Hannah Montana star and (probably) the next Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, has reportedly turned down a 7 figure deal to be the face of Lifestyle condoms. Cyrus, who has been described as the world’s most influential teenager, has insisted that she will remain a virgin until she marries.

She said:

“Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to discuss the subject of sex. With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set - and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.”

… Y’know, I just realized something. The people that are open about wanting to “save themselves for marriage”, just about never ever do. Instead they usually end up as disease ridden junkie’s with 6 charming (illegitimate) children from 6 not-so-charming (yet equally illegitimate) fathers.

The one’s that do end up being virgins until they marry are the ones that slink in the shadows and when you talk to them about their sex life they reply with a casual “heh heh… please” and you don’t find out until about 5 years after they’re married.

I’m deep.