SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Any regular SoggyCornflakes reader knows that I despise Sherlyn Chopra. I know despise is a strong word, but when you shudder at her pictures and cringe when you read about her, despise seems like a pretty good word. Sherlyn recently gave an interview and I think I understand her behaviour now...it's obvious that she's living in her own protected bubble of ignorance and she's quite blissful in there. Sherlyn says that she's changing her image in Bollywood...except not that much.

"I don’t want any more of what I was doing till now. I want more class. I was the ugly duckling but now, I want things to get better. But this won’t be a bikini to bindi makeover,”

She doesn't seem to get it, does she? The ugly stepsister never turns into Cinderella. More disturbing stuff follows,

“I have bagged a 40-minute role in Yash Raj’s next film with Rani Mukerji and Shahid Kapur. It is not a cameo and I share a beautiful relationship with Shahid on screen. The director of the film, Anurag Singh, had seen my video Outrageous and the numerous wallpapers online. He told me that I’d need to glam it up in the film. I told him that I’ve done it all, only to be told that maybe, I have no idea what super-glam is. They are apparently in talks with Manish Malhotra for a makeover,”

You have got to be kidding me. This shows the continued decline of Yash Raj if they have to resort to hiring Sherlyn. Though it's going to take a lot from them to teach her that "glam" is not synonymous with "ho". When asked if she had met with Yash Chopra, she replied,

“No, I haven’t, but I have had a brief encounter with Adi. I told him about many things, including my trip to Barcelona, and he just said, ‘Hmm, okay’ to most of the things,”

Probably because Aditya Chopra was thinking "Dear God, I used to work with Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan...do you hate me so much now!? Why God, why?!?!"

“But I can’t wait to work on the film. Anurag told me that Rani and Shahid are amazing actors and if I want to get my act right, I better start attending the film workshops. We’ll be shooting from July and I can’t wait to meet Rani! I’ll probably call her Ranidi and the first thing I’m going to tell her is that I loved her in Black. Maybe, she’ll ask me to call her just Rani and not di!”

Is it just me or is this starting to sound like the diary entry of a sad little teenager? Ooh, maybe Shahid will even look at her! -EEEEEE!- And the icing on this cake, she speaks about her new video and compared herself to Hema Malini,

“The video is called Dard-E-Sherlyn and it has some similarity to Dard kehta hai... I loved Hemaji in Sholay and this is my tribute to her. This might make me the dream girl of the twenty-first century!”

See, I told you she lives in her own little world. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up...and brush my teeth...and wash my hands...and maybe stab myself in the eyes because I've read way too much about Sherlyn. Ewww...

If you read the headline "Hema Malini pledges to donate her eyes" what would you be thinking? Mini-auction selling her eyes for charity? Sounds more interesting than the actual stories. She's the new brand ambassador of Vision 2020 - The right to Sight India. The whole point of it is fund raising for the blind and just raising awareness about blindness. While that's very noble, I still think it would have been cooler if she had donated her eyeballs. Yes, I'm gross, I know. Hema joins the ranks of famous celebrity Vision 2020 ambassadors such as Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Juhi Chawla and Suniel Shetty. She'll be doing lots of celebrity fund raising thingies. Very noble, self-sacrificing and sweet. Why does this news make me want to sleep on my keyboard though?

Well, except that the ambassadors of the UN try to represent all that is good about the UN and India’s Bollywood Ambassadors represent all that is good about the product, and their main aim is to make money, while the UN’s is to promote peace and goodwill…yup, I’d say that they’re about the same thing. Kent RO, a water purifying systems manufacturer, now has Esha Deol as their new face, who joins her mother Hema Malini and her sister Ahana. Esha seems to want to be Mother Theresa II with this thing.

“I endorse a product only because I believe in it. Being a fitness freak, I drink a lot of water. Hence my association with Kent RO seemed ideal…Access to pure drinking water is a grave problem in a country like India. I myself drink less cold drinks and more water. Similarly I want Indian people to get pure drinking water and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.”

That’s sweet Esha, that really is. I’m so going to pay attention to your wise words. You’re a paragon of virtue, and my life’s goal is to follow your teachings. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go drink my Pepsi.