Cameron Diaz

When your long-term boyfriend dumps you for a blonde that doesn’t look like an ugly man, how do you deal with it? Do you cry? Celebrate with the girls? Insist to yourself that you’re hot and desirable, to the point that you’re telling everyone else how you can get any guy you want whenever you want him?

Cameron Diaz seems to be going for option number 3. She recently gave an interview with British GQ, acting like she’s too good to date but we all know the day she goes on the prowl, guys the world over will run and hide. Even the gay ones.

“It’s been nice not having a boyfriend for the past year,”

“In fact, it’s the first time I haven’t had one in 10 years, and I’m enjoying what I’m getting out of this moment. I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be, but I haven’t finished doing what I’m doing,”

“I’m a lot of woman - in a lot of ways…And I understand that can be intimidating.”

You know what else is intimidating? Alien-looking Cameron trying to have cybersex with you in a chat room (the only way she gets some). You don’t know whether to close your eyes or log out or blow up your computer. Either way, the image is sealed in your mind. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Cameron Diaz.

You know who else is delusional? This lady.