SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan is reported to have settled a suit filed by a busboy seeking $200,000 over a 2005 car crash in Beverly Hills.

TMZ.com reports,

Raymundo Ortega filed the suit last June, even though the cops said he was to blame for the wreck on Robertson Blvd. Ortega, alleging that a then 19-year-old Lilo was pounding drinks at the Ivy before hopping in her Mercedes-Benz and driving off, had sued for at least $200,000 in damages.

Us Magazine adds,

In December, Lohan stated in court documents that she “did not consume an alcoholic beverage or any type of medication or drug” before the crash.

No wonder she had to settle out of court. Lindsay had absolutely no chance of winning this case. It’s a case that would involve Lindsay Lohan having to prove that she was sober at some point in her life… For her to win something like that would be akin to the miraculous OJ Simpson case.

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Lindsay Lohan and he one time (assumed) Lesbian lover, DJ Samantha Ronson, have jetted off from Los Angeles together to attend the Dolce and Gabbana show at Milan fashion week.

Before her visit to rehab, Lohan was reported to spend a lot of time with Ronson, who has been blamed for exposing Lohan to the paparazzi when she looked like this.

…

It’s nice to see Lindsay getting back to her roots. She’s probably facing up to the fact that her career is coming to an end, and is going out with a bang.

You know what would suck? If Lindsay read enough negative stuff about her and just decided to work hard so she can prove everyone wrong, and then I’d have nothing to write about and this website would shrivel up like an elephant’s balls on a cold day…

…

… Nah! Lindsay can’t read, can she? I mean apart from the alcohol content in drinks, right?

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Dina Lohan, better known as “White Oprah”,(even) better known as Lindsay Lohan’s mother, (even) better known as that old attention seeking weirdo, says that Lindsay’s “tribute” to Marilyn Monroe was “tasteful”.

Dina Lohan tells People Magazine,

“It was very tastefully done,”

“I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically, For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say, ‘Can you recreate these photos?’ is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don’t look at them like it’s Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother.”

This weathered sack of bones wouldn’t know what tasteful was if it came up to her wearing a top hat, monocles and a black suit carrying a neon sign that said “tasteful”.

Unlike me. Sometimes I even speak with an English accent!

Wotcher Mate!

See? See?

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Alcoholic and sometimes actress Lindsay Lohan has decided to bare (Bare NOT flash) her boobs for a photoshoot designed as a tribute to Marilyn Monroe’s iconic shoot, “The Last Sitting”. (I stole the word “iconic” from TMZ.com… they use big words, and big words make me look smart.)

Unsurprisingly (Because it’s Lindsay) she came out looking freckly and bloated, and instead of the shoot being a tribute to Ms. Monroe it ended up looking more like a parody. A SNL of “The Last Sitting” if you will.

When asked whether she was nervous about baring her babaloos she said,

“I was comfortable with it… I didn’t have to put much thought into it, I mean, Bert Stern? Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It’s really an honor.”

To be honest I wasn’t as excited as I thought I would be with these photo’s. I distinctly remember watching Mean Girls and thinking of… y’know… cool stuff… that involve fun bags… But now… We’ve all basically seen every part of Lindsay’s anatomy (Including her bazoombas)
so now when she finally reveals it all… instead of being impressed it’s more a case of… Meh.

Timing is everything in Hollywood. I mean… If she had done this shoot 3 years ago, loads of schlongs around the world would have crumbled into dust due to the friction… now… you just think, “Oh… She probably needed drug money… or rent money… she probably needed cash… Where’s my XBox controller?”.

… Yeah.

NOTE: I refuse to deface this site with those photo’s. However you can see them here and here. Like I said… not really impressive.

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Part-time actress, full time whore, Lindsay Lohan has managed to find someone brave enough to venture into her STD ridden fire crotch (You know it’s ironic that every blogger claims to hate Brandon Davis, but the term “Fire crotch” seems to be etched into blogging legend… I reckon that’s what Brandon Davis will have on his grave stone, “He who revealed fire crotch”, I mean… what else could he have? Cocaine junkie? Fatass? Failed Model? I think he’ll be very happy to be remembered in a semi-positive way), following her breakup with Riley Giles.

A source says,

“Lindsay was totally smitten with this guy.”

“She introduced him to all her friends and said, ‘This is my boyfriend, Spencer.’ She kept gazing at him and they were really touchy feely.”

Charming.

I hate it when people start kissing at restaurants. Get a room… or a spit bucket. Have you ever noticed that when people come to restaurants and start kissing they make sure that they transfer as much saliva to one another as possible? Making sure that everyone gets as good a look at the saliva as possible? And then they start having sex on the tables? And then the girl makes all these fake moaning sounds?

No?

I think I might have to stop eating at the local brothel…

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Lindsay Lohan has been banned from an exclusive hotel following her trashing of a room along with her former boyfriend, Riley Giles.

After hosting Lindsay and her former flame in the hotel for three days, hotel staff were disgusted to discover the mess of cigarette butts and used syringes in the room, besides an unmistakeble stench. The Shutter’s on the beach hotel apparently had to call in a cleaning crew to clean up the mess.

An insider says,

“There was also a bloody syringe that someone left lying on the bedside table on a room service tray. Hotel security photographed it before calling someone to remove it because it was considered hazardous waste.”

I can’t believe this! I mean… SHE WAS IN REHAB! She met her boyfriend in rehab! She was rehabilitated!

I’m honestly very shocked… It took a month for her to be found with drugs again? For shame tabloid journalists… For shame!

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And by Lohan, I mean Mr. Lohan… Lindsay’s father. I have no idea what his name is. So I’ll call him Pippen.

Pippen Lohan is impressed with the new man (read: loser) in Lindsay’s life. He is also upset about how the media are treating Riley.

Pippen Lohan says,

“Riley is a good kid. He comes from a good family. It’s not about what we did in the past. It’s about righting those wrongs. I don’t think anyone has the right to judge Riley. They [Lindsay & Riley] keep each other in line. They go to meetings with one another.”

How dare he say I don’t have a right to judge Riley?

I’ll judge him however much I want. Like in the picture above. He has stubble… so I assume (i.e judge) that he doesn’t have a home… and he’s wearing a back to front baseball cap… so I assume (i.e judge) that he suffers from a mild form of mental retardation… and he’s hanging out with Lindsay Lohan… so I assume (i.e judge) that he has STD’s that most of us have never even heard of.

To put it mildly… I’ll judge him all I want!

Note: Lindsay’s dad’s name is Michael.

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Hi all!

Hope you enjoyed your weekend. I spent mine studying for my Economics exam. That doesn’t mean I’ll pass. It just means I get to fail in style.

Anyway, back to celeb news.

After earlier reports that Lindsay Lohan had smoked away all her money (An estimated 7 million Dollars), it seems she has come up with a new source of income… from photo’s… of herself.

According to Janet Charlton, Lindsay the paps ahead of time so that they can snap her pics… after which they share the profits with Lindsay.

Talk about drunk with fame. I suppose she needs something to replace the void in her life, after she quit alcohol. Oops.

I don’t get it. For photos of Lindsay, newspapers are willing to pay money. But when I send my photo’s to CNN all I get back are claims that I’m “harassing them” and “wasting their precious time”.

I mean… I took those photo’s with a digital camera… 8 mega pixels gone to waste. Bast*rds.

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After breaking up the marriage of Riley Giles and Breanna Tierney, it seems that the star of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t watch it. Promise) is set to wed the man of her dreams (Read: Druggie, alcoholic and funny looking). To recap in case you missed yesterdays blog, Riley Giles had proposed to his ex girlfriend with a cheap Zircon ring, which he tried to pass it off as a diamond ring. A radio DJ named JJ confirms the news from the horses mouth.

Ok! Magazine has the details:

“I read an article about [Riley’s] ex-fiance; I was trying to book her on my radio show,” JJ explains to OK!. “I saw on her MySpace that she was bickering with Riley, so I went back to the article and realized it was Lindsay’s man! This is when I e-mailed him, and tried to get him on the show.”

JJ then claims that Lindsay and Riley, who met in rehab at Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah, got engaged, at the Utah resort the actress stayed at after she first exited rehab. JJ tells OK! that it was Riley himself who revealed he was engaged.

This is so sad. It’s like Britney Spears II, except Lindsay has no money.

Also yesterday I went on to this guys myspace which you can see here (Only click this if you’re willing to hear one of the worst songs ever. I don’t even know what it’s called. I just know that my ears hate me), and for the first time I realized what a sad breed of human most myspace users are.

Here’s one of the many idiotic comments on his page,

Ur the man dude….I think you pulled off every guys fucking dream pull….and in all places rehab. Don’t get caught up in petty back and forth shit…the press will eat you alive…silence is virtue…lata playa

I suppose every guy dreams of dying with 60 STD’s…

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You know that guy? The one we spoke (wrote and read) about yesterday? The one that slept with Lindsay Lohan? No! Not number 657. I think he might be number 832. He’s a snowboarder. Riley Giles or whatever. Yeah? His girlfriend is whining to The Enquirer.

She says,

“Lindsay Lohan stole my fiancé and wrecked my life!”

“I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up.

“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all.

“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.”

“Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help – besides drug rehab — for all her other problems.”

Can you say drama queen? It’s not like Lindsay stole away Brad Pitt or anything. She stole away a crap druggie snowboarder, who is in all likelihood unemployed and dresses like K.Fed is his role model.

And for someone to say Lindsay Lohan has no morals… It’s like saying the earth is round… Or the sun is shiny… I think, once someone has blown half of Hollywood, it’s safe to assume she’s not a big “Jesus fan”.

UPDATE: Ooh, Ooh Update!!! I forgot the best part of the interview.

The Enquirer reports,

She was stunned to discover Riley had given her a fake diamond engagement ring.

“I went to get it repaired because some of the diamonds fell out,” she recalled. “I wanted to scream when the jeweler told me the stones were cheap cubic zirconias.”

It’s amazing how stupid some people are. She expected her unemployed, K.Fed wannabe boyfriend to give her a diamond ring? She’s lucky that at least there were zircons and not random pebbles he picked off the ground and stuck to a hollowed out Coke lid.

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