SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Well, I think that news broke a few days back but I was just too lazy to write about it, but now I’ll tell you that Prince William and Kate Middleton are back together. Yippee for them. Why should I get happy for anyone when my love life is as non-existent as it is? Yes, I’m a bitter person. I take pleasure from other people’s pain.

I dunno if there’s been any official confirmation, but alot of people believe that this time the couple will get engaged…as much as they’re willing to bet on it. Ay, but some people will bet on anything. Not me, with my luck, I’d bet that Paris Hilton has herpes and I’ll still lose. Yes, Paris has herpes, but that’s how bad my luck is!

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Jessica Alba did not have a good start in the world of romance, especially with kissing.

At the age of 12, she had her first kiss, but it wasn’t such fun as her partner had not brushed his teeth (EWWWWWWWW!). Her second kiss wasn’t much better, at age 14 she had to kiss a 33 year old guy (Ewwwwwww!). No explanation to why she had to kiss a pedophile but I feel for her.

For a while, she was completely put off by kisses, but now she’s 100% happy with it, stating that boyfriend Cash Warren is a great kisser. Well, good for her. Guess every girl has to kiss a few frogs before she finds her prince…and no, i was not making a pun on Prince William…why do you have to analyse everything I write?

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Well, we all want a prince for our perfect guy, but usually we don’t mean that literally. Jessica Alba seems to think the perfect guy for her and father to her children isn’t boyfriend Cash Warren, but Prince William.

“I always felt I had been born into the wrong family. I felt I should have been a royal.”

Wow, that is just so humble of you Jessica. Well, since the prince is free, take your best shot at him.

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Well, more Britney news and Britney now has a new conquest. She’s writing a letter to Prince Charles, to sympathize and support him after his break-up from long-time girlfriend Kate Middleton. There are just so many ways to make fun of her, my mind boggles!

A source tells British newspaper The Daily Express, “She understands what it’s like to have such a high-profile break-up. She has started writing him a note and is going to send it before the end of the week.”

Britney, I have to explain a few things to you. Your divorce was one of the funniest this century because it involved head-shaving, economizing and returning gifts to feed pathetic lifestyles, and don’t tell me you didn’t like the attention. William’s, on the other hand, was pretty low-key. As far as I see, there’s no trips to rehab or tattoo parlours yet…so you may want to rethink that note. Also, Will would probably laugh at your writing. Send him a pretty picture instead, it might make him smile.

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