Own Wilson

The more famous brother Own Wilson has reportedly been hospitalised because he tried to commit suicide. Before I go into details, I’d like to say “DUMBASS!!!” I mean, first you’re stupid enough to try and attempt suicide and then you can’t even do it right. If you’d read SoggyCornflakes, you’d know our frequent motto…it’s down the road, not across! Then you wouldn’t be looking stupid, everyone would just be mourning your death and analysing why you could have been so troubled.

The story doing the rounds:

“Owen Wilson has now been transferred from St. John’s to another Los Angeles area hospital. His brothers Andrew and Luke are with him.

“Andrew found him after the suicide attempt and called an ambulance. Both of Owen’s wrists were slashed superficially and Owen had taken an overdose of pills.

“Owen was found with a nearly empty bottle of pills next to him. He was at his house in Santa Monica.”

Superficially? C’mon, stupid sissy. I wonder why he would want to commit suicide though. That’s never the answer…unless you’re stupid, then in that case, go ahead and shoot yourself.

So the guy has his brothers with him and according to another source, his parents as well. Seriously, they didn’t teach us anything in psychology. They told us that men usually use more violent means of killing themselves…though I guess they didn’t take celebrities into account, because they’re like a whole other species.