John Mayer posted a rather scathing entry on his blog… ummm… a week ago (Fine, I’m delayed… Contrary to popular opinion I don’t spend my whole day on the internet surfing celebrity blogs… I spend my whole day on the internet surfing pornographic material). The entry is supposed to refer to that vacuum of intelligence that is Jessica Simpson.

It says,

Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.

P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.

Charming.

I, personally, will gladly take Jessica Simpson off his hands as long as she agrees to support me for life… If not for life maybe we can work out a “K-Fed arrangement” i.e she can support me for most of my adult life.

Sure she’s as dumb as a brick… But what’s having to explain a few fart jokes in exchange for a life of luxury and relaxation?

So… Ms. Simpson… Call me when Tony Romo dumps you. I’ll undertake to explain that joke in the movie when all you heard was “prrrrttt”… Not the rest of the movie though… I’m not that masochistic.