SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Talk about a good bargain! Spend a few years married to an almost-legendary singer and walk away $110 million richer. That’s the story of Beatles singer Paul McCartney and his estranged (soon divorced) wife Heather Mills. After 5 days in court, a settlement was decided on that awarded Heather $40 million straight up and $5 million every year in child support until their 4-year-old daughter Beatrice turns 18.

So what, is this kid gonna have a solid gold teddy bear or something? It can’t be very cuddly though. And you ask, what does Paul get out of this? Well, Heather is banned from ever speaking out about their marriage and whatever happened throughout it. Now that just tells you he has something to hide. All it takes to get me to shut up is a Mars Bar and half a litre of Coke…the drink, not the drug.

And who says I’m a high-maintenance girl?

Which leaves me to wonder, who else will date a 50 year old former rock star?

Following his bitter divorce battle with Heather Mills, Sir Paul McCartney vows that from now, he will go around only with women who do not have to ask him for money, and have their own means of livelihood. Sir Paul is currently dating Nancy Shevell.

An unnamed friend tells the Daily Mirror,

“The fact Nancy is successful in her own right makes him feel much more relaxed around her. Paul says she is not with him for what’s in it for her. He will certainly now only date women who have their own means,”

Wow. I feel bad for Paul McCartney. Imagine being a multi billionaire, and having the money to buy just about anything… But you’re not allowed to sleep with women who only want you for your money.

I hope he enjoys all the wild sex with the elderly. Dumbass.

Basically, it boils down to the fact that he’s a lonely man old man.

Actress/singer MARIANNE FAITHFULL believes SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY married HEATHER MILLS because he was lonely following the death of his first wife Linda. The British star claims the reason behind the former Beatle’s quick marriage to model Mills was because he did not want to grow old alone. She says, “He’s going through such a terrible time. It’s hard to imagine how he got himself into his current mess. “He wasn’t used to sleeping alone. He missed Linda. Poor Paul.”

There are better ways of staving off loneliness out there, right? He could have bought some cats…or a monkey…those are always entertaining. Let’s just all sympathise for poor rich Paul McCartney, who will be alot less richer once he pays up the divorce settlement. Awww, poor Paul.

I just thought it was a juvenile revenge to get back at your Ex by writing about them in songs. But apparently, big stars do that too.

ContactMusic reports:

Music legend SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY uses the break-up of his marriage to HEATHER MILLS as inspiration for his new album, declaring he is finally happy. The Beatles singer makes references to his estranged wife throughout his album, Memory Almost Full, suggesting he is over the relationship which ended last year (06). In a track entitled Mr Bellamy, MCCartney writes, “No one to tell me what to do, no one to hold my hand. Nobody here to spoil the view, interfere with my plans. I like it up here without you.”

Writing about your failed relationships in songs is just one step up from writing about them in your diary or blog. Dear Diary, I hate Heather, she’s sooo mean! She’s trying to take lots of my money. The poo-poo head. I wish I could shoot her. Love Paul.