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Ok, I’m kidding, Naomi Watts isn’t fat but she has fuelled rumours of a pregnancy because she hasn’t worn tight clothing in a while. Ummm, why is it that a girl can’t wear loose clothing without people thinking that she’s been knocked up? I never think that, I just think “Loose clothes, oooh, bet she’s trying to hide that spare tyre.” See? No judgements.

I guess Naomi will be tying the knot soon with her actor boyfriend Liev Schreiber, because no mum wants her kid to grow up without a dad, and marriage is the best way to make sure those quick buggers hang around. Marriage is like a shackle…wait, is that why they call it a ball and chain? Oooooh, now I get it! Yeah, well, best of luck to her.