In case you've been living under a rock for the last week or so, Hannah Montana star, Miley Cyrus has come under a lot of flak following her "racy pose" for a Vanity Fair cover shoot in which she flashed... ummm... her back... right... hot.
Since the day the photo's were released (methinks Monday) there have been loads of claims (Miley Cyrus was tricked into doing it) and counter-claims (Miley Cyrus and her Billy Ray Cyrus are lying). Well at least it was good for one thing... publicity for Vanity Fair.
IMDB.com report that Vanity Fair's website had to shut down for four hours yesterday after being flooded by pedo's
people, who were eager to see the completely unremarkable stars photo's.
Am I the only one that doesn't get Miley Cyrus?
I mean... She's not pretty, not a good actress (I watched Hannah Montana once... and she was dancing in High School Musical 2... Don't raise your eyebrows at me! HSM is brilliant!) and she's not a Jew (Controversy!!!)... so tell me... what the hell is she doing in Hollywood?
And why are people making such a big deal out of this? She's a girl... In Hollywood... hence she's bound to be a whore. And don't correct me. I enjoy living in my own bubble of lies and deceit. The Commies killed Kennedy By the way. Just saying.
Billy Ray Cyrus has always tried to make sure that (It looks like) he's raising Miley Cyrus right. So as Hannah Montanah approaches her 16th birthday, the "Achy Breaky Heart" singer has decided that Miley won't be getting a pretty-car-that's-so-small-that-it-hurts-your-back-but-it's-so-shiny. She'll be driving a broken down Toyota like the rest of us (Except me... I drive a Nissan. Call me ladies... and guys. I have no friends).
Except that Miley didn't really get the memo. Cyrus Jr. has her heart set on a Porsche 911 Turbo and has apparently already talked to a dealer about the $125,000 car.
According to the stars friends,
'Miley is getting older now and wants to spend her money any way she wants. She is so confident that she'll be able to buy herself a Porsche when she turns 16 that she's already shopping for the car.'God... Just when you thought the world wasn't unfair enough, this... kid... gets a Porsche. I mean... what does she know about a Porsche? She can't even pick up hookers (or whores) in it! Ridiculous. I mean... at least before you had to be kinda' pretty to break into Hollywood (Hence you could blame God for being poor)... but with Miley... You can be a gap toothed, gum flashing, Southern drawling, short, skinny, mousy haired... and STILL make it in Hollywood. Now I have to blame myself for being poor. I hate that short shit... Where does she get the nerve to make me re-evaluate my life?
Billy Ray Cyrus was once a respected country singer who sang "Achy Breaky Heart", before he became his daughter's bitch on that sh*t Disney show.
When he was still singing country songs and sleeping with groupies left, right and center he managed to impregnate one named Leticia "Tish" Finley (Who he later married). The first child to pop out of her was a kid that she named Destiny Hope. Because she felt that it was destiny that they were together and she hoped that he'd marry her.
That child... Is Miley Cyrus. (Epic Music plays as people in my head applaud me for giving you guys such an interesting fact)
... I always thought Miley Cyrus was a stupid name. Especially when I learned that Miley was basically a bastardisation of Smiley. I mean my name's not great... but it's definitely better than Smiley without an S. But Smiley without an S is definitely better than the pornstar name her mum gave her. So... I guess everyone wins.
UPDATE: I thought that this was a really cool interesting fact... Until I looked on Wikipedia and found out that everyone who cares knows about this already. Screw you free encyclopedia's!
A consumer watchdog has slammed Miley Cyrus for her failure to wear a seat belt in a scene in her new movie. The scene features Miley and her dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) riding in the back of a Range Rover while not wearing their seatbelts (Shocking, I know),
The group says,
"It seems to us that Miley, her father, and Disney had a perfect opportunity to help influence teens and counteract-rather than encourage-this trend. Then again, as Hannah (Miley) herself sings, 'Everybody makes mistakes.'"Pffft. Whatever. If any kid takes life lessons from a Disney show than they deserve it if they crash through their car window and are run over by a massive diesel truck... Umm... It didn't sound that cruel in my mind... Ummm... so... what's up? (runs away)
Hi!
I'm back! Sorry for not updating for the last couple of days weeks months... It's just that... the internet is so different when you're using dialup! I mean... can you imagine having to stay up the whole night to download a 20 minute porno (You can't do it during the day, because everyone's calls are so... yeah sure grandma, I'm sure you're sister in law wants to hear about how you almost busted your hip 30 years ago... I didn't mean that... I'm sorry... Love you granny!). Anyway. I'm back now... So... Yeah...
I know a lot of you former readers will have left for greener chimes (read: Celebrity sites that actually update) but I promise you, I WILL restore Soggycornflakes.com to it's former glory. I WILL get a 100 visitors a day again.
Let's start this new year of SoggyCornflakes off by talking about how delightfully stupid kids are.
After reports that parents were mortgaging their homes in order to get tickets for their darling brats to see a Hannah Montana aka Miley Cyrus concert, reports are coming through that Disney has extended the run of Miley Cyrus' 3D concert movie, from an initial one week run to a second week.
imdb.com reports,
Ticket demand has forced Disney bosses to extend the project's big-screen run. The new movie becomes the biggest opener during a Super Bowl weekend and breaks records by topping the box office charts while playing at so few theatres - it opened on Friday in just over 2,000 cinemas, picking up an average of over $42,000 a venue.God... What is it with todays kids and Disney? I mean... When I was a kid, I hated everything that had to do with Disney. Except Toy Story. Toy Story was brilliant. And if any of you disagree you should probably leave your address in the comments... you know... so I can kill you. Or if not me, some other weird internet stalker.
Tween sensation, Miley Cyrus, better known as Hannah Montana of Disney’s hit TV show of the same name, is apparently a big hit singing wise.
She is set to tour all over America and her tickets have been snapped up like hot cakes. So much so that to get a ticket now would require an “investment” approaching 2000 Dollars.
Parents and fans are now left in a lurch wondering how to get their hands on the precious tickets.
One parent (After buying 2 seats for a relatively cheap 679 Dollars) said,
"It was supposed to be something light-hearted and fun, and it's turned into something more expensive than our monthly mortgage, My son has no knowledge of us going into credit-card debt to get the tickets. I thought it would be worth it — that it would compensate for my own mental anguish — but it leaves me with such a bad feeling. I'd promised him. How far am I willing to go to keep that promise. If I refused, that only hurts him."… I don’t get these parents. Just slap your kid around a bit and then shove a tootsie pop in his mouth. Their kids are probably gonna dump them in a nursing home in a couple of years anyway. They might as well get a head start in the meanness stakes.