SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Unless they get marriage licenses for the fun of it. People collect weirder things, you know.

So it looks like Beyonce Knowles and Shawn Corey Carter will be tying the knot. What? You don’t think the priest is going to call him Jay-Z during the ceremony, do you?

These reports emerge after Jay-Z and Beyonce were in Scarsdale Village and dropped into a marriage registry office to pick up a little marriage license, available for $40. So lifelong happiness/screwedness comes so cheap?

Last week it was reported that Jay-Z met with his sister to discuss the best way to pop the question to Beyonce and twist his future father-in-law’s arm persuade his future father-in-law to let him marry Beyonce.

So, do you think this marriage will last?

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At the opening of his new club, the hiphop mogul was asked if he was going to marry Beyonce Knowles and he replied by saying that it would be happening one day soon and let’s leave it at that.

I agree with him. I just have to tell you about his new Las Vegas club though. It has floors made of 24-karat gold and platinum, 85 plasma TVs and five VIP rooms. How tacky. Does that mean I can scrape gold off the floor?

It’s called class people!

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Singer Rihanna apparently never knew that rapper Jay-Z was so protective of her. She said she found out through a mutual friend that men usually go to Jay-Z and ask permission before coming to her.

“I just found out from a mutual friend that guys will talk to Jay first before they try to approach me. He’s very protective. Jay has my best interests in mind. If it’s a good guy I know Jay won’t shut him down. But if he’s not, Jay will be like, ‘No, no, no’…I have no clue who they are and I guess I’ll never know.”

Erm, ohkay. Well, I don’t really know how to make fun of this. Jay-Z’s playing the protective father-figure here. Wonder what his list of requirements must be to let someone approach Rihanna…

1. Must be a brother
2. Must be rich
3. Better not be fake jewelery that he’s wearing

Yeah, that wasn’t very funny. I think I might be losing my gift!

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After years of dating and being the most boring celebrity couple EVER, Beyonce Knowles and ex-rapper Jay-Z are tying the knot and will be the most boring married couple ever.

Jay-Z popped the question recently (without a ring) and Beyonce said yes (without a ring). How can you get engaged without a ring??? They’re breaking the code! Though Jay0Z did say that he’s gonna buy her the biggest ring that her finger can hold. That’s classy, seriously. It’s like when I walked around with a neon sign saying “Cutest gal ever! and by ever, I mean EVER!”. It wasn’t a really big sign, but just to make sure everyone got it, I got a plane to write it in the sky…in hot pink smoke!

And here’s Beyonce’s boring quote:

“I want to get married and really want a family - in a perfect world I’d have two boys and a girl…You know someone loves you by the way he treats you and respects you. Me and Jay respect each other.”

I like Beyonce, but she must stop being so boring!

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Like anyone really cares, but I just want to put all of your minds at rest by confirming that rapper Jay-Z does not have a love-child.

He was reportedly the father of the 5-year-old child of model Shenelle Scott and rumours claimed that he paid $1 million to make sure that his name stayed off he birth certificate. The kid was born on the 30th of January 2002 (Hey, that’s my birthday!) but Jay-Z’s spokesperson brushed off the rumours as “ridiculous”.

Why is it ridiculous? Jay-Z could have slept with countless of women and there’s always a chance that one of them could have conceived. What? They just want his money? Never! No mother would be so cruel, selfish and manipulative to use her child for financial gain!

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