SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan is set to start filming for her new film, Indie flick Florence, in which she’s (obviously) required to flash her boobs (I mean… If chicks didn’t flash their boobs in Indie Movies, who’d watch them?). However Lindsay, who’s being paid a meager $75000 for the part, was willing to bare it all for the camera’s. An offer the director respectfully declined… probably because him and the producer have seen it already. Zing! Did you see what I did there? I exposed Hollywood’s seedy underbelly while calling Lindsay Lohan a whore! I’m awesome!

Softpedia reports,

“She just wants to remind people that she can act and she’s worth hiring.” Also, the source reports that although the script only requires LiLo to show her boobs, she offered to go all the way down and strip completely. “She said it would be no problem to go Full Monty,” added the insider. Thankfully, the producers refused to go along with her very helpful offer.

You know… It’s somewhat sad yet strangely amusing to watch Lindsay Lohan’s slow yet inevitable descent to a Hooters waitress. It’s not like Britney, who was so rich, that no matter what she did (or how much she ate) she’d still be able to buy a new McDonald’s everyday.

This was a once promising actress that once received a 7.5 million Dollar paycheck… and proceeded to blow it all away on crack.

That makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

(Yes, I’m a terrible person. I take pride in watching other people fall down to my level. Don’t you have a self help book to read?)

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Director Eli Roth has vowed to start getting botox treatments after he was rejected by… wait for it… Lindsay Lohan (!!??!!), for being too old. Roth was dining in the Polo Lounge at the Beverley Hills Hotel when Lindsay Lohan and a friend walked past.

He completes the story on his blog,

“I was having drinks with a friend at the Beverly Hills Hotel the other night, and Lindsay Lohan walked by our booth with a girlfriend, checking us out. She then went out to the bathroom, turned around, came back and walked by us again, and mumbled to her friend ‘too old,’ and kept walking. Now - she’s absolutely correct - but it was still pretty f***ing hilarious. Especially since we were in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel - where the average age is 97. If you look too old in there you’re f***ed! Time to hit the Botox. Now I’m in bed with bronchitis from not getting enough sleep last week. Maybe Lindsay’s right!”

As you can all tell, this story is obviously a complete fabrication. I mean… Lindsay Lohan turning down sex? With a human? Who’s kinda rich? Impossible!

Eli Roth probably wants to get Botox treatment and is just using Lindsay’s name as a scapegoat. I hate it when people make up lies about the defenseless Lindsay Lohan. Especially such blatant ones. As a blogger who aims to be completely honest with his readers most of the time sometimes from time to time, I bet Lindsay Lohan wasn’t even there… She was probably in some 90 year old guys bath room… doing stuff. Gross stuff.

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When you thought that you couldn’t handle another celebrity sister pairing after the Spears and the Simpsons, along comes Ali Lohan tugging on her sisters coat tails. Ali Lohan is Lindsay’s 14 year old sister and is set to take part in a new reality show brokered for her by (who else?) White Oprah.

Ali tells Teen Vogue,

“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you…it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Whoever asked her for her autograph needs to be punched in the face. Really, really hard.

Still though, at least we know Ali has a great example to model herself to. She must have been a fan of Tony Robbins with all his “model (copy) someone else and you can achieve the same results they did in one tenth of the time”. So… Rehab at 15?

I love the Lohan’s. They keep me employed. And by employed I mean I blog… and make no money.

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