SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

In both body and mind. Us Weekly reports that Nicole Richie is continually pestering her baby's daddy, Joel Madden, about his ex-girlfriend Hilary Duff. A source tells Us Weekly,

"She will ask if he's going to watch Lizzie McGuire DVDs or listen to Hilary's albums, Joel tells her she's being out of line."

I guess that always happens with insecure women. They think their man is looking at every single woman in the world... Which he probably is... But still. It doesn't help saying it all the time. It just disturbs the woman watching experience... Which is a lot like bird watching... except with more masturbation. Not me though. I'm like a monk. I just look down and walk straight...* *Into hot girls. That's what monks do, right?

After asking for a "big" car, Hilary Duff is now the lucky recipient of a $100 000 Mercedes Benz, courtesy of her boyfriend, Mike Comrie, a center for the Edmonton Oilers hockey team. People.com reports,

Hilary Duff's expectations were low when her hockey player boyfriend, Mike Comrie, called recently to say he'd picked out an early 20th birthday present for her and that "I hope you like them." "Okay, it's shoes or something," Duff recalled thinking as she went to her sister's house, where Comrie had said he left the present in the garage. "I opened the garage, and I was just like shocked, just standing there." Before her, with a big red bow on top, was a Mercedes-Benz G-class SUV (retail price: more than $100,000).

What a douchebag. "I hope you like them"... you dick! You just bought her a car that could feed a 3rd World Nation for a couple of days! If she doesn't like it I think you're legally obliged to break her teeth... Wait... morally obliged to break her teeth.

You know, I hate it when magazines ask celebs political questions... because they all try to sound deep, socially aware and noble, but just end up sounding stupid. Case in point: Hilary Duff. When asked what would she do if she were made US President, Duff replied,

“There are so many issues in America. Our involvement in the Iraq war is the most obvious, and also the way some people are treated,” “I would also change the weekends to workdays, and have the whole week as a weekend. Then I’d be a popular politician wouldn’t I?”

I know it was supposed to be a joke... but... but... it's so juvenile. Oh, look at me! If I was president I'd make funny jokes while crashing the stock market! Yay! Why can't she be mature and cultured... like me? When I steal a ladies handbag off the back of her chair in restaurants, I even leave a thank you note... Ok... Sometimes... Ok... Once... And it was actually just a big sign saying "sucker!"...

Apparently Maxim magazine is living under a rock, because they don't seem to know what's going on with Lindsay Lohan and have judged her as number one in the Hot poll and put her on the cover of their 10th anniversary magazine. A little quote from the article:

For the past year we’ve all been voyeurs into the paparazzi’s Lindsay Lohan Show. But now the 21-year-old megastar is ready to put her catfights, car crashes, and rehab behind her and concentrate on what’s important. Namely, her work and being Hollywood’s sexiest woman. Do you consider yourself sexy? Um, I’m starting to blush. I don’t know how to answer that. Every girl wants to feel sexy, and I like to think of myself as sexy. It’s a matter of confidence and how you hold yourself. Everyone’s sexy in her own way.

So when did Hilary Duff take over Lindsay's body, because I'm sure she couldn't have said that. It probably went more like this: Do you consider yourself sexy? "Yesh I do" -guttural moan- "lookie here!" -attempts to moon the interviewer but trips over herself and collapses to the floor, snoring- You all know that that is how it happenned. Everything else is just a lie. Or a PR trick. Tomato, tomaato.

Actress and Singer Hilary Duff is apparently done with the single life for now, as she's been seen with Canadian hockey player Mike Comrie. They were seen in Santa Monica snapped leaving a restaurant...who's name is way to long and foreign to type. They then drove off in his car. Yup, and that's all the news that I could find about them. Hilary's kinda boring. She's cute and clean, but boring. The dude is 26, which makes him...ummm, 7 years older than her. You see, I can do math!

Cute Hilary Duff is still learning her way around the industry, but she's pretty good at what she does...that is, sing teeny-bopper songs and do chick flicks...but that's a talent on its own. The actress also now knows what she wants in a relationship.

"The most important thing on my list (for boyfriend requirements) would be that he has to be in the business, so he understands how hard it can be, with the lifestyle, but that he has to have other interests outside of work. He has to be adventurous and teach me new things, and have a strong faith, and make me laugh, and be cute. I'm kind of crazy, so I like boys who don't take themselves too seriously."

Whatever, I don't care...I'm sleepy. A few more posts and I'm off to bed.

A Canadian man is now the second guy to promise that he'll kill the 19-year-old actress and singer. Hilary was in Toronto being interviewed by Live @ Much host Leah Miller, when a guy in the crowd outside the studio declared that he would kill Hilary. Policeman tackled the man and banged his head while he yelled "Police brutality...Let me go, I have to kill her! I have to! Bugs Bunny told me to!" Ummm, yeah, you can work out which part of the I made up. Poor Hilary, apparently everone has issues with her. It's like she has a sign on her back that says KILL ME. It's like I have a sign on my back that says "'I'M HOT". Yeah,it wierd, I knwo.

Hilary Duff says that the pressure of staying thin is really hard, because no-one seems to be happy with her and have always branded her as too fat or thin. The singer and actress (or would singing actress be more appropriate?) says that she's never had an eating problem (unlike many actresses her age including rival Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen Twins). Her new album ("Dignity") will be out tomorrow, so guess who'll be using LimeWire tomorrow? Ummm, no, wait! I mean, guess who'll be waiting three months before the album is released in this hellhole of a city? Hilary recently broke up with rocker Boyfriend Joel Madden and while she isn't willing to talk about it, she'll sing about it. My therapist says that's a very healthy way of expressing yourself, especially when people die when they you sing...now that's real power.

That’s how far they’ll go to make Nicole Richie eat. You ask, who are the mysterious ‘They’…They are the men in black, the New Zealand cricket team, who were the only team in the opening ceremony to have any kind of fashion sense…Ok, I’m rambling here, sorry, I have to lay of those smarties. Nicole Richie and boyfriend of 3-months Joel Madden have reportedly decided to tie the knot (which I’m sure won’t be amusing Hilary Duff). Lionel Richie, Nicole’s adopted father has approved of Joel, especially since he’s been watching for Nicole’s weight…isn’t that sweet? He doesn’t want his girlfriend to get too fat…What? You mean he wants her to put on weight? What the heck kind of a boyfriend is that? My ex-online boyfriend was better than that, he loved me just the way I am, and there was nothing possessive about him not letting me chat to other boys online, that’s called L-U-R-V-E…it’s so sad I had to delete his ass when he wanted me to put out. Cyber-sex is so not kewl girls, so don’t do it until you’re married.

Seriously, I'm too lazy to paraphrase this, but ContactMusic reports:

HILARY DUFF is set to lash out at her GOOD CHARLOTTE rocker ex-boyfriend JOEL MADDEN and his girlfriend NICOLE RICHIE on her new album. The 19-year-old's upcoming album, DIGNITY, is due out next month (APR07) and appears to touch on her feelings about her failed romance with Madden and his rebound relationship with Richie. The title track features lyrics including, "Where's you dignity? I think you lost it in the Hollywood Hills. Can't buy respect, but you can pick up that bill." The barbed song goes on, "Always with Mr Right, but when you have a fight/Run into your friend's ex, he's happy to be your next/Tomorrow's paper's coming out so kiss him fast, watch the cameras flash." Other tracks include GYPSY WOMAN and STRANGER, both of which seem to be aimed directly at Richie. Duff's spokeswoman has confirmed some of the songs are about Madden and Richie. She tells RadarOnline.com, "She (Duff) has gone through a lot." Meanwhile, another song on the new album, DREAMER, focuses on Duff's problems with "a pair of Russian stalkers".

Now lets talk about how sad Hilary is. I hate to have to do this, because she really is sweet and I think she's the best from Hollywood girls her age, but that isn't really saying much, because a 3-legged hermaphrodite called Porky with odour problems is better than those gals. What else can I say? Hilary, you were too good for Joel, now get over it. If you don't, I'll start listening to Lindsay Lohan, and you wouldn't want that, would you?