SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

According to OK! Magazine George Clooney and Brad Pitt are best buds. Also according to OK! Magazine, Jennifer Aniston still holds plenty of hostility for anything related to Brad Pitt. OK! Magazine says,

The handsome Michael Clayton star - who just happens to be best buds with Jen's ex Brad Pitt - sauntered up to the actress at last Saturday's Night Before gala in Beverly Hills, where she was busy chatting with BFF Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Orlando Bloom, Robert Downey Jr. and his wife, Susan, outside of Bar Nineteen12. "George attempted to be friendly, but Jen wasn't having it," one eyewitness tells OK!. "After enduring a few minutes of the actor's presence, Jen turned on her heels and made a beeline for the Sunset Ballroom, where most of the guests were mingling."

I think Jennifer is regretting the fact that she didn't have a threesome with Msrs. Pitt and Clooney when she had the chance... I mean... They're so pretty! I'd go gay for them! ... Actually I wouldn't... Because that would be kinda' gay. Why is it that when a girl says she'd go bi for some celeb all the males get erections, but when a guy does it it's all, "You're gay" and "I'll buy you lube" and "C'mon over to my house, matey"? Guys don't appreciate the masculine form... and neither do I... Obviously.

Well, yeah. I mean, which guy already warns his latest girlfriend that he's only in it for the short-term reasons and she musn't expect a wedding because he's a committmentphobe? And guess what? She still hasn't dumped him...on the other hand, it is George Clooney.

"I'm never at home and every woman gets sick of it. If I was them, I wouldn't put up with me for too long - and they don't. I wonder if I'm going to be relegated to three-year relationships for the rest of my life. My trouble is that I keep taking jobs that take me further away from home."

Excuses excuses, just admit it George. Just get married and suffer like the rest of them. Though I shouldn't be one to talk...I play hard to get and they totally disappear off the face of the planet. I think that might be my new secret talent...repelling any decent men.

(Along with Dame Helen Mirren) When the Birits were asked which actor and actress aged the best, it was an (almost) clean sweep for both the winners. George Clooney, was chosen by 32% of the populace as the best vintage, while Dame Helen Mirren outshone even him, with a vote of 34%. When asked as to who is the most talented upcoming actor and actress, the Brits packed their voting power behind the indigenous people of the Isles, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley (38% and 40% respectively). After this however the list seemed to go off into farce, as names like Jessica Alba and Mischa Barton popped up (6% and 1% by the way). You know how the Brits always try and act smarter than the Yanks? Well this poll truly shows that they're not the sharpest tools in the shed either... The fact that Jessica Alba made it onto a list that contains the word "talent" speaks volumes. Unless "talent" is followed by "... in taking of her clothes and showing off her great ass... I'd tap that... Yeah!"

Why can't I have a friend like George Clooney? Not only is he hot as hell, but he's so friggin' generous. Celebs are weird like that. Oh wait, he didn't give his friend his lakeside mansion...just lent it to them for their honeymoon. Hmmm, I guess that's still pretty generous. It's George's way to pay back pal Thom Mathews in who's walk-in closet he slept when he first moved to Hollywood. Wow, did all stars begin like this? His close friend is getting married, so George thought that his mansion in Italy would make a good wedding gift...wow, so they'll save on rent. Lucky them. Nice way to start a marriage...good wholesome cheapness.

But it does come from George Clooney. I don't know if he's worth that much though? You could do so many better and more noble things with that much money, like feed the poor, clothe the poor, give it to the poor...or buy 50 tons of chocolate and eat it in from of street kids. No, that's not cruel, I'm saving them from cavities, aren't I? I should get a medal! But for an AIDS benefit, one boyfriend payed $350 000 for a 7-day getaway cruise and got a peck from Goerge. Also she has the option to have a "special moment" with George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia or Don Cheadle. WHY ISN'T BRAD PITT IN THE LIST?!? Damn you Angelina!...and what's a special moment? How special can we make it? Will they charge me extra for hand-cuffs?

Well, not really, but stars Brad Pitt and Matt Damon are really getting into fatherhood and were discussing diapers on set. Brad has 4 kids with Angelina and Matt's wife just recently (and by recently I mean almost a year ago) gave birth to a baby girl. While the whole cast goes goo-goo, George Clooney is the only one without a child and I think he's happy that way. Can't wait for the next movie, they should call it the bunch of hot guys who do big cons and get away with millions in a very entertaining manner. Ok, so maybe Ocean's Thirteen is more catchy, but my title is more accurate.