SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Brazilian supermodel, Alessandra Ambrosio, has announced that she is expecting her first child with (*sob*) Jamie... In case you haven't guessed... I'm not Jamie (*sob*). (By the way... *sob*... means my tears of anguish... I'm not calling Jamie a son of a... y'know... Although I think it is quite an apt description of the man.) The Victoria Secret model writes on her blog,

"I would like to announce some really great news! My boyfriend (*sob*) Jamie and I were surprised in the beginning of the year with some delightful news that we are expecting our first child together! "This is a dream come true and a really special moment in our lives! I'm very happy to say that our baby looks healthy (in hospital scans) and that we are really excited to be mom and dad and raising a child together."

(That *sob* wasn't really in the original post... I just put it there to capture the extent of my anguish) ... You know... It's always nice when people are pregnant (*sob*)... but why did she have to break the news like this? "I would like to announce some really great news!" ?!!! What's wrong with you woman!? Don't you realize that I can never go into the bathroom with a magazine that has your face on it ever again?! I feel so guilty looking at other people's mums. Jamie Mazur you fool with your sh*t denim jeans! Haven't you heard of a condom?! (If you haven't guessed the fornicator sells jeans at campuses all over America)

Horse faced supermodel, Gisele Bundchen, is reportedly refusing to take payments in American Dollars while the currency remains weak. The Dollars has lost 34% of its value since 2001 and is at an all time low against the Euro, Pound and Canadian Dollar (I think... Don't look at me like that! I don't do Economics... Wait. I do. Don't look at me like that! I don't pass Economics!). Gisele's sister and manager said,

"Contracts starting now are more attractive in euros because we don't know what will happen to the dollar."

How the hell does this chick get away with demanding money to take her clothes off? I mean... she has no curves, no ass and looks like a man... If his mother were a horse. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people that say "Super models are so ugly, they look like men and have no curves or ass"... I mean, I'd jump Allesandra Ambrosio like there were no tomorrow .. It's just that... Gisele looks like a man and has no curves and no ass. She was hot like... 7 Years ago. Now she's just... mannish. And how dare she insult the Dollar! Here I am waiting for a google check (In Dollars) and she's all "Not good enough". Well La Di Da Da your majesty... Cow. I guess that's the difference between a two bit blogger and a super model. Even if the super model has no curves, no ass and looks like a man. I mean to be repetitive, by the way. Repetition is the mother of skill... and of brain washing! Ha! I mind raped you all!!! NOTE: I really apologize for the bad grammar (earlier) today. I think I fixed it all. Not to worry people. I just have one exam left and than I'm home free!!!

Brazilian model, Gisele Bundchen, topped Forbes 2007 list of richest models (Models who earned the most this year). She earned a staggering 33 million dollars. More than triple the earnings of second placed Kate Moss (who earned 9 million). The rest of the top 5 consisted of Heidi Klum ($8 million), Adriana Lima ($6 million) and Alessandra Ambrosio ($6 million). ... So... They get paid to publicly prance around in their underwear? But when I do it, suddenly it's all, "Put your clothes Back on" and "You dirty Pervert!". Where's the justice in the world?