SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Although the question is, is Katrina Kaif ready to get married or will he spring up with a surprise mail order bride? Yeah, that doesn’t make sense but the story is boring. The only way I can spice up the story is by adding mail-order brides.

Salman Khan recently gave an interview, discussing new TV show “Dus Ka Dum” (Power of 10) and his love life…he has a very interesting view, self-deprecating at times and arrogance to rival Shah Rukh Khan’s at others.

So you are comfortable hosting this show?
Oh certainly. It also does not require the host to be very intelligent. I think they got the right person to host this show. (Winks)

Is that confidence?
See, I might not be the best host but I don’t think anyone else could have done this job better. I will do pretty much the same thing…acting and I know that is the only thing I can do to my best ability.

And what about SRK giving you some handy tips on hosting this show?
(He…he…he…pauses…ha…ha…ha….) How could that even come to your mind? Why will he give me tips? And why should I take tips from him?

Ouch.

Tell me honestly…are you confident that this show will be a hit?
Yes I am. I know my fan following and I have left everything to them. They turned so many of my bad films into hits, so I am sure they will make this show a hit too.

What about the idea of calling SRK on the show and make him play with you?
I haven’t thought of it.

But he called you on KBC. Wasn’t that a great episode?
I think that was the best episode. I am sure no other episode of KBC was as popular as was the one where I was there. It was a brilliant episode and I enjoyed it. But I haven’t decided on calling Shah Rukh yet. I have my favourites like Sanjay Dutt whom I would love to have on this show.

I bet you some irresponsible blogger or journalist will twist those words and make it sound like Salman and SRK aren’t getting along. So don’t you think those insults are thinly veiled? Salman is jealous of Shah Rukh’s experience and success on TV and is too proud to take advice from him. See how easy it is?

When asked about his personal life,

Okay…when are you getting married?
Someday very soon…

Very soon?
Yes, it will happen as and when it happens but one thing is sure that I will get married. I also have my duties towards my parents. They are getting old and who doesn’t want to see his son or daughter get married. I will definitely marry because it’s a beautiful thing to happen.

So will Salman, like his dad, have more than one beautiful thing at a time?

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No, not when they’re bing bullied or anything, though I guess he would do that if they were.

If anyone has watched One Two Three, they know that the movie was…ahem, lacking in any kind of talent. There is always a chance that it’s director might have been on crack (as the majority are…hehe, controversy) releasing trash like this. But no one said you had to be sober to direct. Sanjay Dutt supposedly had second thoughts on working with Ashwini Dheer, the master behind One Two Three.

But because Sanjay’s pal Sunil Shetty is the producer of Ahswini’s next movie, Sanjay swallows his pride and prepares to have a flop movie. When asked why he didn’t want to do the movie, Sanju says,

“Where do these rumours stem from? I’m very much a part of the film, Sunil is my brother and I’ll do anything for him!”

This is the part where I say something witty…you guys think of something funny, please. I’m out of here. Til tomorrow.

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Apparently, they aren’t. So what was the big deal involving Sanjay Dutt’s marriage to Manyata Whatever-her-surname-is?

Stupid publicity junkies, all desperate for a little piece of the tabloid page.

Apparently, since Manyata’s actual husband stepped up to claim that he was still married to Manyata, Sanjay has stepped back from his new wife and has even told the court that there’s no actual proof that they got married. Well, I think that’s what he’s trying to say. This legal jargon goes completely over my head.

Um, and that’s all that there is to that news. So how’s your Wednesday going?

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Because she was never divorced from her last husband. Talk about an anti-climax. After all the fuss, the confusion, the family-feuds…it turns out that Sanjay Dutt and Manyata whatever-her-surname-is were never legally married.

Apparently her previous marriage was never annulled and her current husband has no idea that they were even divorced. Her current husband has stepped up and his lawyer says,

“Mehraj was not even aware of his divorce from Manyata, and thus it is not valid and legal.”

Hee hee, isn’t it fun when people just get married and divorced for no reason? It makes me laugh, looking at their shallow, pathetic and empty lives, using wealth and power as substitutes for love and affection…empty, meaningless lives…loads and loads of money…I WANNA BE THEM!!!

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After the huge fuss he created with his shock wedding, alienating family members allround, Sanjay Dutt has decided that he doesn’t actually want to get married to Manyata and is asking for their marriage to be declared null and void.

And here’s the bunch of legal jargon that’s supposed to explain what’s going on,

South Goa’s Salcette Sub Registrar’s office said that both have filed a joint declaration stating that they do not desire to solemnise their marriage under the Portuguese Civil Code, 1867.

The duo in their affidavit has said that they have been informed that marriage in Goa is governed by the Portuguese Civil Code, 1867. Both have declared that they intended to get married as per the Special Marriage Act, 1954.

“We are now informed that this Act is not extended to the state of Goa,” the declaration reads.

With a desire to revoke and withdraw their declaration of marriage, the duo has said the documents annexed therewith be treated as withdrawn and cancelled from all legal effect.

Any clue? Yeah, me neither. But let’s just say that their shaadi is going to be annulled. See what happens when you marry old women with weird names? Now you know.

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After the drama that accompanied Sanjay Dutt’s marriage to Manyata whats-her-surname, it seems like they might not actually be married after all.

Some dude who’s slightly infamous for sending vulgar texts to celebrities (seriously, how to whack-jobs like him get celebrities cellphone numbers and sane stalkers like me don’t even have Shahid Kapoors? No fair!) is saying that he is Manyata’s husband and their divorce has not been finalised. Mehraj Shaikh also claims that they have a two-year-old daughter who is being looked after by Manyata’s mother. How hard is it to get a divorce? All he has to do is text her “I divorce you” 3 times. Like seriously, some Islamic cleric said it was OK to get divorced via SMS. But he sounds like the type that will try and screw Sanjay out off a few crores to give Manyata the divorce, if he is actually married to her.

Other problems for Sanjay and Manyata also involve their marriage papers having to be cleared by some legal department.

Though hey, let’s look on the bright side. If he wasn’t actually married, he could do it all over again, this time inviting his daughter and relatives before hand. It’s like a reset button…except it’s for real life! Man, I need one of those.

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Well, basically it boils down to the fact that his family does not seem to approve of his marriage to girlfriend, Manyata. They say they don’t have a problem with her but it’s obvious they do.

Sanjay Dutt invited his sisters to the wedding…the problem was that he invited them via text message a few hours before the ceremony was supposed to take place. Namrata and Priya Dutt were not amused and Namrata says,

“I got his text on February 10 at 1 am that said he would feel nice if we came but he would understand if we didn’t,”

“I have no expectations from him. I have never interfered in his life or opposed any woman he has loved; but I did expect something better than a text just hours before the wedding especially when all their friends had been invited two weeks ago.”

Talk about rude…apparently, she and Manyata Dutt live in the same house and Sanjay couldn’t take two seconds to say “Yo, wedding, my crib, 11 January, be there or be absent”?

The other family member who had problem with Sanjay’s marriage is Trishala Dutt, Sanjay’s not-that-fat-anymore daughter, who apparently didn’t know at all about the wedding until she say reports on TV.

When asked to comment, the 19 year old was lost for words and said,

“I can’t, can’t, can’t comment on this.”

Though Aunty Namrata quite rightly comments about Sanjay’s bad parenting,

“Being his daughter, I don’t understand why Sanju or Manayata did not pick up the phone once to inform her. That was very bad,”

Maybe he forgot he had a daughter?

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Whoohoo, for once I’m right with these rumours! I’m usually not right…a very hard thing for a girl to admit.

Except…um, he didn’t get married until recently, not when I reported it a few weeks ago (which feels like years ago actually, did I even go on holiday?). On the other hand, does it mean that I might have a career in fortune telling?

Anyways, Sanjay Dutt married girlfriend Manyata in a civil ceremony on 7 February, though it will only be solemnized with Hindu rites today. Manyata is Sanjay’s third wife and will be getting a step-daughter and a wedding ring worth 4 million rupees. Wow…what else can I say?

The marriage took place in Goa with a few of Sanjay’s friends as witnesses (no mention of his daughter, who’s probably still studying in New York…a hint on how she feels about her new stepmother?).

He says,

“I am very happy. I thank my fans for their positive support,”

What he means: “I’ve found my soul mate…again.”

She says,

“I have no words to express my happiness,”

What she means: “How long before I can divorce him and keep the ring?”

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Maybe a few days in jail really does bring out the romantic side in a guy, since he sees the antithesis of it all there but if rumours are to be believed, Sanjay Dutt is now married to a woman named Manyata. They wished a Shiv Sena chief (whatever and whoever that is) happy birthday in the newspaper, signing the half-page advertisement “Sanjay and Manyata Dutt”. Families have come out to say the two were married in a registered ceremony. So that’s it, she’s not anyone famous or special, except she occasionally danced around with minimal clothing in some movies and she sounds slightly obsessive-compulsive.

I know why she didn’t make it in movies, because of her idiotic name. Manyata? Sounds like a kinky Piñata. Why, you ask? Because I just think like that. I have a special way of thinking. I’m special. All the doctors tell me that, right before they give me my pills and escort me to my cell. My padded room of terror.

One day, I will kill you Paddington Bear.

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How typical. When the actor is in jail, rotting away, no one cares. As soon as he’s out and available to make movies for you again, then come the kind words and good wishes. Maybe that’s just the state of the world overall? Yes, I’m cynical. Get over it.

Sanjay Dutt must be deliriously happy now he’s out of jail and directors/producers even more so as he can now finish the movies that he started for them. After spending a few weeks recuperating and recovering from the trauma of prison, Bollywood’s so-not-hot bad boy is going to be in front of the camera’s again, shooting for Sunil Shetty’s Easy Monthly Installments. Lemme guess…a crime caper, with Sanjay playing the tough guy with a heart of gold and maybe a lack of real gold?

Anyways, Sunil is so glad to have Sanjay for the film, saying,

“We will start shooting on Dec 12 and go on shooting the entire month. It’s so wonderful to have Baba back. He’s been through so much. All of us who care about him only want the ordeal to end for him,”

Let’s rephrase that with some honesty. “We will start shooting on Dec 12 and keep working 24/7 until Sanjay collapses from exhaustion. It’s so wonderful Sanjay is back to make my movie. I don’t really care if he goes back to jail as long as he finishes shooting. Actually, I would prefer it if he went back to jail once shooting is complete, because that’s great publicity right there.”

It’s the truth people, embrace it.

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