Jon Cryer, the star of cinematic masterpieces like “Pretty in Pink” and “two and a half men” is to be wed to fiancee Lisa Joyner, a Los Angeles newswoman, in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico later today. The couple started dating in 2005 and moved in together in 2006.

The happy bride said,

“It’ll be a small ceremony. There will be fireworks. I’m excited about it.”

Is this chick retarded? “I’m excited about it”? Nooo! You don’t say, imagine being excited about your own wedding! And the completely random, “there will be fireworks”… I don’t get it.

It’s like me saying, “I’m going to murder someone tonight. I ate cake. I’m very excited”…

Dumbass.