SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

The Zee Cine Awards took place this Saturday in London. Let’s look at the winners while I rant about Shahid Kapoor not winning best actor. To make myself feel better, I put the video of “Mauja hi Mauja” up.

Best Film
Chak De! India - Aditya Chopra, Yash Raj Films

Yeah, Ok, this deserved the award. Was a whole new genre for Indian cinema, and for once, they actually pulled it off.

Best Director
Aamir Khan - Taare Zameen Par

Same idea as above. A new genre done well.

Best Actor (Male)
Shah Rukh Khan - Chak De! India

Not fair, not fair, not fair! For the first time Shahid Kapoor was nominated for best actor (I think), Shah Rukh had to play a role that wasn’t his usual masala hero. Only consolation is that he got just as big a cheer as SRK at the awards.

Best Actor (Female)
Kareena Kapoor - Jab We Met

During her acceptance speech, girls were chanting Shahid’s name. Not hard to tell who the real star is.

Most Popular Track Of The Year
Mauja Hi Mauja - Jab We Met

Obviously, good choice.

Best Actor In A Supporting Role (Male)
Govinda - Partner

What a crap decision! Govinda was the most annoying actor ever in that movie.

Best Actor In A Supporting Role (Female)
Shilpa Shetty - Life In A.. Metro

No comment

Best Actor In A Comic Role (Male/Female)
Vinay Pathak - Bheja Fry

Best Actor In A Negative Role (Male/Female)
Arjun Rampal - Om Shanti Om

Okie, Arjun was pretty evil.

Best Playback Singer (Male)
Shaan - Jab Se Tere Naina (Saawariya)

Best Playback Singer (Female)
Shreya Ghosal - Barso Re Megha (Guru)

Best Lyrics
Prasoon Joshi - Maa (Taare Zameen Par)

Best Music
A R Rahman - Guru

Most Promising Debut Director
Aamir Khan - Taare Zameen Par

Most Promising Debut (Male)
Ranbir Kapoor - Saawariya

Most Promising Debut (Female)
Deepika Padukone - Om Shanti Om

Most Promising Debut (Child Artiste)
Darsheel Safary - Taare Zameen Par

The rest are really obvious awards. Have a good evening all.

That’s what you call a person who sells their body for money, right? Shah Rukh Khan really knows how to peddle his own ass as now, obviously as the King of Bollywood, he can charge a helluva stash of cash to appear at whatever function you might be having. Yes people, should you want to make your marriage a special event and if you have some spare change, in the range of about 10 million rupees, then you can have your very own Shah Rukh to regale you with his presence and maybe a rendition of ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’.

Since weddings have lost all sacredness and are, like any other event, a chance to show off then getting Shah Rukh there would be a good step. Market figures say that the bigger the celeb, the more you pay for them, but the more cool you are at the end of the day. I can see the ad for it now:

Tired of the same boring weddings? Want to kill someone after hearing the ‘dholki’ again? Want to be different or just have a wedding theme screaming ‘Look how much money we have!’? Well then, you might want to try out rent-a-celeb! For an affordable fee (affordable to the filthy rich, that is), you can get your favourite singers or actors to be a part of your special day! Screw quiet family engagements, when you can have your own ‘tamasha’, with stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Celina Jaitley, Diya Mirza, Shaan and so many more. No one will ever forget your wedding, unless the Patel’s next door got a bigger star…so rent the best you can…even if you can’t, get a loan and plunge your family into life-long debt. After all, it’s worth it for that special day when you’re the one that bought Shah Rukh Khan! Rent-A-Celeb. Terms and Conditions apply. For more info, call 0800 HO-CELEB.

Do I have a career in advertising or what?