SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Michael Vick, who is currently on trial for drowning, killing and probably raping dogs (Bah! What do I care? He's in jail, he can't get me), apparently should be released because he made a "mistake". These are the words of former boxing World Champion, Roy Jones Jnr. He said (On ESPN),

"I don't understand why they're making it such a big issue, Do you have to take it that far? He ain't murdered nobody. Let's move on. I'd really hate to see his whole career get ruined over a mistake he made."

Roy Jones Jnr. is right... I mean what did he do? Sure he made dogs fight for his amusement... than he killed the ones that couldn't fight... And kicked the ones that could... But it was all just a massive mistake. And now he's found Jesus too! We should just forgive him. Why don't we empty out all our prisons. They all just made mistakes. Especially that triple homicide guy... I mean... he said he's sorry. Admittedly he followed it up by "... for not killing more people..." But it was all a mistake. Mistakes happen man. Yesterday I dropped a glass and it shattered. Mistake. PS: Roy Jones Jnr. you c***! I hope I get a chance to put you in a fight to the death with Lindsay Lohan and than shoot you between the eyes when you lose and plead that it was a mistake.

Michael Vick, famed dog killer, burner, drowner and... molester (umm... why not?), finally released his statement in regards to his dog fights trial. TMZ Reports,

"Vick wasn't specific about the acts he was sorry for, but declared, “Dogfighting is a terrible thing. I reject it.” Between apologies to everyone from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank - to all the kids who used to look up to him, Vick declared that he's found Jesus and has turned his life over to God. “I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself, to say the least. I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts. What I did was very immature, so that means I need to grow up. I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to be a better Michael Vick the person, not the football player.”

It's amazing how all these celebs keep finding Jesus. Especially when you consider the fact that the Vatican has been looking for him for ages. I think we all know what this means. The pope is evil and cannot hope to find Jesus. Another thing it tells us is that there is no better candidate for the papacy than Michael Vick... Or Mel Gibson... Or Paris Hilton... Or Lindsay Lohan...