SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Well, obviously she is or why would she mind that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie brought the paparazzi to Chicago and they don’t want to hear her whining about how American’s are so much better than the British. Ummm, the British have cool accents, Americans make me wanna rip my arm off and beat you with it until you shut up!

“When Brad and Angelina leave, won’t they [paparazzi] go, too?”

“Don’t you think they sort of blow in and out with the celebs?”

So does this stem from the fact that Gweneth is jealous because she couldn’t keep Brad (they were engaged once upon a time, before anyone really cared) or because no-ones paying attention to her? I think it has to be the former, since no-one ever pays attention to her. She can’t still be bitter about that.

I’m sure Chicago is your haven away from the paparazzi Gwen. Yes, they do hide in the bushes and take their shots. Yes, those pictures never appear in any tabloids because you have friends in high places. Yes, Tom Cruise really isn’t gay. Just keep telling yourself that.

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It’s reported today that Jennifer Aniston sent a message to to former hubby Brad Pitt saying, “See – I told you so”, on what the actor faces now with a self-admitted “moody” Angelina Jolie.

The message came after Brad had discouraged Aniston from avoid visiting his mum, due to it irritating Jolie.

Tiffany Law, (apparently) a close friend of Jennifer Aniston, revealed,

“Jen felt all along that Brad’s new romance may not be all it was cracked up to be. The news that Brad and Ange are reportedly on the rocks come as no shock. Jen told Brad: ‘You have made your bed – now you have to lie in it’. Angelina has started to boss Brad around in a way Jen never did.”

There’s a shock! Jennifer Aniston whining! Who would believe that?!

I mean with her great cinematic career that includes masterpieces like Along came Polly and Leprechaun, you’d think she’d be too busy to be bitter. What with all the hard work that goes into all those Oscar winning roles.

I guess not.

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Angelina Jolie has gone baby mad and wants to adopt another child from Nigeria, to balance her family out. Because apparently daughter Zahara has nowhere to look for her roots and place within the family.

A close source (of course it’s a close source, it’s never the bellman’s cousin twice-removed) says:

“Brad and Angelina have made no secret of the fact they are keen to extend their rainbow family.”

“Angelina, in particular, feels very strongly that while Shiloh will grow up seeing the family resemblances between herself and her natural parents, and Maddox and Pax will have a connection through their birthplaces, Zahara has no such close-knit bond. Brad and Angelina hope that by finding a brother or sister for her, it will help Zahara feel more comfortable and happy in her own skin, and also bring them closer together.”

Poor poor Zahara, all alone surrounded by the white man. I hope the new kid is like Stewie…bent on world domination and killing his mother. It’s like Chucky, except way cooler. Like without the swear words…swearing isn’t cool man, it just isn’t.

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That’s just for the record and the official news from Angelina Jolie as rumours were abound that the pair had split up and were just together for the sake of their four kids. Angelina says the two have alot of trust and faith in each other and that’s why they’re staying together. Also because Brad Pitt is hot as hell and as long as he stays like that, they’ll stay a couple.

“He lets me talk to whoever I want. He was complete blind faith in me.”

But maybe Angelina isn’t the dominatrix in this relationship and she says that she did have to make some sacrifices to stay with Brad.

“I’ve never hidden my bisexuality. But since I’ve been with Brad, there’s no longer a place for that or S+M in my life.”

Um, when you have Brad Pitt in your life, I’d think that everyone else fell away. Just you, him and some chocolate body paint…ahem. Excuse me, I think I need a break…someone get me some really cold coke! Now!

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How weird, the rest of us use chocolate to dim the pain when someone break’s our heart, but Jennifer Aniston apparently feels better by twisting her body and breathing deeply. Oh well, whatever works for you.

Jen was completely devestated when her marriage to Brad Pitt fell apart (and who wouldn’t be? The guy was that hot!) and felt that the only way to let out her anguish was to cry to Alicia Keys and meditate. She says it was better than therapy. Well, chocolate is good to…excpet it makes you fat…so maybe Jen is on to something here.

Guy breaks your heart + yoga = looking so good that he’ll be regretting it for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, she was up against Angelina Jolie…I thing chances of guilt-trips by Brad are considerably lower.

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Angelina Jolie cannot be happy about that…I did read somewhere that she told Brad Pitt if he took their daughter to meet Jennifer Aniston again, their relationship would be over.

A source tells British magazine Heat, “They met for just over an hour. It was very emotional. Jen held the baby and called her ‘adorable’.” The pair have reportedly stayed in contact since, with a series of email conversations. The source adds, “They are trying to be adult about the whole thing. Now that they have properly moved on, they can move towards building a friendship.”

That’s nice…oh, and Brad wasn’t trying to hide the meeting or anything, because he took the nanny and maid with. Why does a little kid need a maid? Doesn’t the nanny do that stuff? Wow, the life of the rich and famous…I don’t have anyone…just 250g of chocolate to keep me happy…that works better than a nanny, I’m sure!

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Or so they say. With her being so pregnant, I can’t see the hotness beyond her bulging tummy…but maybe they have a point about that motherly glow…maybe everyone sees that and that’s why they call her sexy.

In an internet poll:

The top fifteen sexy celebrities - and the percentage of the population who found them sexy - is as follows: 1 Salma Hayek - 65 per cent 2. Jessica Alba - 64 per cent 2. Carmen Electra - 64 per cent 4. Shakira - 63 per cent 5. Halle Berry - 59 per cent 5. Beyonce Knowles - 59 per cent 5. Eva Longoria - 59 per cent 8. Catherine Zeta-Jones - 57 per cent 9. Jessica Biel - 56 per cent 9. Elizabeth Hurley - 56 per cent 9. Raquel Welch - 56 per cent 12. Jennifer Lopez - 54 per cent 12. Alyssa Milano - 54 per cent 14. Pamela Anderson - 53 per cent 14. Angelina Jolie - 53 per cent

Wow, Angelina got beat.

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Not really news, more like random information that I feel like telling you about celebrities.

Angelina Jolie says that she communicates best with partner Brat Pitt when she is taking a bath.

“I don’t know how he does it, but … I talk a lot in the bath…It’s easier to talk when you’re naked… Get naked with me, and I’ll talk!”

Well, we always knew Angelina had exhibitionist tendencies and this just proves it. She also talks about what a great father Brad is. Why is she telling us? We know that!

“I’m so happy for my children – especially Mad. I didn’t know if he was ever going to have a dad. So when I watch them having real strong father-son time, or even when Mad tells me, ‘This is a boy thing, Mom’ – it’s just really beautiful to see…I think we both went on a lot of faith – we really did. Our family has grown very quickly, and we have a lot of responsibility together, and we acknowledge that we are lucky we turned out be for each other everything we’d hoped,”

Yeah, and now I’m done for today. Time to study!

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Remember when I reported that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were getting married? Then I reported that they weren’t? Then I reported that they still weren’t? Now I’m reporting (again) that they’re tying the knot. Now Brad and Angie? Just do the deed and stop screwing my blog up! I’m tired of being an unreliable blogger!

Reports are coming in from very reliable sources (meaning Angelina’s mother’s butler’s mother-in-law) who says that Engie has finally bucked to Brad’s pressure and has agreed to get get married (Note to men: If you ask enough, the answer will eventually become yes. “Please?” “No” “Pretty please?” “No!” “Please, please, please, please, please?” “NO!” “I’ll give you a 10 carat ring.” “Ok!”)

A source told Grazia magazine: “Angelina has been reluctant to get married for a third time, for obvious reasons.

“Brad has been persistent and has now given in, but she wants the day to be really memorable. While she doesn’t want it to be unnecessarily lavish, that’s not her style, it will still be an event Hollywood will never forget.

“She also wants their children to see it as a huge celebration of her and Brad’s love for them. The daytime part of the celebration will be for the kids, with clowns and balloons and fire-eaters. But then the real party will begin in the evening.”

So Angie’s wedding doesn’t sound too lavish…I wish them all the best…again.

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But it does come from George Clooney. I don’t know if he’s worth that much though? You could do so many better and more noble things with that much money, like feed the poor, clothe the poor, give it to the poor…or buy 50 tons of chocolate and eat it in from of street kids. No, that’s not cruel, I’m saving them from cavities, aren’t I? I should get a medal!

But for an AIDS benefit, one boyfriend payed $350 000 for a 7-day getaway cruise and got a peck from Goerge. Also she has the option to have a “special moment” with George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia or Don Cheadle. WHY ISN’T BRAD PITT IN THE LIST?!? Damn you Angelina!…and what’s a special moment? How special can we make it? Will they charge me extra for hand-cuffs?

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