SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Does it really matter? Nicole Richie’s baby is still going to be born out of wedlock and be a little b******…I don’t know why I put stars in. It isn’t swearing when it’s the truth, right? I’m just scared some teacher might try and read this blog…then I’ll be in trouble. Ca you get detention even after you’re out of highschool? I think so!

While at a party thrown by Perez Hilton (how low can you go?), DJ Kane announced to the crowd that Joel recently got engaged…Joel Madden didn’t acknowledge the announcement exactly…

“Joel did not say anything about the engagement other than to wave to the crowd and acknowledge the roar when the radio personality made the announcement. He then walked off stage,”

That’s obviously from some source, who obviously wanted to stay anonymous since he breathed the same air as Joel…how humiliating! Anyways, even if he did propose, will it really make a difference? You know he’s just doing it so Lionel Richie doesn’t kill him…or something equally menacing, like being molested by Care Bears.

I’m not making sense anymore, am I? I think I’ll shut up now.

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Nicole Richie was reported a few weeks ago to be pregnant with Singer Joel Madden’s child, by my esteemed colleagues from SoggyCornflakes - Sports and I’m here just to confirm…well, fuel the rumours.

The actress is also reported to be engaged to Joel Madden. No Nicole, being pregnant is not a good reason to get married. Well, that’s just my view, but I’m always right.

Awww, more ugly babies can be born into the world to two more people who aren’t at all equipped to deal with kids. That is the sad but obvious truth with regards to Nicole and Joel…hey, that rhymes! Gross…Daddy Lionel Richie says he has no idea what’s going on with Nicole since she doesn’t tell him anything…great communication skills, I see.

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Hey Everyone…In case you didn’t notice that someone else was writing my blogs, I’m not very happy to announce that I’m back! Fortunately, I got lucky today and one of our feature writers sent me some stuff that looks better here. So thanks Shants.

Lionel Ritchie recently performed at the wedding of John Terry over the weekend…yes the England captain is married and officially being shagged by just one woman. Lionel was reportedly paid 250 thousand pounds to perform, just imagine Nicole Ritchie’s dad performing at your wedding…how romantic right? Apparently not, he was made an arse off by the guests of the wedding.

He was evidently so boring that some of the audience members (those rude English people, treating that poor American so badly…LOL!) started singing along with Lionel. You might think, how sweet they actually knew the song, but that was so not the case, they were mimicking him, teasing at him. They were so persistent to show off their voices that Lionel had to eventually ask them to bear with him and that he only had two more songs to sing. How rude?! The man is a legend, not only did he make a name for himself as one of the best musicians in history but he is the dad of the girl that drove around on the wrong side of the road without her panties. I guess the English don’t have appreciation for a man that has such a feisty daughter.

-Lashanta Singh-

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That’s how far they’ll go to make Nicole Richie eat. You ask, who are the mysterious ‘They’…They are the men in black, the New Zealand cricket team, who were the only team in the opening ceremony to have any kind of fashion sense…Ok, I’m rambling here, sorry, I have to lay of those smarties.

Nicole Richie and boyfriend of 3-months Joel Madden have reportedly decided to tie the knot (which I’m sure won’t be amusing Hilary Duff). Lionel Richie, Nicole’s adopted father has approved of Joel, especially since he’s been watching for Nicole’s weight…isn’t that sweet? He doesn’t want his girlfriend to get too fat…What? You mean he wants her to put on weight? What the heck kind of a boyfriend is that? My ex-online boyfriend was better than that, he loved me just the way I am, and there was nothing possessive about him not letting me chat to other boys online, that’s called L-U-R-V-E…it’s so sad I had to delete his ass when he wanted me to put out. Cyber-sex is so not kewl girls, so don’t do it until you’re married.

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