SoggyCornflakes - Celebrities

Paris Hilton has finished her 23 days in jail today and has been let out...much to the chagrin of me, who insists she should be locked up for life. But since when did anyone ever listen to me...the world would be a much better place if everyone listened to me! Paris almost ran to her waiting parents and didn't answer any reporter's questions. The dude in charge of her jail said that Paris had served her dept to society and she had left smiling and thanking everyone. In a phone call to Barbara Walters, the heiress said:

"I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute...It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me,"

Paris sweety, you are seriously delusional if you think any kid, boy or girl, looks up to you. Yes, you might be rich...but it doesn't change the fact that you're dumb as hell. But I want to see her act clever....bet she goes around reciting "e=mc2" and everyone will start calling her Einstein the Second. We live in a messed up world.

I didn't know Mandy Moore was close to getting married...well, maybe I did know but I can't remember right now. Anyways, she had a little fantasy of a beach wedding but has struck the Caribbean off her list because it was just too hot and sticky there.

“It was beautiful but, man alive, it was hot and it kind of killed that fantasy of wanting to get married on the beach with a private little ceremony - it’s sticky and humid,”

Well, I just don't care, since I refused my invite to her wedding already. Sticky doesn't appeal to me either. Oh, and FYI, SoggyCornflakes won't be getting updated during the weekend, just because I want to actually have a holiday from my computer.

Well, I think that news broke a few days back but I was just too lazy to write about it, but now I'll tell you that Prince William and Kate Middleton are back together. Yippee for them. Why should I get happy for anyone when my love life is as non-existent as it is? Yes, I'm a bitter person. I take pleasure from other people's pain. I dunno if there's been any official confirmation, but alot of people believe that this time the couple will get engaged...as much as they're willing to bet on it. Ay, but some people will bet on anything. Not me, with my luck, I'd bet that Paris Hilton has herpes and I'll still lose. Yes, Paris has herpes, but that's how bad my luck is!

Apparently I have no control over the world and Jessica Alba will keep appearing in the news. Now there's reports emerging from sets that Jessica likes to play nurse and walks around with a medical aid kit, putting plasters and bandages on cast and crew...when there isn't anyone hurts, she just wraps herself in the bandages and scares people by pretending to be a low-budget mummy. Awww, that's kinda cute really, the nurse part I mean. It's like a little kid who knows he's going to be a doctor...except Jessica knows that she'll never be a nurse and she's a grown woman. She says she gets a kick out of it because she likes helping people. Well Jess, would you help me by not appearing on the news every second day?

Christina Aguilera is getting married, oh wait that already happened…LOL! Okay, wait she is reportedly pregnant. How sweet she would look, with the added baby wait, she might look exactly like the real Marilyn Monroe…sensing that she is proud wannabe (I don’t hate her if you are wondering). Anyway, her representative has made comment that both the parents are waiting for the opportunist time to go public with the pregnancy. By the opportunist time, it is meant that it should be the safest time. So there you are sitting and wondering if it was not supposed to go public then what the hell am I doing reading this?!?!?! Here’s a little news flash, celeb world sucks!!! Nothing can be kept a secret…I so want to be a celebrity. But it gives me the benefit to write about them (let me laugh to myself). Mommies is now in Japan, doing something important to her, like performing and getting paid, let’s hope that she confirms soon…so that we all can be happy. And then we can see paparazzi attacking her for pics and she can sue…scandal you got to love it. Anyway until then, we can only hope that the baby looks all like mommy, have you seen daddy?! -Lashanta Singh-

Thank you to my sweet, cute, funny, gorgeous and smart friend who sent me this...you should all thank him too. All hail, King P!

Hey Everyone...In case you didn't notice that someone else was writing my blogs, I'm not very happy to announce that I'm back! Fortunately, I got lucky today and one of our feature writers sent me some stuff that looks better here. So thanks Shants. Lionel Ritchie recently performed at the wedding of John Terry over the weekend…yes the England captain is married and officially being shagged by just one woman. Lionel was reportedly paid 250 thousand pounds to perform, just imagine Nicole Ritchie’s dad performing at your wedding…how romantic right? Apparently not, he was made an arse off by the guests of the wedding. He was evidently so boring that some of the audience members (those rude English people, treating that poor American so badly…LOL!) started singing along with Lionel. You might think, how sweet they actually knew the song, but that was so not the case, they were mimicking him, teasing at him. They were so persistent to show off their voices that Lionel had to eventually ask them to bear with him and that he only had two more songs to sing. How rude?! The man is a legend, not only did he make a name for himself as one of the best musicians in history but he is the dad of the girl that drove around on the wrong side of the road without her panties. I guess the English don’t have appreciation for a man that has such a feisty daughter. -Lashanta Singh-

Former girl-every-guy-wants-to-bang, Britney Spears, reported stormed out of a photo-shoot for her new perfume and refused to come back. Page six reports,

"There was a shoot last week in L.A. for a new perfume she's coming out with and something happened," a source says. "She got very upset and stormed out of the shoot and wouldn't come back. She is not listening to anyone and doing exactly what she wants. But sometimes she doesn't know best."

Sometimes she doesn't know best? Sometimes? I've seen autistic babies, who thought they were Jack the Ripper, with knives in ther hands make better decisions than this women (girl?)! And Britney's getting a new perfume? Why would anyone want to smell like Cheeto's and second hand smoke?

With a Spice Girls reunion coming up, Simon Fuller has given the members of the group a list of do's and don'ts. It reads as follows,

1. Do not talk about money that you will potentially earn from the reunion. 2. Talk about memories of the Spice Girls with affection and pride. 3. Do not get into spats between yourselves over plans and decisions – is it worth it? 4. Respect each other’s personal lives and commitments. 5. Respect each other’s views. 6. Raise any queries with Nicki (Chapman) and myself at the scheduled meeting. 7. Do not confirm or deny any rumours until everything is in place. 8. Do not worry about schedules and time — this will all be arranged with everyone in mind. 9. Do not become pregnant –please.

How did the Spice Girls get famous? No One I know, ever even listened to their songs. But that may be because I'm a hermit that lives with my Teddy Bear and Playboy Magazine. But I doubt it. I think they just sucked.

Celebrity Babylon today managed to grab pictures of Brad Pitt's mom, visiting Brads ex, Jennifer Aniston. It's well known that despite her son dumping Rachel... I mean Aniston, Jane Pitt, mantains a close relationship with the girl from Friends... the one that did David Schwimmer. I'd like to speculate on the thrilling conversation they had: Jane: How are you dear... Oh my god! You're chin looks HUGE!!! Jennifer/ Rachel: You bitch! You're like Angelina Jolie! Jane: No, you're like Angelina Jolie! Jennifer/ Rachel: No, you're like Angelina Jolie! and so it would go on... I hope you guys were simulated by the witty banter that went on between the two.