SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Only in Hollywood. Eddie Murphy is planning to sue Melanie Brown for attempting to ruin his reputation. His lawyer says:

“You have been engaging in a pattern of disseminating disparaging, negative and defamatory statements about Mr. Murphy, portraying him in a false and outrageous light in order to pressure Mr. Murphy to capitulate to your highly unreasonable extortionate demands, a source close to the situation reveals the letter said. We demand that you immediately case and desist from this wrongful conduct.”

Um, for those of you who don't get the linginese, it means they're talking crap about Eddie and he doesn't like it. Oh, and they're trying to make Eddie pay alot of money for a little kid. Like let her live in a mansion paid by Eddie until the kid is 18. Even I have to agree, that's screwed up. Though I don't know what Eddie is so worried about. He has the reputation of picking up transvestite hookers...it doesn't get much worse than that.

Their heads I mean (as the above cleverly distorted picture shows). While everyone shivers at the thought of the girl band making a come-back, the girls themselves are having a few issues backstage. The girls have grown as people since the 90's, but their ego's have grown just as much and things are tense between the ladies.

A source said that girl band of five members are having a tough time working out the gig without hitting each one’s ego. “There are too many egos for them to last more than a tour together. On the outside the girls are pals and everything is fantastic,” News of the world quoted the source, as saying. “But behind the scenes the Spice Girls' wars have started again—and the egos have landed,” the source added. The source also said that Posh Spice is fed up with Ginger’s limelight grabbing attempts and Scary Spice has been annoying everyone with her weird acts. The source added that Baby Spice is being accused by all for not being supportive and Sporty Spice wants to be by herself for interviews. ”Away from the cameras they are niggling away at each other and all vowing to be top dog. They had pledged to be calmer and collected but it is turning into an ego fest,” the source added. The source added that Ginger Spice really upset Mel B by reminding her of her baby’s absent dad actor Eddie Murphy. “Geri saw Angel and said, ‘Doesn't she look her dad.' The whole room stopped and the girls looked terrified that Mel would explode,” the source said. During a press conference, Posh seemed really upset that she was being dumped at the end of the table. “At one stage she didn't get a word in for ten minutes and she rolled her eyes. She looked put out. Posh and Mel C came away a bit bruised, as Mel B and Geri had stolen the thunder,” the source said. "Emma seemed happy to go along with everything, which meant the rest of them felt she wasn't supporting them,” the source added.

Sorry for that long, long extract but I was too lazy to paraphrase it and it gives a pretty good idea about what's going on with the gals. Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) went out of her way to say sorry to the others for walking out of the group 2 years before they disbanded in 2000 and she bought EACH of them $40 000 ring to apologise. Obviously they all cried after that...because that's what you do when you take advantage of someone that badly.

Well, the not-so-famous drama continues with Melanie Brown and her baby's daddy...who in all likelihood is Eddie Murphy. Mel apparently got so pissed off that Eddie refused to acknowledge that Angel (Mel's baby daughter) is his child too that she has a court order requiring him to pitch up and give a DNA sample. A source revealed that Murphy has been left with little choice but to appear.

“If he tries to duck out of this test there will be all hell to pay. This isn’t just another girlfriend he is messing around, this is his own flesh and blood,” “Mel knows the baby is Eddie’s and can’t believe it has got to this point where she has to force him to acknowledge there is a chance he could be the father. “He has left her with no choice. She doesn’t want Angel to grow up questioning who her father is. “At least this way they will know officially whether Eddie is the daddy or not and move on from there. This isn’t about the money, it’s about Angel knowing for sure who her dad is,”

That makes a lot of sense, I'll be laughing when Eddie has to make child payments.

So she's taking Eddie Murphy to court, because she's annoyed that he refuses to acknowledge his own daughter.

"He's not doing a DNA test and he's not signing the birth certificate. So it's going to have to go to court so he can be forced to do it, which is strange since he was the one asking for it."

Yeah, this is just sad. Eddie is a jackass, because he'll be proved as the baby's dad and then he'll start going on about how they cloned him and his clone was the one who slept with the ex-Spice Girl. Yeah right Eddie, like anyone is going to believe that. They've only cloned sheep so far and those have died...so unless I can make you into something that is dead and will keep me warm for the winter, forget it, you're a liar! Liar!

Well, her soulmate and the father of her baby, so that's pretty close to everything, right? Except that Eddie is a moron who insists that Melanie's child can't be his and a blood test should be done first. The actor broke up with the ex-Spice Girls singer after a 6-month relationship and left her pregnant.

"It wasn't a whirlwind romance. I fell so in love with him. I will always love him, there is no question about it."

Poor Melanie...but it doesn't look like he really cared about you. When you love someone, you don't just leave them all knocked-up...beating them is Ok though. God, I talk crap sometimes...

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Who in their right mind would want that bag-o-bones to be Godmother to their kid? There's no guarantee that she'll even live past the kids 10th birthday! Anyways, the Spice Girls had a reunion recently when Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice...for all those people who couldn't move beyond them) held a christening for her daughter Bluebell Madonna (WTF?) and Victoria Beckham is now the kids Godmother...all the SPice Girls were in attendance, except Scary Spice, who's probably busy with her own baby. You know, I never had a Godparent...maybe because I was such a cute baby, all the adults were intimidated by me. They had to wear anti-cuteness glasses before they could even glance at me. One guy tried without it and his head blew up. True story.

Ok, let's just assume that the kid that Scary Spice (aka Melanie Brown) had is Eddie Murphy's...um, yeah, that's it, the kid is his. I hate it when guys don't take responsibility...or when they make stupid movies...or when they pick up tranny hookers...so let's just say I hate Eddie Murphy. Yeah, so he says that the baby is not his, Melanie says it is. There'll be a huge court battle over this...or maybe Eddie will throw a few million at Melanie and we won't hear about this again...I hope that happens. So now Eddie has a little baby girl...who will be forever haunted by the fact that her mum was a Spice girl and her dad picks up hookers who are men. Welcome to the world kid, it's a terrible place...worse for you since your parents are such wierdo's...I think you might have been better off in Zimbabwe with Mugabe, you wouldn't have gotten fresh milk, but you would have avoided the humiliation.