SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Which might make him the only person in the world who genuinely cares about Lindsay Lohan, excluding family. Wait, no, including family.

Johnny Depp feels sorry for the messed up starlet and he and longtime girlfriend Vanessa Paradis have offered her their private island to get away from the media and such. The island, appropriately called “F*** off Island” is located somewhere in the caribbean. He invited her after meeting her backstage at the recent MTV Movie Awards.

A source reports,

“Johnny realises the pressures of fame and can see Lindsay could do with a break.”

A break from what? Churning out flop films after another? Partying until all hours? While I think that the gesture was very nice, there are more needy people in the world. Like the Somalians…or the Sudanese…or me. I mean, c’mon, bitter little blogger, doesn’t that bring tears to your eyes?

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Boohoo! It isn’t fair! Why are all the good guys being snapped up and the rest of us are left with the crap who stand you up…seriously, is it that hard to call someone and tell then you’re not pitching up? God, I hate guys…no wonder some women prefer to be lesbians. But I still love Johnny…and Orlando…and Brad…aw man, so many guys, so little time.

So Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp is now rumoured to be getting married to long-time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis this summer. The illness of their daughter, Lily-Rose is the factor that forced some action out of them, even though they contemplated the idea of marriage for a while. You know what? I can’t make fun of them…Johnny Depp sounds like a really nice guy who cares about his family so much. Wish you all the best Johnny.

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It has been reported that Johnny Depp’s 7-year-old daughter was on the “touch and go” when her kidney’s almost shut down from her contracting E.Coli from scratching against a rusty nail at home.

Isn’t E-Coli one of those ultra-contagious and ultra-deadly diseases? Oh wait, that’s Ebola, but they sound the same right?

Never realized nails were so rough and tough. I knew they had some prick in them, but damn! They attack 7 year olds and probably old ladies in the street, how gansta is that? I am SO turned on right now.

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