I know of some really sucky actors out there, who really should drown themselves, but some people are so scared of my whip-like, sarcastic wit, they kill themselves before they can even become famous enough for me to make fun of them…oh well, rest in peace Matthew Box.

I know this post isn’t about celebrities, but it’s about a celebrity that could have been. Matthew Box (hope he was planning to change his name for the silver screen) was a 37-year-old struggling actor. After failing to launch a career and having his girlfriend dump his ass, he decided that he had had enough and drowned himself in the river Thames.

Man, he must have been a really shit actor, or he listened to the Self-Suicide Song (by Goldie Lookin Chain) a few too many times. It’s kinda funny, but remember “S U I C I D E …it might be messy but it’s money for free”…don’t follow this, please. To quote Brooke Shields “When you die, you lose a very important part of yourself.”