SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

God, celebrities are full of shit. Wild-child Charlotte Church has defended Britney Spears, saying that the has-been popstar is allowed to have fun, even after motherhood.

"If you're a woman, you're supposed to stay sober until your kids grow up. That's not fair. Just because Britney has the odd night on the lash (out drinking) doesn't make her a bad mum. She's still allowed to have a good time every now and again. It would be different if it was every night."

Well, it wasn’t the fact that Britney was drinking while she was a mum, it was more the fact that Britney doesn’t have the IQ to hold her baby properly…or sing…or speak. But thanks Charlotte, we now know what we can expect from you when you become a mum. I guess I better go put Child-services on my speed dial…just in case, you know.

Shame, the poor knocked-up singer is fearful that her first child will be born into the world while his dad Gavin Henson is playing in the rugby World Cup. Contact Music reports:

The 21-year-old singer-turned-TV presenter is due to give birth to her first child later this year (07) and is dreading being without Wales star Henson and her mother Maria - who recently moved to France to start a new life. Maria tells Closer magazine, "I bought the house in France before Charl got pregnant and had always planned for a life in the sun. When the baby comes Charl will need our help and we may move back. New mums tend to need their own mum around."

No I'm tired. I require nourishment and I go out to seek it. Farewell good friends.

You know how fun it is to imagine celebrities as pregnant, obese, promiscuous, obsessive compulsive and whatever else anyone wants to imagine, but the laws in Britain are being upheld to stop too much speculation. This stringent outburst came after The Sun reported singer Charlotte Church as being pregnant before she gave any official announcement.

The Press Complaints Commission upheld a complaint from the singer and TV presenter that the newspaper had invaded her privacy by speculating that she was pregnant prior to the 12-week scan at which it is considered safe by doctors to tell family and friends. A spokesman for the self-regulatory body said the ruling clarified the restrictions on speculation of this kind because it made it clear that newspapers were expected to uphold the spirit as well as the letter of the PCC code. After approaching the singer's PR agent with "firm information" that she was pregnant, the newspaper was told it was a private matter, that she was "not more than 12 weeks' pregnant" and that, if she was, a statement would be issued after the 12-week period was up. Nevertheless, the Sun went ahead and published an article headlined "Baby rumours for sober Church" that it said had been prompted by "a very public change in behaviour when it

Yeah, well, read through the boring quote to make sense of what I'm saying...my head hurts, it's been a long day. I had to listen to sick stories about friggin' sick, dysfunctional and twisted people...and no, I'm not talking about Britney Spears.

I know pregnant women get fat and have cravings, but Charlotte Church seems to be coming all out. Her mummy is reporting that Charlotte is addicted to pizza and has to eat some everyday, a slice at all meals. The “Voice of an Angel” star is pregnant with boyfriend Gavin Henson’s baby. Charlotte, I know you think you can work this out after the baby is born but that thing is gonna be born a blob. It won’t drink milk like normal babies, it’ll want cheese in a can/ Girl, if you wanna have a career after this, lay off the junk. Better yet, send it to me…I’m having a bit of a pizza craving right now too. Mmmm, Pizza!

I had the choice to write between Halle Berry saying that she’ll never marry again and breaking the hearts of most straight guys out there and Charlotte Church saying that she won’t marry her boyfriend and father of her baby Gavin Henson that no one really cares about, but I thought I’d be different and write about a story I missed yesterday (by the way, apologies to everyone who reads this for not updating yesterday…I was kidnapped by aliens and they only brought me back today…did I tell you Venus looks like the back of my closet? Honestly) Oh, back to my story, I will be writing about Ryan Phillippe and his maybe new hook-up Ashley Simpson. Ryan met Ashlee at LA nightclub Les Deux which means See Two, according to my Encarta dictionary…See Two? Is that a guarantee that they’ll get you so hammered that you’ll have double vision by the time you leave? Cool. Basically, it says that Ryan seemed to hit it off with Ashlee; they had a make-out session somewhere after which the two emerged dishevelled. It was then reported that they left separately, but Ryan went to her place where he spent the night. Ryan’s representatives deny the allegations and say that Ryan barely knows Ashlee except for a brief introduction at the club. Who to believe, who to believe? I think I’ll trust the source, because sources are always accurate, or at least that’s what they tell us at varsity, and even if it’s the waitress’s boyfriend’s little brother’s dog who gave the report, you just know that he’s right. Here Doggy, doggy! Nice Doggy.