There you go! Rawr!

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