SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Looks like the models are taking over... another model post. Still, I'd much rather write about models than about Lindsay Lohan. It's more fun when you have to think of something to say, rather than make another drunk joke. Moving on... Hilary Rhoda has *officially* been unveiled as the new face of Estee Lauder. The 5'11 model (5'11? Am I supposed to think that's hot? Like "Hey Man, Check out that chick! She's hot! I can only see up to her chin though... I'm bitter because I'm short) replaces Elizabeth Hurley. You know what's cool about her? She went to an Catholic All Girls School (So either she's repressed or a nympho... both are great!). You know what sucks about her? She's too tall (Still bitter). PS: She was 12th on the rich models thing...

Who would have thought that acting like a celebrity makes you vulnerable to jail time? Some people only get it now that Elizabeth Hurley is not an Indian bride and Arun Nayar is a NRI (Non-Resident Indian) which makes him as Indian as a caramel Twinkie. But anyways, people are getting pissed off because Arun and Liz went against Hindu traditions and used the marraige as a showing-off session rather than any form of traditional enlightenment or showing respect to Indian culture. It was reported that they both drank before the ceremony (and I don't mean Pepsi either), Liz was wearing leather shoes (Indian's consider cows sacred, for those who don't get it...she might wanna consider getting a clue too) and kissed near the sacred fire. They also sat on the sofa when they were supposed to sit on the floor...that I'll condone. Don't Indian's get it that sitting on the floor gives you vericose viens?

"Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar insulted Hindu tradition and I want them to be severely punished," Vishnu Khandelwal, a devout Hindu who runs a printing press, told AFP Tuesday. The court has already heard from two witnesses, including Khandelwal, and will hear testimony from at least three more, including a Hindu priest, said lawyer Saraswat.

And Arun's angry daddy is also willing to testify against his son...wow, talk about issues. While I watch this stupid saga unfold, I just want to thank the dude who was filling in for me yesterday (it was one of the madmen from www.soggycornflakes.com/sports) because I was busy making cookies for my teacher...wait, I mean, because I spent the night in jail...yeah, that sounds cool enough. I spent the night in jail for beating up a pink monkey...yeah, that also makes alot of sense.

Elizabeth Hurley already broke the code of being a respectful Indian wife when her new In-Laws reported that they were treated rudely at the lavish wedding between her and Arun Nayar. The parents of Arun, Vinod and Joanne Nayar felt that they were pushed into the background during the wedding and treated like poor relations. Vinod says that he's breaking off ties with Arun after writing him a letter about their disrespectful treatment during the ceremony. I could write an essay about this, how Arun is ashamed of his own roots by ignoring the Indian relatives at his wedding and especially his parents, who are respected in Indian culture and who are usually at the forefront of wedding celebrations...but I'm not trying to put you all to sleep. so let's change the topic... So how was everyone's weekend?

Ok, maybe this isn’t very celebrity gossip-y news, but it’s interesting. The vicar who married Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar last month had no idea who the stars were in the congregation. He didn’t recognise anyone besides Elton John. Let’s see…member of the infamous clergy…does not know any celebrities including supermodel Elle Macphearson, but knows that most famous gay singer in the history of gay singers. Connection? I think not. That would be just too obvious.

Liz Hurleys beach party was a wash out (get it? beach? washout? Pun SO intended) after local inhabitants decided to dismember a wooden enclosure that was built for her wedding celebrations. The reason? It was built on public property... Anyway, lets get down to the real issues 1. Why is Liz Hurley getting married in a wooden hut? 2. Why is Liz Hurley with this guy? I heard than he actually wanted a part in Dawn of the dead, but the director was all like, "EEEEWWWW GROSS. Man, No-one will believe zombies are that icky!". FACT. Except that it's not. And I'm a liar. But maybe not. UPDATE: He's rich. Whoop de Doo. So is my Mum's chocolate cake. I don't marry it. We just have casual and mutually pleasing make out sessions.

Liz Hurley isn't happy with just getting a monkey from Hugh Grant, now she wants wedding guests to bring live animals as wedding gifts for her marraige to Arun Nayar. She says that they'll be starting up the farm-house where they'll be living.

"It's the best thing I've ever done. It's the only place I want to be. When we get our organic status we're going to farm properly and we're going to have a herd of cows and proper sheep and proper chickens, and we're going to have Gloucestershire Old Spot pigs. Arun thought I was joking when he saw me slither into my Wellington boots!"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wedding presents are usually things like sandwich makers and cappucino machines, you know, things that help you make foods rather than gifts that are food! You might as well give them a huge salami with a cows face painted on it. MOOOOOOO!

Hugh Grant is giving his ex-girlfriend and her husband-to-be a monkey for their impeding wedding. He's also an usher at the wedding, and will also give some sad little speech. A friend is quoted to have said

"Hugh will be like a co-host alongside the best man on the day. He will be making a speech - but pointedly it will be clean. It will be a comedy turn, but there will be no smutty little asides of innuendoes about the relationship they had all those years. "

Oh C'MON!!! Where's the fun if he doesn't mention the fact that he did it with Liz Hurley like, loads of times? Here's his speech for you, or how I see it. "Ever since I've known Liz, and believe me, I know her very well -wink wink-, I've known what makes her happy, I know all her Ins and Outs -nudge nudge-. Today, she's here with this dark fellow, and I know why she's marrying him...he's rich...HAHAHAHA (posh British giggle) No, I'm just joking of course. Lizzy is marrying this man because he makes her happy, because she needs a man in her life who doesn't cheat on her, like I did. Liz, I just want yooiu to know, I'm here for you always, especially when Nayar is out of town, just like old times! -Wink wink, nudge nudge- Seriously, how uncannily accurate is that? I got the prissy British accent down flat!