SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Hi all, guess what? Today, SoggyCornflakes Bollywood has reached the 1000th post mark. Why am I celebrating this? I'm not sure, probably because I forgot when SC had a birthday, so I just need an excuse to celebrate something on this blog.

And since I have to take the day off tomorrow, I'm pulling the Shahid Friday post to today. So in Shahid news today,

Did you know that Kismat Konnection and Ram Gopal Verma's Contract are set to be released on the same day? But honestly, I don't think July 18th is going to be a huge problem, since both movies appeal to different kinds of audiences. If you want a fun, sweet romcom, you're going to see KK. If you want to see terrorists and fighting, then you'll see Contract. They're not in direct competition with each other.

An older story about Shahid shooting in Canada, he even has enough fans there to be mobbed by a group of more than 2000 people, of which 99% must have been screaming girls. Since shooting was impossible in that crowd, Shahid had to wait for a few hours in a nearby hotel and only emerged at 3AM to finish the scene.

Well, at least directors and producers can be happy at that attention. Kismat Konnection should be worried about Contract? I think not.

And I'm out, have a good Friday and Saturday and Sunday. Oh, and thank you to all the readers who have read this blog and other sections of SoggyCornflakes, it's you who've allowed us to be one of the top 550 000 websites on the internet. It sounds bad but when you think about the 20 million websites around, those numbers are kinda OK. Hopefully it'll get better.

Cheers all!

Director Ram Gopal Varma (known for making crap remakes and getting familiar with his protégé's) is in a little bit more trouble. Well, he will be if he doesn't start paying up child support. The dude divorced from his wife ages and ages ago but he did agree to keep paying for his daughter's eduction, which he did for many years. RGV's ex-wife has even had to sell her house to meet daily expenses. Well, when you don't have a house, why bother paying for electricity and water? Duh! But daughter Sumitra is quite annoyed, especially since reports keep coming in of Ram buying new cars and lotsa (fake) DVD's. There's no fun in buying DVD's unless they're fake. You know that's true.

We all know Bollywood is the home of all that is good and noble and chivalrous. It's like going back to the time of the knights, where men would kill other men for some chicks handkerchief. Well, the handkerchief in public eyes...I'm not sure what they got after the duel, once your maiden cleaned you up. So, is there anything going on between Nisha Kothari and Ram Gopal Verma. I mean, she is like a lady in distress and he is like a knight in shining armor, as he made her...well, not a star...but she twinkles a little bit in Tinseltown. Despite the suck-fest that was Aag, supposedly people still respect Ramu, except he isn't showing any respect to them. In his latest film Go, the director pitches up to the set late often and even then, spends a few hours in Nisha's trailer, before emerging to shoot a scene much much later. This hasn't happened once, it continued for more than a week. Well, you all know I don't have a dirty mind...-snigger- Ok, I do have a dirty mind, but it doesn't take a genius to guess what's going on here. Shame for Nisha Kothari...stuck with a dirty old man who's gonna have to get out of her bed to produce a hit.

Esha Deol isn't having a great time in Bollywood. With her last two movies flopping, she's hoping for the best with Darling, her latest movie with Ram Gopal Verma. Esha also sharpens her nails before digging into director Anubhav Sinha, who she blames for Cash being a flop.

"There were some scenes that I could not even understand. The story is about a diamond, and yet, you don't know who gets it in the end. Directors should know what shape the movie would take. So, one cannot put the responsibility on actors when they ruin the project."

Nice way to absolve yourself of any blame girl. Let's see how long that excuse works before they discover that you really are just a bad actress. A bad actress who'll dress a bit revealingly and try to find an excuse for it.

"It's my duty to portray the character properly. If such is the demand of the character, I have no objection to wearing glamorous dresses. My character in "Dhoom" is one such example."

Sorry that it doesn't all work out for you Esha. Just because you wear a mini isn't gonna make every movie of yours a success. Though she has signed on for alot of projects, so maybe she can come through without too much humiliation or bad reviews.

Ram Gopal Varma, who is widely considered to be one of India's best directors, is reportedly interested in making an erotic film. Varma, who's latest release (Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag) is set to hit theaters tells Reuters,

"I think I can capture the subject through my camera, I would love to direct an erotic film someday."

When asked whether Indian audiences are ready for such a show, Varma said

"I honestly don't care about it,"

Yes. That's obviously the best way to work in an industry that is only concerned with money... Don't give a damn about your audience. Well... that and burning down cinema's during movies. I hail you Mr. Varma!

In Sarkar 2, Aishwarya Rai won't be playing her usual role of plasticly pretty. The actress will be "naturally beautiful" on screen and you know how the director is going to achieve that? By surrounding her with ugly people. This goes back to my old theory that pretty girls will always have at least one ugly friend, and Ram Gopal Verma is just taking it to a whole new level.

"Aishwarya plays a very strong part with shades of negative in it. I'm completely changing her image. I'm cutting her beauty down. I've gathered a large supporting cast of ugly people and put her in the middle, so she'd come out looking stunning in her naturalness."

And everyone who gets cast in that movie? Well, you know what Ramu thinks of you. Abhishek Bachchan, I'm talking to you.

Maybe Amitabh Bachchan is tired of Shah Rukh Khan doing his roles in remakes (well, all I can think of is Don...oh, and Shah Rukh replaced Amitabh in Kaun Banega Crore Pati). Well, Amitabh won't take any more of it and has agreed to do Ram Gopal Verma's Time Machine, which was originally meant for Shah Rukh Khan but now has the Bachchan clan doing the movie. Ram Gopal Verma says:

"The kind of cinema I make is incompatible with Shah Rukh's image. I know he has a huge fan following among children and women who love his kind of films. And the film I planned is completely opposite of the image he has amongst his fans.. I would be a total mismatch with Shah Rukh."

Yeah whatever dude, we've all come to hate Shah Rukh after Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, I'm sure you couldn't make him worse. Anyways, Abhishek Bachcan and Aishwarya Rai have also signed on for the movie, with Ash replacing Kareena. Shah Rukh won't let the man keep him down though (the man being Amitabh) and since no-one wants him in a sci-fi film, he'll just make his own. So we will see Shah Rukh in spandex...I hope.

Hrithik Roshan is set to take up the role of action hero, Rambo, in a movie directed by Ram Gopal Verma, as the first part of his three flick deal with Adlabs. The film is to be set in Afghanistan. A source within Adlabs says,

"Yes, Hrithik's three-film deal is finally on. Adlabs had an old understanding with John Matthan for his film Shikhar and that's why he has been signed for a film with Hrithik. The second film will be directed by Ram Gopal Varma and he has been paid a huge amount to direct the film. Ramu is currently working on the script. It's supposed to be a stylish action film, based in Afghanistan."

I can see it now. Rambo bursts into a crowded cave attacking lots of stereotypical bearded males wearing turbans, incidentally they all choose to attack him one by one. Then Rambo inexplicably tears off his shirt and breaks into a dance. A dance with strong homo-erotic undertones. Than he makes out with a chick... just... because... Thanks for ruining Rambo, India!