SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Britney Spears, former pop princess, and evidence of the theory that too much McDonald’s is bad for you, is thought to be mentally unstable by her friends (A select group of 4 people… all paid of course).

One friend told US Weekly magazine:

“It’s not substance abuse - it’s mental!

“Postpartum has always been a problem after giving birth to Sean and Jayden.”

There’s a shock… Who’d have thought Britney Spears is crazy? I mean… she seems so normal. I mean… who doesn’t enjoy flashing their genitalia when they get out of their cars? And who doesn’t like the Neo-Nazi look? And who doesn’t lose their children to an unemployed father whose claim to fame is being a backup dancer?

Shocking!

Note: I think I’ve been over exposed to Britney. I promise that there will be no more posts on Britney on this blog for at least three days. (I hope)

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Earlier today, Nick Hogan, the son of Hulk Hogan, turned himself in to the police, after he was charged with reckless driving involving serious bodily injury. Earlier this year, Nick was involved in a car crash, which compounded in a car write off and a serious injury to his friend, John Graziano.

Graziano is now in a coma from which he’s never expected to fully recover. A doctor says the best he can hope for is to perhaps open and close his eyes intermittently.

However according to Nick’s lawyer the fault lay with John.

He says,

The tragedy to both families is compounded by the fact that unfortunately John was not wearing his seatbelt. Thankfully, Nick was wearing his. Because of what happened to John, the entire Bollea family will make it a priority to increase public awareness about the importance of always wearing your seatbelt.

Wow… This John fellow sounds like a real b*stard. I mean… not putting on your seatbelt? Surely that would make baby Jesus weep?

Forget his drunk friend that was racing his car on a public road. Pffft… Who’d have thought that would kill you? Sure, the car was totalled, but if John had just worn his seatbelt, everything would’ve been Okay. Actually, everything would be better than OK. I think we might have had an end to world poverty if he had just worn his seatbelt.

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Duane “The Dog” Chapman gave his first interview since his racist outburst, and explained himself. And by explained, I mean, made a total ass of himself (Bigger than he already is, anyway). He said he shared a “special connection” with the black people and he was “black himself”

“In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that…so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers…say the word.”

“I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate,” Chapman continued. “This sounds so stupid. I always did it out of love. Other white guys would be like, ‘Boy, who does Dog think he is? Dog can say that.’ And black guys would be with me and walk with me and respect me.

“So, I went too far with that.”

It’s amazing how people realize their “special bonds” in times of crisis. In his case his show got canceled, and he’s lost all his credibility.

Bravo Mr. Chapman! I’m sure all black people will forgive you now! How can they not? Your only crime was not looking in a mirror for, what? 45? 50 years?

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Britney Spears former assistant yesterday told the press that Britney has devoted a shrine to the greatness that is… Keven Federline… No… you read that right… you can check again if it makes you feel better.

Britney also regularly cried uncontrollably after K.Fed left her.

Kalie Machado (The assistant) says,

Britney kept her wedding dress in a case on the wall in the entrance of her Malibu house. She kept all Kevin’s clothes and she would wander into his wardrobe looking at them. You could say it was a shrine to him. She was incredibly sad and lonely while I was with her. I could tell she desperately wanted him back. She’d burst into tears when he wouldn’t return her calls. She’d cry at night a lot.”

Wow. How amazingly sad. And by sad, I don’t mean boohoo sad. I mean, “I feel like kicking you in your face over and over again” sad.

K.Fed should just take her back. Who else would worship a pathetic unshaven loser, whose only claim to fame is the fact that he managed to release one of the worst albums of all time and knock up two losers (Twice each)?

Oh wait! Don’t forget he was a backup dancer for Britney! I think he was the loser on the far right of the screen… there! There! I think I just saw his arm!

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Star Jones, was scheduled to appear at an event organized by a non-profit organization known as Full and Fabulous, last February. The organization helps low-income overweight teen girls and their mothers work on self-esteem and their weight.

However Star Jones didn’t show up. Why? You may ask… well, mainly because she didn’t receive an extra 5000 Bucks.

NY Daily News reports,

Jones took their $17,000 deposit, two air tickets she upgraded to first class on their dime, and a suite in a five-star hotel - but never showed up for the event at Detroit’s Martin Luther King Jr. High School when Full and Fabulous couldn’t come up with the rest of the cash. Instead, she went to the Super Bowl (which was being held in Detroit) and a fashion show, and arranged her own book-signing at a Borders.

When confronted about her somewhat strange behavior Jones defended herself saying that Full and Fabulous voided the contract when they couldn’t come up with her 25000 Dollar demand.

However a judge ruled in favor of Full and Fabulous. “We have a judgement against her for $20,000,” Dumas-Pugh told TMZ.

I can’t feel sorry for these losers. To actually pay Star Jones to talk to you… is… mind boggling. I mean. Does this cow even have friends? It’s a gross misappropriation of funds to pay 25000 Dollars to someone who spends their whole day talking to an imaginary sock puppet.

For Shame!!!

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Sienna Miller, the once girlfriend of Jude Law, says that she enjoyed stripping off for her new movie.

She says, regarding her experience in the movie,

“There were eight of us and we were playing hippies and it was the summer of love.

We take our clothes off, eight boys and girls, and go for a swim. We were nervous but it’s real camaraderie when you’re all together.

It’s actually hilarious getting naked in front of people you love and respect,

The water was freezing cold, so the boys weren’t too happy. The water was about seven degrees, it was colder than anything I’ve experienced in my life.

But as a result it was quite funny and we felt a big sense of achievement after doing it.”

Charming. It must be great to have such low standards of achievement that taking your clothes off gives you a magical high.

Anyway, I’m not gonna post any pictures of her naked. Firstly because they’re all over the internet. Secondly because I don’t like Sienna Miller. She’s like a British Paris Hilton. Just stupider.

Whatever. If you’re gonna look for them on google, searching for “Coked up whore pictures” should be a good starting point.

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Horse faced supermodel, Gisele Bundchen, is reportedly refusing to take payments in American Dollars while the currency remains weak. The Dollars has lost 34% of its value since 2001 and is at an all time low against the Euro, Pound and Canadian Dollar (I think… Don’t look at me like that! I don’t do Economics… Wait. I do. Don’t look at me like that! I don’t pass Economics!).

Gisele’s sister and manager said,

“Contracts starting now are more attractive in euros because we don’t know what will happen to the dollar.”

How the hell does this chick get away with demanding money to take her clothes off? I mean… she has no curves, no ass and looks like a man… If his mother were a horse. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those people that say “Super models are so ugly, they look like men and have no curves or ass”… I mean, I’d jump Allesandra Ambrosio like there were no tomorrow .. It’s just that… Gisele looks like a man and has no curves and no ass.

She was hot like… 7 Years ago. Now she’s just… mannish. And how dare she insult the Dollar! Here I am waiting for a google check (In Dollars) and she’s all “Not good enough”. Well La Di Da Da your majesty… Cow.

I guess that’s the difference between a two bit blogger and a super model. Even if the super model has no curves, no ass and looks like a man.

I mean to be repetitive, by the way. Repetition is the mother of skill… and of brain washing!

Ha! I mind raped you all!!!

NOTE: I really apologize for the bad grammar (earlier) today. I think I fixed it all. Not to worry people. I just have one exam left and than I’m home free!!!

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Remember the time, when Britney Spears was considered the “hot one” and Christina Aguilera was the “weird emo chick with a nice rack and sexy legs”? Oh, how times change. Since Britney’s marriage to K.Fed, Christina has just gotten hotter (Or maybe it’s because of her weird looking husband. She looks hot in comparison when she’s standing next to him.) while Britney has become… that weird fat thing at the VMA’s.

Anyway, Christina Aguilera obviously a big believer in kicking a dog when it’s down says to Glamour, in reference to Britney’s brilliant “performance” at the VMA’s,

“Everyone has their own ways of choosing what’s best for them. I have no problem with telling someone, ‘Hey, I have to do a show tomorrow. I want to do a good job and be on my game’.

Sometimes I wish I could go out to a party or a club and just be able to be free, but there’s a consequence with the temptation. You know you’ll feel it the next day when you wake up. There are too many things I have to accomplish.”

Wow that’s harsh. It would be less mean if she broke a puppy’s legs and then placed fireworks in it’s heinie and lit them. And then ate it.

Yeah… Christina Aguilera is mean.

PS: The above picture is my tribute to Britney that once was. I’m sentimental. I cried when Care Bears Highlander was canceled.

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Yippee! More Britney Spears news. It seems God decided we haven’t been nauseated enough today.

Anyway.

Britney Spears defended her parenting “skills” in a radio interview with American Idol host Ryan Seacrest.

When asked if she felt she was doing all she could for her children, Britney replied,

“Oh, God yeah. It’s sad, how cruel the world can be. At the end of the day, you’ve just got to know in your heart you’re doing the best you can, I try not to let it get to me.”

You know what else is sad, Britney? The fact that you’re richer than me. Way richer than me. Without having any discernable talent. I mean. I’m as big a fan of “boob judging” as anyone else, but this is just ridiculous.

I mean… You’d think Studio’s would have better selection criteria than, “Oh look, you have perky breasts! Let’s give you a record deal… 100 million a year you think?”.

FUN FACT: The last 25 Comments on this blog, were either Claire or ummm… me replying to Claire. Thanks you guys. It’s nice to see you care… Comment Misers!

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Britney Spears, was supposedly pregnant at the start of the year reports the ever reliable National Enquirer. The problem was, that no one knew who’s baby it was.

Britney tried to pass it off as K.Fed’s, who basically just laughed at her and called her a whore. Kinda.

A source tells the National Enquirer,

“Kevin knew Britney was with other men and at the same time having sex with him to try to win him back. He told Britney that he couldn’t forgive her.”

In case you were wondering who else she was shagging at the time, it was JRRotem, IsaacCohen, BlakeMcGrath, MarioLopez and KevinFederline… phew… If you say it fast, you don’t feel that dirty.

Still. It shows how far Britney has fallen in the small matter of, what? 3 years?

3 Years ago every guy (The straight ones) would have sold their parents souls to Satan to get into Britney’s pants. Now she can’t even get K.Fed to admit that he stuck his unprotected phallus into her.

I mean… he’s a hobo right?

Hobo’s will admit anything. Like how Jack admitted I was with him the night Lenny died. Isn’t that right, Jack?

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