SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Milo Ventimiglia, the guy who's supposedly dating Hayden Panettiere apparently doesn't know it yet. In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan (*cough* gay *cough*) Ventimiglia made some comments that were very unbecoming of someone who was having sex with Hayden Panettiere. When asked about whether he gets nervous on dates, he said,

Yes. I’ve been single for a year and a half. It’s tough being witty for two hours.

Finally some good news today. Of course he could just be hiding the truth from the Paps. But why would he do that? If I was dating Hayden Panettiere (or any woman that wasn't hideously deformed) I'd be screaming it from the roof tops. Just in case he is telling the truth, here's what Hayden had to say about what she looks for in a guy,

I have to be with someone who’s driven. When they’re not, it becomes difficult. In a lot of relationships, you get in and you spend every waking moment with that person. But I’ve figured out that the healthiest relationship is where you each have your own life, but they meet in a nice point in the middle.

I guess that rules me out... unless... does being driven to stuff your hard drive with as many minutes of free internet porn count? Because if it does... I'm totally in! Totally! (In all honesty, I didn't used to think Hayden was hot. But than she got famous, and people started calling her hot... So now I do too. I'm a pathetic sheep-like blogger... Wait! Don't go! I have some of my own views! Like... umm... Gisele Bundchen has a weird man face... see? Even The Bastardly guy agrees with me.. Oh... Crap... You can go now... Just come back tomorrow... Please.)

Heroes star, Hayden Panettiere, says she is amused by the constant media speculation surrounding her. However she seems to bas in it, saying that she would love to be linked with a woman. Hayden says,

"Well, if you want to make me a lesbian, that's totally fine with me. That would be a pretty funny rumor." "I'd love to have a love affair with Angelina." "And there are other beautiful girls I like too - Charlize Theron, oh my God!" "Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous too, and Jessica Alba."

Isn't that cute? She wants to engage in sexual congress... with... these woman... these very hot women... naked... and stuff. What a b****! Now I won't be able to sleep at night! Just thinking about... that... and... you know... all the blowing... and the smiling... and the touching... and the smiling... and the blowing... I think I'm repeating myself... ... Do you think Jesus hates Ms. Panettiere for having these thoughts?

Ne-Yo (who according to Wikipedia is a rapper) says that he is NOT dating Hayden Panettiere of Heroes fame. Although he admits he was holding hands with the midget-y actress he claims he was only helping her out of her car. He says,

"Hayden and I just met yesterday. We've only known each other for one day, She was hanging out with some friends and invited me to come out."

As for the hand holding,

"I was helping her out of the car! She had these shoes – they were cute – but they were torture devices, so I had to help her."

Well, I think we can all agree that these two are not going out. Ne-Yo is clearly gay. I mean... "She had these shoes – they were cute"? As a heterosexual guy the only thing your licensed to notice on a girl is her chest. And if you don't end up in jail, you're doing it wrong. Make sure you're looking closely enough. Keep trying until you end up in jail... I hear you meet people like Ne-Yo there.

Like a Van Damme movie. Except she's hot and doesn't speak in a "bum me - I'm gay" accent. Following her support for the dolphins (or seals... or whales... or something in the ocean) in Japan, Heroes star, Hayden Panettiere is apparently wanted in Japan. By the cops. Apparently Hayden and her group rode surf boards into a cove off the cost of Taiji in an attempt to steer dolphins (or seals... or whales... or some other fish thing) away from fishing boats. Despite the warrant, Hayden says she's proud of herself,

"In this town, you tend to be able to get publicity when you're not wearing underwear or [you're] in rehab, I was very excited that people were interested in what we did.

Oooh... a dig at Lindsay. Catty... Wait! did that sound gay? That sounded gay didn't it? What I meant to say was... ummm... Grawr, she dissed Lindsay's ass! These ho's need to get naked and mud wrestle! Yes. That is what I meant to say. Manly and classy. Call me ladies.

Hayden Panettiere (who is all of 154 cm tall according to celebheights.com) was apparently livid when an US weekly reporter, reported that she had broken up with some Italian dude. Michael Ausiello says:

Anyway, it was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter's skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week's end.

Wow... The poor guy must've been really scared... I mean... being attacked by midgets is something that has terrified us all... The Exorcist... The Omen... Carrie... Terrifying stuff indeed. Lock your doors and windows tonight folks... Hayden is on the prowl. (I won't lock mine by the way... Just in case she really is on the prowl... Because I'm brave... I'll take one for the team. High five!)

Hayden Panettiere, the star of Heroes, has broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years... Stephen... ummm... something Italian... Tribbiani maybe?... Yeah... or maybe Mario... definitely something Italian... He's on that show about beaches or whatever... Anyway... Us says,

...a source tells Us, "Their breakup has been a long time coming." But that doesn't mean the former sweethearts are feuding. Panettiere tells Us, "We are still very close friends and talk to each other frequently. We appreciate and support each other's careers."

Since when is appearing on TV once in a while a career? Because if it is, than I have a career too! A TV career! Once I was on TV at a football game! Sure I was really fuzzy and was basically a blob amongst 60 00 other fans! But I'm sure more people saw me than this Italian guy... Unless his career is being a nobody... Than he's amazing at it... and deserves all the support in the world.

So says Hayden Penettiere. I guess all of us got her wrong. Penettiere (It's her birthday today, y'know) was speaking about how she'll stay grounded because she has to do chores. When the topic of Hilton came up, she said,

"I've known Paris since I was 13. We did a film together before I was famous," she said. "At 15, I did party with her, but I was just doing what every teenage girl does. "Paris is a very nice person and a lot brighter than people give her credit for - she's a marketing genius, but no one sees her like that because she plays this character all the time. "She just laughs at silly people who judge her and goes, 'OK, think whatever you like about me, but I'm the one having fun'."

I don't get it... Is Paris Hilton really smart? Have we all been fooled? Or is she just the by-product of the worlds obsession with celebrities and whores? Is Paris Hilton really just an evil genius... hell bent on Hollywood domination? ... dun dun dun dun! (That was the scary music they play at the end of horror movies, in case you don't get it) (By the way... No, Paris Hilton is still stupid. Why do I say that, you ask? Because it makes me feel secure that the world is still normal... because if Paris Hilton turned out to actually be smart... than I'd be forced to change all my preconcieved notions and religious agenda's... and that would mean I'd have to stop throwing stuff at all those Jehova's witness guys... No... No... Paris Hilton is still stupid... She has the IQ of a rock man... a stupid rock...)

says Hayden Panettiere (kinda). The now legal (Happy Birthday Hayden... she's a slag now!), said on the Late Show with David Letterman that the 34 year old was too old for her, after he was spotted with her mum. She said,

"He's a good friend, a very nice guy, I think he's a little old for me."

That's a bit mean. Especially seeing that most of her fan base consists of 45 year old perverted men going through mid-life crisis'. I'm talking about you, man! You know who you are! There's no Hayden porn here! Go Away! (Don't go! It was a joke! Of course I have illegal porn here... Actually I still don't... But in place of the degradation of women, I have sharp wit and homo jokes... Where's everyone going!?)