SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Reese Witherspoon didn’t seem like she was too upset by her divorce, but that’s just good acting. The actress recently spoke about her divorce to Ryan Phillippe after 7 years of marriage, and how sometimes she just couldn’t deal with it.

“Right around Christmastime I was sitting in a parking lot and I felt like I just couldn’t get out of the car.”

“It was like, I can’t get out of the car.”

“I thought, Okay, half of the parking lot has dealt with this. More than half of the parking lot has dealt with this.”

“Okay, let’s make it a little bigger. Half of this city has dealt with this. Okay, let’s make it a little bigger – half of this country, until I finally got out of the car.”

That’s right. There’s nothing like statistics to make yourself feel better.

She also commented about attention whores and how she doesn’t want that to be her image in Hollywood.

“It’s one thing if you’re up for it and you want it, and you go out without your panties on.”

“But if you’re wearing panties - gosh darn it, leave me alone!”

Hehe, cute.

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You know how some people are just devastated after a break-up? How they’re like a shadow of themselves because life has become so meaningless and they just don’t know how to move on? Well, nothing like that is happening to Ryan Phillippe.

The actor is moving on with his life after Reese Witherspoon, by getting together again with the woman he cheated with while married. Abbie Cornish was “the other woman”, but they stopped dating when the story of their affair became public. The two are now back together and are apparently happy. And why wouldn’t they be? Two whores hanging out…just the way God wanted it to be.

Though Ryan is having a great time, he isn’t pleased with his ex-wife’s relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. Since Ryan is a flaming heterosexual, he doesn’t like the idea that his kids spend time with the guy who played a homosexual on screen. But your kids hanging out with an adulterous whore is Ok?

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I had the choice to write between Halle Berry saying that she’ll never marry again and breaking the hearts of most straight guys out there and Charlotte Church saying that she won’t marry her boyfriend and father of her baby Gavin Henson that no one really cares about, but I thought I’d be different and write about a story I missed yesterday (by the way, apologies to everyone who reads this for not updating yesterday…I was kidnapped by aliens and they only brought me back today…did I tell you Venus looks like the back of my closet? Honestly)

Oh, back to my story, I will be writing about Ryan Phillippe and his maybe new hook-up Ashley Simpson. Ryan met Ashlee at LA nightclub Les Deux which means See Two, according to my Encarta dictionary…See Two? Is that a guarantee that they’ll get you so hammered that you’ll have double vision by the time you leave? Cool. Basically, it says that Ryan seemed to hit it off with Ashlee; they had a make-out session somewhere after which the two emerged dishevelled. It was then reported that they left separately, but Ryan went to her place where he spent the night.

Ryan’s representatives deny the allegations and say that Ryan barely knows Ashlee except for a brief introduction at the club. Who to believe, who to believe? I think I’ll trust the source, because sources are always accurate, or at least that’s what they tell us at varsity, and even if it’s the waitress’s boyfriend’s little brother’s dog who gave the report, you just know that he’s right. Here Doggy, doggy! Nice Doggy.

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