SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Eva Longoria has recently been pictured with a suspicious inflated stomach which has obviously fueled speculation that the Desperate Housewives actress is pregnant.

Even though the actress has seen that she and husband Tony Parker would love to have kids, she has not confirmed that she is pregnant. I mean, Angelina Jolie was walking around with circus tent dresses and was obviously pregnant before she admitted that she was pregnant, so we may have to wait a while before we get any confirmation from Eva. Even then, Jack Black spilled the beans...

Her publicist says,

"We do not talk about clients' personal lives."

Then what the heck are they there for?

Your life falls apart! Well, maybe Thierry Henry leaving Arsenal has nothing to do with his marriage falling apart...but they may be a connection. Why do players always suck and get injured after leaving Arsenal? The curse of Arsenal, that's why. I really love my team... Anyways, the star footballer probably revealed the state of his marriage at the wedding of Eva Longoria and fellow Frenchman Tony Parker. Thierry arrived alone, with no explanation for his missing wife, Nicole Merry (Claire). I mean, couldn't Henry have made something up? "My wife didn't want to come because she was going to a models anonymous therapy for her inability to cook"? Yeah, that doesn't make sense, but it's an excuse. A statement by the player says:

"Thierry is extremely saddened by the breakdown of his marriage. "He is anxious to move on with his life and maintain the best possible relationship he can with Claire for the benefit of their daughter Tea, whom, he loves very much."

Tea? Who names their kid? Seriously, celebrities should be reported to child services for the ridiculous names they give their kids...that borders on child abuse, I'm sure!

Well, they're not here...but you can find them at thisislondon...I can't really steal them, I break enough copyright laws as it is. Newly married couple Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are back in the states after a long wedding celebration in France. She was pictured obviously very excited about her marriage, wearing a tracksuit with "Mrs Parker" embroidered in the front. Awww, that's so cute! Like a teenage girl who got her first boyfriend and is writing his and her names together all over her books. Eva was quite generous with her gifts, giving 18 carat gold bracelets to her guests, most of whom had flown in from AMerica for the big day. Eva says:

"It was so great - such a fun wedding. It's been one event after another. I'm tired."

Well, I guess that's a good way to remember the most momentous occasion of your life...fun!

After lots of boring stories, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have finally tied the knot. Yay for them...me, being the bitter hag that I am, have no good wishes for them, since I am unattached and not even close to marriage, even though I'm only 5 years younger than Tony Parker. They got married in a civil ceremony attended by friends and family, which was a small and simple affair, complete with limos and Chanel dresses. They will be spending their weekend at a chateaus...that will be their lavish wedding party. And now I'm off, have a great weekend, no updates from me, as I will be sitting on the beach...in the cold. Yeah, that doesn't sound like that much fun, really. Tomorrow is 07.07.07...very cool, in a numerical kind of way.

I'm so sorry about the lack of posts for the last two days...We got kidnapped by Aliens...I mean, our ISP screwed us...yeah, thats what they told us to tell you. Anyways, we'll be updating the whole day to make up for it and there will be updates tomorrow too, so yay for SoggyCornflakes!!! So, Eva Longoria is pissing everyone off because she can't make up her mind on her wedding details, and the organisers are annoyed that she keeps changing the flowers and having alterations on her dress every few days.

A source said: "The wedding is still very much on, but Eva is creating a lot of work for everyone. "She changed the flowers three times and her dress has been altered a couple of times. "Then there's the guest list, which is constantly under revision. I think everyone involved will be glad when Eva finally ties the knot."

Eva also felt the need to inform everyone that they're still having sex before the wedding. Yeah, like I really needed to know that. Do I care? Not really, I have bigger things to worry about, like getting my essay done on time. I hate varsity!

This would have been remotely interesting if...nah, there's no way this would have been interesting, but I can't find any ultra-cool and witty news, as you are used to on SoggyCornflakes...my apologies. So Eva Longoria didn't like a guy her friends set her up with, because he was "...rude, aggressive, presumptuous, scary, and to be honest he was a little bit odd." She doesn't understand why anyone would want to set her up with a gut like this. Maybe because you two were complete opposites? I think not. Maybe because you two were a perfect match...that sounds more plausible. Eva's luck to have friends like them, they tell her the truth without hurting her feelings too much... So blah, blah, Eva is tying the knot soon...not to this guy though, but they made such a cute couple!

You know, when I read the headline “Desperate Housewives Star enters Rehab”, I honestly thought it was Teri Hatcher or Eva Longoria. Teri could have turned to alcohol because she finally realised how terrible she looks of screen and wanted to numb the pain, and Eva could have started drinking because she was short…and short people get drunk after one glass, something to do with having so little blood, or such small feet…or some equally plausible theory made by Mr. Dude aka the big white bear that sleeps with me…and I don’t mean sleep like that! Sick perverts! The 28-year old actor, famous for playing gardener John in the hit TV show, has entered himself into a rehab facility to deal with alcohol issues, because he realised he has a problem and wanted to deal with it as soon as possible, after stories emerged that he had spent four consecutive days partying at Hollwood’s Mondrian Hotel. My stories today seem to be drinking related…Alcohol is bad, people! It makes you do things that you normally wouldn’t do…like eat anchovies…or kiss your cousin…or hitting on the guy with the harelip and uni-brow because he’s so damn hot!