This reminds me of that South Park episode when Tom Cruise, John Travolta and R kelly were inthe closet and refused to come out. Someone better chuck Lindsay Lohan in there as well.

I mean, it’s so not obvious when Lindsay walks around hand in hand with “gal pal” Samantha Ronson. All girls make out with their best friends and tell their mommies that they’re going to marry them. It’s just innocent childhood fantasies. Why won’t anyone let Lindsay Lohan enjoy her childhood?!?

OK! magazine are so sad. Trying to force an innocent girl like Lindsay to come out with a stupid secret that she’s a lesbian. She’s so not! Just because she’s an affectionate person doesn’t mean you offer her $1 million to come out with a story that isn’t even true.

These tabloids disgust me, I can’t believe how low they’d sink, Lindsay is a clean-living, simple and pure vestal virgin!