SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

With the consecutive flops of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Laga Chunari Mein Daag, Aaja Nachle, Tashan and Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, I think Yash Raj will be seriously rethinking their next few movies. Until they come up with some new gimmicks to make a film work, they've decided to maybe go into the filmi business. That is, they are now going to buy films from other producers.

So the first movie to go on sale is Karan Johar's new film Dostana, that stars Abishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra and John Abraham. I guess Yash Raj are hoping that the K-Jo connection will be enough to make a film a hit...I guess they could try that, but here's the list of gimmicks that didn't pay off.

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom: Throwing together 2 A-listers and 2 B-listers is not a good combination. They are all annoying!
Laga Chanari Mein Daag: How many hits can one girl churn out? So much pressure on Rani.
Aaja Nachle: Bringing back an old Bollywood actress? Nah, that doesn't work either.
Tashan: A new couple dragging in the publicity for their new movie. That backfired badly.
Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic: Rani doesn't have the magic, Saif doesn't have the pyaar.

Guess how much Karan sold Dostana for? A measly 50 crore rupees. Yeah, other studios offered to pay much more for it but I guess Karan decided that he still owed the Chopra's his friendship.

Well, it might be because of the little fact that he's hot but whatever. It's not often that you get to hear actors sing, because after the nice voices that you hear in movies, reality may not be as melodious. But one of them who did give it a go is John Abraham, who sang live for an audience to promote his new film Aashayein. The story is told by Aashayein's executive producer,

"It was simply crazy," "We hadn't planned a big music launch and we certaintly had no clue there was another music launch (for Love Story 2050) the same evening. We just wanted to do something different. So we thought of making all the singers including John perform their tracks from Aashayein live on stage. We never thought there would be such a massive turn-out, or that John would take his first live performance so seriously." "I think we underestimated John's pull. And his pursuit of excellence. I thought he'd come on stage croon a few lines, shake his hips in tight trousers, blow kisses and melt into the night. No way. John arrived at 3 in the afternoon for the technical rehearsal. By the time the evening came he was fully prepared. And so was the audience. It was all calm peaceful and romantic with a 3,000-strong audience waiting quietly by the seaside." "And then it happened," "John sang Ab mujhko jeena. There was a deathly silence and then the roar 'Once More Once More' began.- until it grew into a deafening crescendo. Salim-Suleiman's band had already packed up and left. They had to be called back to unzip their equipment and accompany John's singing."

That sounds like fun and well done to John for not refusing the crowd...ah, this was a really simple post to write.

And obviously looks cute while doing it. In his new movie, Aashayein, John Abraham is dressed like Hollywood legend Indiana Jones in one scene. Director Nagesh Kukunoor and John are both fans of the series and the scene was added to pay homage to the Harrison Ford character. Are you reading this Bollywood? (of course they're not) but this is how you pay homage to a Hollywood movie, not steal the entire movie word-for-word. That is not giving the Hollywood directors a compliment...that's just being stupid.

In the industry, what is Bipasha Basu known for, besides dating John Abraham? It's her sex-kitten image, something that she's exploited very well. So what does a director do if he wants a sultry actress and can't get hold of Bips? He gets Diya Mirza? Huh? Sanjay Gupta had promised that Bipasha would be the sultry siren in his next film Acid Factory but after failing to keep her, the Cash starlet has stepped into the role and is looking forward to it.

“In all my previous films I have portrayed common and very normal girls. I am quite happy and excited about my present offer of a sexy and hot character with which I can play a completely different role from my previous ones.”

Yeah, this is definitely not the Diya we know, as she gets a whole new avatar as a butt-kicking girl. Is it just me, or is India starting to like the new dominating woman? (provided that she swoons into the arms of her true love at the end of the movie, all fight gone) Diya explains her character called "Deadly Max". I swear, filmmakers are so stupid sometimes. You don't call people 'deadly' or 'scary' or 'terrifying' or whatever in their names, you let the character give off that kind of aura that people automatically fear them. I mean, there's a reason why Spiderman isn't called 'Webshooting Spiderman crimefighter' and Superman isn't called 'flies faster than a speeding bullet Superman'. You leave these things to the character.

“She is such a character who doesn’t regret any of her wrongdoings and never wish to explain them to anyone else. I have done all my stunt scenes in the film myself only. During the shoot I got the chance of playing with guns for the first time in my life and I really enjoyed it”

A girl who likes playing with guns. Not the best thing when she's PMSing...should we be scared?

Having a relationship is hard. It's harder still if you're an actor and shooting in different sides of the world. In that case you'll have to surprise each other by surprise presents and impromptu across the world trips. I feel like I'm writing a column on how to keep a relationship alive but this article is about John Abraham and Bipasha Basu. The two have been in a relationship so long that we can't even remember the time when they weren't together. Since they aren't married, they're still making an effort to be romantic and that's why Bips has flown to Miami to be with John who's shooting for Karan Johar's Dostana.

"It's just for three days. My work got over on Monday in Switzerland, so I decided to rush to Miami for three days to be with John before I go on to my next shoot,"

Bips has been in Europe shooting for Bachna Ae Haseeno with Ranbir Kapoor and it won't be long before she's off to Bangkok to start shooting with Neil Nitin Mukesh for new movie Freeze. I'd make a stupid pun about Freeze and Switzerland and Miami, but I'd rather conserve my dignity as a blogger...until tomorrow, when I return with more bad humour.

Aaah, cappuccino, now I feel more awake. Well, slightly more awake. At least I stopped dozing and drooling on the keyboard. Shilpa Shetty was recently in Miami to shoot a "special" song with Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham. Is 'special song' the new phrase for 'item song' to placate all those 'classy' actresses who do them. "No, no, you're not an item girl, you're a special girl!" Sounds like something Barney would say. The new film by Karan Johar, Dostana, is now filming with Priyanka Chopra as the leading lady. I can't really find a synopsis of the movie but I know it's a comedy and it involves friendships. How shockingly original. The bigger story here is that Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan was cast as the leading lady but pulled out because she was unwilling to have two male co-stars competing for her affections, especially since her affections all belong to her husband. Aww, how sweet -puke-

"Now that Abhishek and I are married the kind of quirky situations shown in Dostana, albeit in a comic vein, wouldn't have worked," "Karan Johar wasn't bothered with all these personal considerations. But I felt otherwise. I thought the audience would wonder, 'She likes John and Abhishek equally? No way!',"

Well, since the movie is set in a world where Abhishek has the same hotness ranking as John, anything can happen. Update: Dostana is the remake of I now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

Hmm, the unfortunate effects of a hit movie. Suddenly, Kareena Kapoor is popular again. Directors and producers are lining up to sign her for projects and Kareena's latest project now involves boyfriend Saif Ali Khan, Aamir Khan, and John Abraham. Kareena will once again be alongside Kajol, whom she hasn't acted with since Khabhi Khushi Khabhie Gham (I think). The aptly named Idiots, is about a group of college students who may be off life support (that means they're stupid, for those of you who don't get my witty analogies) and yet, they go out and do something amazing. How very inspiring. The disturbing thing is that 4 of the 5 star cast are over 30, which means we have to snigger whenever they say "like" in the middle of a sentence, thinking that's how cool people speak. Don't worry about the delay though, we'll be seeing a lot of her soon, in Tashan (with Saif) and Milenge Milenge (another attempt at a hit with Shahid Kapoor) in post-production. Then you'll see her in 6 other films over the next 2-3 years, which she's already signed up for. Be afraid, be very afraid. Kareena is on the loose!

And yet, when I get my hair cut, no one makes a fuss of it. It's not fair, I want unwanted attention as well! Saif Ali Khan and Bipasha Basu were recently at a MTV press meet to promote their new film Race. There's nothing much to report except Bip's new short and sleek cut, which was a possible distraction from the fact that she was wearing a ring on left ring finger! -Collective gasp from readers-. Yeah, I'm sure that means something like she secretly got married to John Abraham...or maybe she's engaged. Wait, which hand means marriage and which hand means engagement? Anyways, it could easily be the reason that Bipasha had a ring that only fit on her ring finger, was too tight for the index and too loose for the pinky. Tabloids must use their brains, that kind of situation happens more often than you'd think.

Most people would answer...nothing. But anyone who's watched the two movies, will note a more-than-coincidental similarity in Akshay Kumar's 'Hare Rama, Hare Rama' in Bhool Bhulaiya and John Abraham's 'Ishk ka Kalma Pad Le' in Goal. And it really isn't a coincidence...both songs were sung by the same playback singer and weirdly enough, have the same tunes. Both songs were sung by Neeraj of the band Bombay Vikings, and the people from T-series don't really see any similarities or problems.

"The two songs belong to the same family. Otherwise they aren't the same. Even Thodasa pyar hua hai and Kuch kuch hota hai sounded similar. Yes, we did use the same voice, and we're very proud of Neeraj who has overnight become so popular. After Hare rama he's doing shows non-stop."

Pritam the music director of both films totally sees the similarities...well, kinda,

"While composing the two songs I never noticed they were similar. It was my wife who pointed out the similarities to me. Then it was too late. Once I realized the two songs sounded similar I wanted Mika and not Neeraj to sing Ishq ka kalma. But my suggestion was over-ridden by the music company. Never mind. One is a Bhajan and the other a love song. Also both the tunes are being used as promotional videos and not in the film. So it doesn't matter."

So there. Have a listen if you want to. The links send you to downloads of the songs. Aren't I sweet...this isn't going to get me in trouble, is it? You know what other songs were similar? There was a deleted song from Hum Tum, 'Yaara Yaara', which had the exact tune and frankly, was a better song than Fanaa's 'Chanda Chamke'. And there you go. A whole bunch of cool songs to listen to through the weekend...Have a good one.

A while ago, Kareena Kapoor was having a well-documented cat-fight with Bipasha Basu that involved the occasional boyfriend-sniping and dissing, at least from Kareena's side. Bebo claimed that Bip's boyfriend John Abraham was an expressionless actor and she wouldn't ever act with him. Guess what, throw a gal a few million rupees and she'll even act with Bugs Bunny. Wait, I'd pay to act with Bugs...he's like the most super-duper coolest rabbit ever...I get this strange feeling that I may need some sleep. I'm sure the feeling will pass though, as soon as I stop seeing spots on my screen. Now back to Kareena and her sad little lust for cash. Um, wait, I think you got the gist of the story anyways. After Jab we Met, Kareena is in demand again...so, her newest co-star will be John Abraham and now Kareena can really show us how expressive she is. Hopefully not by acting like an idiot though. Kareena has done an about face to John however and is willing to do another movie in her 2 crore (20 million) deal with Shree Astavinayak, saying,

"I have no problem with John. I liked the basic idea and approved it but will hear the detailed script in Goa."

Technically, she's telling the truth. She doesn't have a problem with John...she just has a problem with his face. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with his face...no, I'm not drooling! You know what, I'm gonna update more during the day. I just write crap so late at night. My apologies...will return with better posts and more interesting news later. Toodles.