SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Britney Spears, former pop princess, and evidence of the theory that too much McDonald’s is bad for you, is thought to be mentally unstable by her friends (A select group of 4 people… all paid of course).

One friend told US Weekly magazine:

“It’s not substance abuse - it’s mental!

“Postpartum has always been a problem after giving birth to Sean and Jayden.”

There’s a shock… Who’d have thought Britney Spears is crazy? I mean… she seems so normal. I mean… who doesn’t enjoy flashing their genitalia when they get out of their cars? And who doesn’t like the Neo-Nazi look? And who doesn’t lose their children to an unemployed father whose claim to fame is being a backup dancer?

Shocking!

Note: I think I’ve been over exposed to Britney. I promise that there will be no more posts on Britney on this blog for at least three days. (I hope)

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Britney Spears former assistant yesterday told the press that Britney has devoted a shrine to the greatness that is… Keven Federline… No… you read that right… you can check again if it makes you feel better.

Britney also regularly cried uncontrollably after K.Fed left her.

Kalie Machado (The assistant) says,

Britney kept her wedding dress in a case on the wall in the entrance of her Malibu house. She kept all Kevin’s clothes and she would wander into his wardrobe looking at them. You could say it was a shrine to him. She was incredibly sad and lonely while I was with her. I could tell she desperately wanted him back. She’d burst into tears when he wouldn’t return her calls. She’d cry at night a lot.”

Wow. How amazingly sad. And by sad, I don’t mean boohoo sad. I mean, “I feel like kicking you in your face over and over again” sad.

K.Fed should just take her back. Who else would worship a pathetic unshaven loser, whose only claim to fame is the fact that he managed to release one of the worst albums of all time and knock up two losers (Twice each)?

Oh wait! Don’t forget he was a backup dancer for Britney! I think he was the loser on the far right of the screen… there! There! I think I just saw his arm!

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Remember the time, when Britney Spears was considered the “hot one” and Christina Aguilera was the “weird emo chick with a nice rack and sexy legs”? Oh, how times change. Since Britney’s marriage to K.Fed, Christina has just gotten hotter (Or maybe it’s because of her weird looking husband. She looks hot in comparison when she’s standing next to him.) while Britney has become… that weird fat thing at the VMA’s.

Anyway, Christina Aguilera obviously a big believer in kicking a dog when it’s down says to Glamour, in reference to Britney’s brilliant “performance” at the VMA’s,

“Everyone has their own ways of choosing what’s best for them. I have no problem with telling someone, ‘Hey, I have to do a show tomorrow. I want to do a good job and be on my game’.

Sometimes I wish I could go out to a party or a club and just be able to be free, but there’s a consequence with the temptation. You know you’ll feel it the next day when you wake up. There are too many things I have to accomplish.”

Wow that’s harsh. It would be less mean if she broke a puppy’s legs and then placed fireworks in it’s heinie and lit them. And then ate it.

Yeah… Christina Aguilera is mean.

PS: The above picture is my tribute to Britney that once was. I’m sentimental. I cried when Care Bears Highlander was canceled.

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Yippee! More Britney Spears news. It seems God decided we haven’t been nauseated enough today.

Anyway.

Britney Spears defended her parenting “skills” in a radio interview with American Idol host Ryan Seacrest.

When asked if she felt she was doing all she could for her children, Britney replied,

“Oh, God yeah. It’s sad, how cruel the world can be. At the end of the day, you’ve just got to know in your heart you’re doing the best you can, I try not to let it get to me.”

You know what else is sad, Britney? The fact that you’re richer than me. Way richer than me. Without having any discernable talent. I mean. I’m as big a fan of “boob judging” as anyone else, but this is just ridiculous.

I mean… You’d think Studio’s would have better selection criteria than, “Oh look, you have perky breasts! Let’s give you a record deal… 100 million a year you think?”.

FUN FACT: The last 25 Comments on this blog, were either Claire or ummm… me replying to Claire. Thanks you guys. It’s nice to see you care… Comment Misers!

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Britney Spears, was supposedly pregnant at the start of the year reports the ever reliable National Enquirer. The problem was, that no one knew who’s baby it was.

Britney tried to pass it off as K.Fed’s, who basically just laughed at her and called her a whore. Kinda.

A source tells the National Enquirer,

“Kevin knew Britney was with other men and at the same time having sex with him to try to win him back. He told Britney that he couldn’t forgive her.”

In case you were wondering who else she was shagging at the time, it was JRRotem, IsaacCohen, BlakeMcGrath, MarioLopez and KevinFederline… phew… If you say it fast, you don’t feel that dirty.

Still. It shows how far Britney has fallen in the small matter of, what? 3 years?

3 Years ago every guy (The straight ones) would have sold their parents souls to Satan to get into Britney’s pants. Now she can’t even get K.Fed to admit that he stuck his unprotected phallus into her.

I mean… he’s a hobo right?

Hobo’s will admit anything. Like how Jack admitted I was with him the night Lenny died. Isn’t that right, Jack?

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Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed your weekend. I enjoyed sitting miserably for 48 hours, on my table reading piles of crap law notes, all the while preparing for the inevitable crushing failure.

Anyway, 1 post today because I have another opportunity to fail tomorrow.

Britney Spears was allegedly spotted giving a lapdance to Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback, Tomy Romo.

Romo, who has previously been linked with Carrie Underwood and Sophia Bush seemed to be… uggghhh *shiver* …. enjoying the attention.

Said Ryan Seacrest,

“I spoke to her for a minute. She seemed to be in a very, very good mood. She had her sunglasses on. I said, ‘Busy day, huh?’ She kind of smiled and laughed and said, ‘Yeah.’ And then I believe I saw her and Tony Romo frolicking.”

“Lap dancing?” a co-host asked.

“I mean some would say,” Seacrest said.

“She’s on his lap,” the co-host continued.

“Yeah,” Seacrest replied.

Wow… This guys standards are slipping. From Sophia Bush and Carrie Underwood to Britney Spears? If he doesn’t watch out he might end up having sex with coke cans. You know… when you cut a hole in the top and fill it up with vaseline and it’s so so great… ummm… That’s how I heard they do it… from a friend… He told me. A friend told me he has sex with Coke cans.

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Care to guess which one she’s more excited about?

The wreck that is Britney Spears somehow managed to regain visitation rights, despite her most earnest efforts.

People Magazine reports,

The singer on Saturday was spotted driving with her children in Studio City, Calif., in her white Mercedes convertible, which was decorated with pumpkins on the dashboard. A presumed court-appointed monitor was seated in the front seat, with her sons in the rear

Britney also got new lips this weekend (On her face perv!), apparently injecting them full of collagen. However she was apparently shy to show the pillowy goodness of her lips, covering them up with her hands when the paps approached.

…

Good for Britney! It’s been a long time since she’s had a good weekend. I’d guess her last good weekend was a couple of years ago when there was the two for the price of one special at McDonalds. Good times.

NOTE: What’s that you ask? It’s collagen. Here at SoggyCornflakes we believe in teh value of science in our readers lives… Wait! Where’re you going?!

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Britney Spears has had her visitation rights suspended, until she complies with court orders.

TMZ.com reports,

The order by L.A. County Commissioner Scott Gordon came after K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, went to court yesterday for an emergency hearing. The order reads, “Petitioner’s (Britney’s) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending Petitioner’s compliance with the court orders.” Brit’s next shot at getting the kids is October 26, when she’s been ordered back to court.”

No one can tell me that Britney didn’t want this.

You know I think Britney might be an evil genius. Everyone knew she was going to lose the kids, but she carried on partying because “She was so worried that she would lose the kids”. Then when the kids were supposed to visit her she refused to open the gate. What’s the bets she misses the October 26 hearing?

While we’re all here laughing at Britney, she’s probably sitting on one of those chairs that can spin around stroking a hairless cat, while laughing evilly. Maybe that’s why she went bald… To get the authentic look.

Enough of this fantasy world.

Britney’s stupid. If she turned out to have an IQ a point above 65, my whole world would collapse and I’d be sucked into a black whole.

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Britney Spears turned up at a Los Angeles police station and turned herself in for charges of hit and run and driving without a license.

The AP Reports,

Officer Mike Lopez said Spears turned herself in around 9 p.m. and left about 45 minutes later. Spears was fingerprinted and photographed, he said.

“She was fine, cooperative,” Lopez said. “She did her business and came out.”

It’s nice to see the LA Police force working so hard. I suppose they just sit inside their Police stations waiting for criminals to show up? And then maybe once in a while they send a lone ranger outside to buy Donuts?

That makes me feel safe.

Mainly because I don’t live there.

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Yesterday Britney Spears and her little sister, Jamie Lynn, were getting sushi when a short rude lady rushed at them screaming “Nobody wants you in this neighborhood! You’re making the neighborhood unsafe!” The paparazzi defended Britney by yelling at the woman, and then Jamie-Lynn stepped in and shouted in her face, “Then move the fuck out of the neighborhood!”

She than ran behind the group of paps instead of facing of to a women that looked like she’s be comfortable in a coffin. She left from the back door of the restaurant.

Charming. If you needed proof that class is hereditary than look at the Spears.

Britney who’s a model mum. And Zoey… I mean Jamie Lynn… who screams at retirees.

I wonder what the mum does… Shoot Vietnam veterans?

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