There must be some mistake! Pete Doherty and…-gulp- drugs…Pete would never take drugs! Pete is an angel! Like Saint Peter, except without the halo and wings! Pete Doherty cannot be taking drugs, he just can’t! It’s like, impossible! I bet he could get Scotland Yard in to clear things up, because there is no way that Pete could have been caught on the 5th of May in possession of Class A drugs…there is just no way!

Maybe they arrested him for being so good! In this decadent society, it happens. Don’t people get it; Pete Doherty could never ever ever take any form of drugs, not even aspirin. Yes people, aspirin is a drug. It’s a hallucinogenic, it makes you imagine that the headache you had is gone…talk about evil.