Ukranian’s have become the latest victim of “Simpson-Mania” joining Tony Romo and the hobo on the street who agreed to say “I love Jessica Simpson” for 10 Dollars (He drove a hard bargain… He wanted a 100 but I wore him down with my master negotiating skills… I still think he robbed me though… It’s sounded suspiciously like Jessi Klingon… But I guess drunk people can’t speak that clearly.), Simpson’s latest movie Blonde Ambition scored the number 1 spot in Ukraine beating out the likes of No Country for Old Men and Fools Gold.
Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, told People.

“The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies, When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like ‘Blonde Ambition’ will gross more than ‘No Country for Old Men.’”

Escapism? Surely he means pain… vast immeasurable amounts of searing pain as you watch Jessica Simpson miss punch line after punch line before finally everything comes together for our tough working class small town girl, who is ultimately rewarded for raping comedy by getting a man.

I obviously didn’t watch it. I was too busy rewatching… Die Hard… Yes… A Die Hard marathon…