SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Harry Potter star, Emma Watson, is set to recieve the $20,000,000 she has amassed over 5 crap Harry Potter films, playing the equally crap Hermione Granger.

Watson who turned 18 on April 15, was forced to take a crash course in money management and was only allowed to take control of the money if she allowed four senior managers to scrutinize her expenses.

A source close to Emma says,

“The idea is for the money to grow and safeguard her future - not be blown in a couple of years of high-living,”

… Stuff like this makes me hate life… More than I already do, I mean.

… Just because you have mousy hair and are English (And are devoid of any acting talent whatsoever), you get the chance to play a character in a series of movies that were destined to be hits even if the lead roles were played by Lepers…

Still… At least I have my Xbox.

No… Wait… I don’t. That was a dream I had last night. I’m still poor.

Still at least I have a girlfriend, unlike this desperate fellow.

… No… I don’t. Another dream. Damn you subconscious! Damn you to hell!

Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson were spotted out together on Valentine’s day at an exclusive London pub. The two arrived 10pm at the Imperial Arms, Fulham, West London - A pub close to Radcliffe’s house.

An onlooker tells the mirror…

“They arrived quite late at the pub - about 10pm - and sat outside, using each other’s bodies for warmth.

“Emma, who was wearing a black top and matching pashmina, kept looking over her shoulder nervously as if she didn’t wanted to be recognised. When people started to notice the couple and began pointing, she wrapped her scarf around her head so only her eyes were peeping out.

“Daniel found her new look hysterical and started laughing. Throughout the night, in fact, he just kept giggling like a love-struck teen.

“The pair seemed totally absorbed in one another’s company, though - they were chatting and joking easily until just before closing time.

“They then left the pub, heads together and whispering, and headed in the direction of Daniel’s home nearby.”

*SPOILER ALERT*

That’s not how it’s supposed to be! No! No! No!

Hermione is supposed to be dating, marrying and making babies with Ron! Someone should have slapped that…

… I mean… I haven’t ever read Harry Potter books… Or watched the movies… Or collected the action figures… Because I’m so cool… and busy… doing stuff… with women…

So… I don’t really care… about… the people from Harry Potter… at all… not even a little bit.

Emma Watson is not impressed by the fake profiles made of her on MySpace, Facebook and other social networking sites. She says she doesn’t have an official page, neither does she use the net alot because she considers it scary, but she rather prefers her cell phone to keep in touch with her friends and with Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint.

She says, “Oh no, (the Facebook profile) is fake. I have got fakes on Facebook, Bebo, MySpace - the lot - and it’s quite annoying.

“I can’t understand why people put themselves on there. Some of the pictures that they put up of themselves make them vulnerable because anyone can see. I think the internet is very scary”.

Meanwhile Watson admits she relies on her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint for advice on boys.

The young actress is a self-proclaimed ‘mad texter’ on her mobile phone in order to keep up with friends while she is away shooting the epic wizard movies.

She says, “I am always texting Dan and Rupert when we are not working. And we are always swapping girl and boy advice when we’re together. It’s quite funny - I am like, ‘Oh, I have got this text from a boy, what on earth do I say? What does this translate to in boy language? I don’t understand,’ and they will be like, ‘Well, this means this.’ “I have got my own personal on-set boy text”

Sweet, one big happy family joined by the superficial blockbuster that is Harry Potter. You know Hermione is going to die in the last book, you just know it. Ron too.

Child actress Emma Watson (who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies) has reportedly been throwing her weight around the set. She reportedly asked new director David Yates if she was contractually obliged to do so many takes, since Yates prefers doing around 30 takes for every scene. He nicely told her “yes” and she was supposed to get it right.

Well, I blame Warner Bros., they brought this upon themselves by running after 16-year-olds with wads of cash. It was reported before that Emma was going to leave, but Warner Bros. brought her back with a $2 million contract. It’s so cool, that with 6 digits, anyone will agree to anything.

For anyonw who’s worrying about the cast of the Harry Potter movies, no worries people, you all can sleep easy as all three of the main actors have pledged their loyalty to the movie, espire reports to the contrary. Daneil Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) and Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) have all signed on to the last two movies and will stay until the end.

“I feel a huge sense of loyalty to the character of Harry and the fans who have supported these films over the years,” says Daniel.

“I could never let Hermione go, I love her too much and love what playing her has meant to me. I’m excited and honoured to be finishing what I started.” says Emma

Rupert says he “loved every second of being part of [Harry Potter's] world.”

So there’s your qoutes, are you happy now? Harry Potter lives!

Hermione, no dammit…Emma Watson, her name is Emma Watson! Emma Watson, the actress who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies was reported to have not signed a new contract, leaving Warner Bros without Hermione for their last two movies. This report has contradicted by a Warner Bros representative that says he’s sure Emma will return for the last two movies.

Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint have already finalised their contracts, but Emma’s is still in the works, which could have set off her rumours for leaving the cast.

Wow, that’s great news. I’m so relieved, I was haunted for months with nightmares that kept asking me the question “What will happen if Harry, Ron or Hermione quit?”, “What would happen if Warner Bros gave up on the movie?”, how would any of us survive? But I know the truth now, Hermione stays and the world will stay safe.

If she was getting stalked, why didn’t she just pull out her wand and cast a spell on the stalker? I’m sure he was a Muggle…filthy things, but how did he even get into Hogwarts? No spell can cross its boundaries. I’m so glad Hermione is safe; I just know that she’ll protect Harry from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

After all, Harry Potter is real life, isn’t it? Unicorns and Centaurs really do exist, don’t they? WHAT?!? They don’t?! You’re lying!!! Hermione and Harry and Ron are real! You mean I cried for nothing when Dumbledore died? Oh, it’s a movie? That wasn’t a documentary? Emma Watson? Who’s she? Oh, Hermione?

Ok, so maybe I was a bit confused, Emma Watson is the actress who plays Hermione, and she was recently stalked at her school from an over-zealous fan who wanted to talk with her. The police were informed and a bodyguard was hired for her well-being.

I was just reading up on Emma, she’s supposed to be ultra-brainy, just like Hermione. She’s pretty when her hair isn’t frizzy, just like Hermione. She says guys are intimidated by her, just like Hermione. In fact, I think she IS Hermione! I knew you were lying…aaah, you had me good there, I nearly believed you. Next thing you’ll tell me that the Easter Bunny was eaten and Santa Clause was sodomised by a gay naughty kid, but I won’t believe you, no I won’t! Miss Sceptical is my name.