Nov 05
2007
Horse faced supermodel, Gisele Bundchen, is reportedly refusing to take payments in American Dollars while the currency remains weak. The Dollars has lost 34% of its value since 2001 and is at an all time low against the Euro, Pound and Canadian Dollar (I think… Don’t look at me like that! I don’t do Economics… Wait. I do. Don’t look at me like that! I don’t pass Economics!).
Gisele’s sister and manager said,
“Contracts starting now are more attractive in euros because we don’t know what will happen to the dollar.”
How the hell does this chick get away with demanding money to take her clothes off? I mean… she has no curves, no ass and looks like a man… If his mother were a horse. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those people that say “Super models are so ugly, they look like men and have no curves or ass”… I mean, I’d jump Allesandra Ambrosio like there were no tomorrow .. It’s just that… Gisele looks like a man and has no curves and no ass.
She was hot like… 7 Years ago. Now she’s just… mannish. And how dare she insult the Dollar! Here I am waiting for a google check (In Dollars) and she’s all “Not good enough”. Well La Di Da Da your majesty… Cow.
I guess that’s the difference between a two bit blogger and a super model. Even if the super model has no curves, no ass and looks like a man.
I mean to be repetitive, by the way. Repetition is the mother of skill… and of brain washing!
Ha! I mind raped you all!!!
NOTE: I really apologize for the bad grammar (earlier) today. I think I fixed it all. Not to worry people. I just have one exam left and than I’m home free!!!
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Jul 18
2007
Brazilian model, Gisele Bundchen, topped Forbes 2007 list of richest models (Models who earned the most this year). She earned a staggering 33 million dollars. More than triple the earnings of second placed Kate Moss (who earned 9 million). The rest of the top 5 consisted of Heidi Klum ($8 million), Adriana Lima ($6 million) and Alessandra Ambrosio ($6 million).
…
So… They get paid to publicly prance around in their underwear?
But when I do it, suddenly it’s all, “Put your clothes Back on” and “You dirty Pervert!”.
Where’s the justice in the world?
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Jun 08
2007

Damn, I’m good. Yesterday’s blog (it was yesterday, right? I’m losing my sense of time)…I spoke about Gisele Bundchen being a big-headed freak and even though I didn’t write it, my picture basically told you that Brazilian footballer Kaka was a virgin when he got married and quite proud of it. Kaka read my thoughts and came out to say:
“The Bible teaches that true love waits until marriage…If our life today is so beautiful, I think it is because we waited.”
He says that him and wife Caroline waited, because it was a test of their love. Seriously, that is just so cute! Now i feel deprived…when is my Kaka going to arrive?
I know I said celebrities weren’t worth paying attention to, but Kaka is so gorgeous, I’m going to listen to him. So me and him are gonna laugh while Gisele looks stupid. Thank you Gisele for setting supermodels so far back…you totally smashed the stereotype that models are sleazy, moral-less, anorexic hoe-bags…oh wait, you didn’t!
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Jun 07
2007

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen has issues with the Catholic church, so she decides to tell everyone her stupid, baseless views.
ContactMusic reports:
The Brazilian beauty accuses The Vatican of being irresponsible for their stance against contraception and abortion. Bundchen tells the Folha de Sao Paulo newspaper, “Today no one is a virgin when they get married … show me someone who’s a virgin.” Referring to pregnant women, Bundchen says they should be given the right to choose whether or not they have the child. She says, “If she thinks she doesn’t have the money or the emotional condition to raise a child, why should she give birth? “It’s ridiculous to ban contraceptives - you only have to think of the diseases that are transmitted without them. I think it should be compulsory to use a contraceptive. “How is it possible to not want people to use condoms and also not have abortions? It’s impossible, I’m sorry.”
Gisele, you’re a supermodel, you’re just there to look pretty and sell clothes and make-up. That’s it! Please don’t bore us with your philosophical ramblings. I hate it when celebrities think that because they flash their ass for cash, we’re supposed to accept or even listen to their views.
Get back on the runway and start flashing Gisele!
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May 15
2007

Yeah, because as soon as you have issues, just chop your hair off…damn, I should be bald then.
Brazilian supermodel GISELE BUNDCHEN shaved off all her hair during a low point in her rocky relationship with actor LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. The sexy star - who dated the Blood Diamond actor on/off for five years - has lent her support to troubled superstar Britney Spears, who shaved off her long locks earlier this year (Feb07). Bundchen says, “It was not a fun time in my life - but I know the shame and torment Britney went through, when she cut all her hair off… “I immediately regretted my hasty decision and flew to Brazil to hide out with my family till it grew back. I’ll never cut it again - I think my success as a model is down to my boobs and my hair.”
Ummm, you’re right about the first part Gisele. Let’s just ask a few guys if they really worry about how your hair looks. As long as you have some, I’d say you’re good…because bald girls are gross.
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May 04
2007

And it was not because they were a secret organisation of super-hot spies who had day jobs as lingerie models and she left because one of the spies thought that she was more beautiful than Gisele so Gisele quit in protest because the other model/spy didn’t wanna mud wrestle to sort things out…though I’m sure lot’s of guys imagine that. Not me though, I’m a girl, I can just think like a guy sometimes, it’s a gift I have.
Anyways, Gisele Bundchen left for a few reasons…like demands that she would never be on the same runway as Bar Refaeli (ex boyfriend Leo’s new girlfriend), that she travel less and get paid more. Also, Victoria’s Secret wasn’t happy that Gisele put on weight after quitting cigarettes. Well, I guess a few extra pounds really do make a difference when you spend your day being mostly naked. But not everyone has to get naked to feel good…all you readers are hotter than Gisele without taking off your tops…and if you took them off, you’d be even hotter…like fire, or hot fudge, or me.
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Mar 12
2007

Gisele Bundchen’s family are quick to deny that Gisele could be pregnant with boyfriend Tom Brady’s baby, who’s already expecting a baby with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan.
Her dad says that he checks up with Gisele everyday and she would have told him if she was pregnant. Gisele hasn’t denied the rumours however, and taking her boyfriend to meet her parents and speaking about maternity in a recent interview has just feulled rumours.
Honestly, I don’t care whether she’s knocked up or not, I don’t know how likely she is to have a decent looking kid, but babies are always cute, with their wittle hands and their wittle feet and how they hold your finger and its all so nunnus! Oh man, now I want a baby. Guys, any takers?
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