SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Oh man, I don't get it. I don't remember feeling so lazy when updating SC before. Maybe the break of the weekend will get me back me back into the updating mood. For today, I'll try to not put you to sleep reading my posts and that's the best I can promise at the moment.

Ok, so Celina Jaitley is acting in some movie with Govinda and Upen Patel (Money Hain to Honey Hain), which has been in post-production for ages but will be releasing soon. Somehow I doubt the success of the movie, but Celina will always remember the cast because she got to celebrate her birthday with them. I'll let her tell the story, since I'm too lazy to paraphrase.

"There is one incident that I shall never ever forget. It was my birthday while we were shooting for the film. I never felt so sad on any of my birthdays because on this particular birthday no one wished me from the morning to the evening. It would have been silly on my part to remind anyone about it."

"I kept sulking the whole day and by evening I was in a total morose state. But in the evening, I was in for a big surprise. Everyone suddenly stopped shooting and I could hear a band being played. A huge five feet cake for me was brought in as well. Everyone on the sets, all the actors, our director Ganesh Acharya and producer Kumar Mangat sang the birthday song for me. It was such a wonderful experience. I am going to cherish it for a real long time!"

Um, whoohoo for her?

It's tough being Celina Jaitley now a days as the actress juggles family and career commitments. The Money Hain to Honey Hain star is desperate to spend some time with her brother who was recently injured but also has commitments to Golmaal Returns to fulfill. Read how she's juggling it here.

Yay, it's the final post of Friday and things are looking good. I'm finish with campus for the week, full of pizza and have had an unexpected windfall of money. Could things be any better? They could have been, if I hadn't had to listen to Celina Jaitley's whining. But since it's too late for that, I'll accept the good with the bad. Celina has hit out at actress Pooja Bedi who spoke out against Celina's complaints about people who make it their life purpose to harass her. Celina says,

"I have admired Pooja Bedi since I was in Standard 1. I don't know why Pooja should have spoken on this, when she is no way involved with Fear Factor. Anyway, let her have her fifteen seconds of fame,"

Oooh, do you think Celina really sees the insinuation she's giving by reminding people that she was in grade 1 when Pooja was acting? Wait a second, Pooja is about 10 years older than Celina, meaning she would had to be 16 or so if Celina is to remember her from her youth...weird, since Pooja only started acting at age 21. Hah, Sherlock Tigger solves the case again. Celina is stupid, case closed. Celina continues her rant,

"Anand Chavan, has been constantly harassing me to do the show. He sent me flowers and champagne bottles. Also, he sent me several text messages. He even messaged me saying that he is interested in working with me as my 'business manager'." "I am being mentally harassed. My name has been used to sell a product without my consent. I may not be Ash or Kareena but I am Celina Jaitley, nothing less or more. I have the right to defend my name. In my notice, I have also demanded that hereafter no employee of Endemol will call and harass me. Endemol is a fine company, but it needs to keep its employees in check,"

Whatever you say Celina, I'm out of here. Have a brilliant weekend everyone!

That makes sense, why annoy someone who really matters when you can stalk someone who probably gets a kick out of it? Celina Jaitley seems to be in some whinge-phase where she complains about everything and insists that the whole world is out to get her. You know who the whole world is out to get? Arsenal FC! We were robbed! (If you follow football, you'll know what I'm talking about, if you don't, never mind then) Recently, Celina complained about un-complimentary comments by ICL cricketers and now she'll tell anyone who'll listen that a representative of some company is harassing her. A production house Endemol India is supposedly making life a little bit uncomfortable for Celina, calling her at odd times and insisting that she meet with their representative, who wises to become her manager. Celina, very graciously, does not blame the company.

"I have no problems with Endemol as a company, but it is the people who represent the company who should know that they are the face of the company and they should behave appropriately"

Unfortunately for her, a bigger, more respected and less whining voice has spoken up, former actress Pooja Bedi has defended the company, stating,

“That’s ridiculous! We keep hearing of her getting attacked, and mobbed and stalked! Is it desirable or delusional? The truth is that Mr Anand of Endemol is in constant touch with celebrities for appearances on their shows. He has sent many celebs including me champagne from the production house’s side. I don’t think that’s personal stalking at all.”

And she insists that the culprit, Anand Chavan, is a very respectable and professional man. So is Celina just doing this for the publicity?

I don't blame them, I don't like Celina Jaitley either...but, it is rather crass and chauvinist to make stupid comments about her. Celina was supposed to perform at an Indian Cricket League match between India and Pakistan recently (I don't get that though, aren't there just teams there comprising players of all countries rather than nationally divided teams?) and she overhead some not-so-savoury remarks about herself.

"At first I couldn't believe where it was coming from. I still want to give them the benefit of the doubt because it's so hard to believe they could behave this way," "But I couldn't because the security guys wouldn't let me pass. So I was stuck listening to myself being described in the most colourful language."

Though she isn't pinning the blame on anyone, saying that she recognised the voices of the players from awards ceremonies. Once again, very dodgy accusation since the ICL comprises of crap Pakistani players who couldn't get into the first team and are unlikely to win any prizes in the first place.

"But what hurts and offends me more is the fact that people from our own country have chosen to speak on behalf of those who abused me. As they say, I am 'just another Bollywood actress' Fine. Does that mean I don't command even the respect that other woman get?"

Well, not that I condone their remarks, but what does Celina expect? Some guys are disgusting and even though the majority respect women, they'll usually keep quiet in the face of the rude ones. Ooh, and with a bit more digging (brilliant blogger that I am), I found out what those comments were. “Isko itni security ki kya zaroorat hai? Osama bin Laden hai kya?” Someone else allegedly said: “Kya tamasha laga rakha hai”. Translation: "Why does she need so much security? Is she Osama bin Laden?" and the other dude says "What a fuss is being made" Erm, if that all she's getting upset over, I think she's getting too sensitive. These are stupid comments that aren't even funny. If you're going to insult someone, then at least be funny. Just another hyped up story guys...

A nice easy post this one is...Happy Valentine's Day everyone...since I don't believe in the commercial holiday, which is nothing more than an excuse to make guy's feel guilty, girls feel stupid and everyone wastes money on tacky teddy bears and plastic roses. Love is not this but let's see how Bollywood will be spending it's day...

Aishwarya Rai: "I'll be attending the premiere of Jodha-Akbar in Delhi on Valentine's Day. But Abhishek will be with me. So no complaints. Every day is a simple day and every day is a celebration. What you make of every moment is what it’s all about. Bipasha Basu: Doing: "We're going for a short trip to Cape Town. For the last three years on Valentine's Day John and I have been in in different countries. Looking forward to this flash holiday. Desire: "None. I'm happy and contented." Zayed Khan: Doing: "See, it was Valentine's Day five years ago that I proposed to Malaika. So it's a doubly special day for me. I think I'm going to try my hand at being chef, and have a go at some fine wine that I've been saving up for us for a special day. We'll be at home since we don't want to leave our son Zidaan alone. Desire: "For many more such Valentine's Days" Pooja Bedi: Doing: "I've absolutely no plans. It's a day for LOVERS,not about being with loved ones, friends and relative. Unless you want to comfort yourself about the absence of that someone special in your life. Desire: Waiting for my Prince Charming to come. Priyanka Chopra: "I don't believe you need a reason or a particular day to say you love someone. When you're in love every day is special." Koena Mitra: Doing: "Since I don't have anyone special in my life I'd do the usual things, like watching a movie with my girlfriends, shopping till I drop and some harmless male-bashing with my girlie pals.And hmmmm, I may do some serious flirting. Is that allowed? Desire: "My Valentine desire would be to finally meet Mr Right. But if that's not possible this Valentine then fine. Just get me a man who's hot-looking and a great conversationalist. Then even a Mr Wrong will do. Celina Jaitley: Desire: My Valentine wish is to find true love. Doing: "Though I'm working on Valentine's Day I have a special show for the day on MTV for the single. I'll watch it and have a good laugh Imtiaz Ali: Doing: "There's a special screening of my Jab We Met for young Delhi romantics. So it's a day of good business for me. And this is as romantic as I can get. Desire: "I want to keep making films that girls will adore on Valentine's Day. Aryan Vaid: "My Valentine's Day plans are open. I'm single so nothing happening. I want to celebrate love. It's such an amazing time and with the Mumbai weather being so romantic, this Valentine's Day will be special even without a play- mate. Desire: Hopefully next year I'll have someone special to celebrate it with. Farhan Akhtar: Doing: "Since I'm shooting for Rock On it'll be a very routine Valetine's Day for me. But the night gets exciting when I get to see an intensely romantic film Jodha-Akbar. Desire: "Want to see Mumbayites back to the spirit of the city.. Esha Deol: Doing: "It's an unromantic Valentine for me. I'm shooting an ad with my mum and sis. Desire: "I want to give lots of love to all those who've given me love. Lots of love to all my ex-es too! Ha ha. May God keep me single for as long as possible because I love my freedom. Muzamil Ebrahim: Doing: "It's my mother's birthday on Valentine's Day so there'll definitely be lots of celebration. Desire: "Want good health and happiness for all those who love me.And I want to get together with the one I want to be with. Dino Morea: Doing: "Since I've no love life I'll be doing some good for society. Will be meeting cancer patients who are couples and helping one another through life. Then I'm off to Delhi for an event. Sammir Dattani: Doing : "Shooting a very romantic song in Bangalore with my co–star Jennifer Kotwal but thinking of someone very special in Mumbai. Desire: Wish I was back on Mumbai to be with that someone very special. Riya Sen: "Nothing exciting. I'll be working. I'm in Delhi on the 14th for an appearance. Amrita Arora: Doing: "Will be shooting on Valentine's Desire: "Wish to have my loved one with me forever Divya Dutta: "I'm celebrating Valentine's Day with my favourite people on the sets of Dilli 6 in Jaipur.. and that includes my childhood crush Rishi Kapoor. Kushal Punjabi: Doing: "Besides shooting I'll be doing what all other lovers do on Valentine's Day. Exchanging cards and listening to romantic songs. What did you think? Desire: "From all the girls in my life that one special person will emerge on this day. I promise I'll give up doing naughty like exchanging cards things after that. Neil Mathur: Doing: "Will be going out with a secret Valentine to a secret place." Desire: "One wish would be that I get the power to give back love to all those who love me." Tusshar Kapoor: Doing: "Nothing special. Just meeting up with friends after shooting" Desire: "If I had my way I'd make every day Valentine's Day." Amrita Rao: Doing: "I'm shooting all day and and attending a birthday party in the evening." Desire: "I wish all those people in love be so forever.And those who don't, may they please find love this Valentine's Day." Malaika Arora: Doing: "I want to spend the day with all my loved ones." Desire: "I don't anyone to be alone on Valentine's Day." Tanushree Dutta: Doing "I'm shooting on Valentine's Day.So no Valentine plan." Desire: "I wish I'd be in Paris for the next Valentine's Day."

Over this past weekend, a private gay party was broken up at Thane Yevor, with cops raiding the place. Homosexuality laws are still unchanged from colonial times and homosexuality is a crime that could carry up to 10 years in prison. As the rest of the world becomes more accepting and tolerant of homosexuality, Bollywood actors were asked about the incident and all show quite a lot of tolerance.

Riya Sen: "Everyone in a democracy should enjoy the freedom to do what he or she likes. I think it's uncivilized to question anyone's sexuality and invasion of privacy is a bigger crime than any. Not just homosexuality we need to open up our minds against all kinds of prejudice, if we want to really go global." Randeep Hooda: "I've lots of gay friends, both male and female. And I'm very comfortable with them. As long as they respect my heterosexual space I've no problems with their sexuality. As far as the gay party on Saturday night is concerned if the party goers were disrupting the neighbourhood's peace then they deserve to pulled up. Alternate sexuality must not be an excuse for extra rights and privileges. If you want to be equal then fight it out in life just like any of us. Nandana Sen: "Yes absolutely! The laws need a change. No one has the right to invade a peaceful private gathering. It's against our democratic principles to treat homosexuality as crime. Celina Jaitley: "My closest friends are gay and I wouldn't let anyone hurt them. The laws need drastic change. Homosexuality has existed since the invention of civilization.Some of our greatest artiste today ate gay. At this time of HIV and AIDS gay rights should be our primary concern. The Britishers who left behind our laws on homosexuality are gone. In Britain they've gay marriages. So why we we stuck with their obsolete laws? Also science proves homosexuality is genetic. How can gays be punished when even the Hindi language has the stree-ling and pu-ling genders? Imtiaz Ali: "Of course the laws need to be revised! An act that is natural to some cannot be illegal in a free democracy." Amrita Arora: "Gays have just the same rights as straight people. I party with them and I find them sensitive and dependable. Why single them out for ridicule? High time people stop being judgemental about how others live their lives." Irrfan Khan: "I'm not sure about the laws regarding homosexuality. And how do we know it was a gay party?"

Ay Irrfan, you want details? It's a gay party when...ah, forget it. This is a family-friendly blog.

Hah, if you thought that Govinda was a chubby, happy person, as chubby happy person’s are wont to be, you were so wrong. At a press event for his latest movie Money Hai to Honey Hai (If you have money, you’ll have a honey), he showed that having money also entitles you to slap random people wandering around your sets…then running away to hide behind your bodyguards. Only a midget would be scared of 5 foot nothing Govinda. Here’s the facts; there was a press meet with the entire cast, including Celina Jaitley, Upen Patel and Aftab Shivdasani. Govinda saw a guy walking around the set aimlessly (in all likelihood he was a stalker or he was lost) and Govinda, feeling fit from his recent weight loss, questioned the man. He wasn’t pleased with the guy’s answer and slapped him across the face like a girl. The rest of the cast had to hold him back. How very macho of him. Govinda feels no regret however and told the press, from behind his bodyguards,

"I had been noticing him for a long time and saw him misbehaving with other artists. When I questioned him he very nonchalantly said he is an outsider. So, then he should be outside,"

I guess Govinda’s new niche is an action hero or the occasional midget that fights on WWF.

That's what you call a person who sells their body for money, right? Shah Rukh Khan really knows how to peddle his own ass as now, obviously as the King of Bollywood, he can charge a helluva stash of cash to appear at whatever function you might be having. Yes people, should you want to make your marriage a special event and if you have some spare change, in the range of about 10 million rupees, then you can have your very own Shah Rukh to regale you with his presence and maybe a rendition of 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Since weddings have lost all sacredness and are, like any other event, a chance to show off then getting Shah Rukh there would be a good step. Market figures say that the bigger the celeb, the more you pay for them, but the more cool you are at the end of the day. I can see the ad for it now: Tired of the same boring weddings? Want to kill someone after hearing the 'dholki' again? Want to be different or just have a wedding theme screaming 'Look how much money we have!'? Well then, you might want to try out rent-a-celeb! For an affordable fee (affordable to the filthy rich, that is), you can get your favourite singers or actors to be a part of your special day! Screw quiet family engagements, when you can have your own 'tamasha', with stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Celina Jaitley, Diya Mirza, Shaan and so many more. No one will ever forget your wedding, unless the Patel's next door got a bigger star...so rent the best you can...even if you can't, get a loan and plunge your family into life-long debt. After all, it's worth it for that special day when you're the one that bought Shah Rukh Khan! Rent-A-Celeb. Terms and Conditions apply. For more info, call 0800 HO-CELEB. Do I have a career in advertising or what?

Both of them are trying to break into the Western industry, maybe hoping to be the Indian stars that can actually make it big there? True, Ash has been there already, but you know, she sucks as an actress, so we may have better hope with Hrithik Roshan and Celina Jaitley. Though there's no set offers for them at the moment, Celina does have a guest appearance on an American primetime show...but with the writers strike, she might have to wait a while before showing her stuff. Hrithik's had a brilliant response in the US from Dhoom 2, so it's only a matter of time...then I won't have to go into a special cinema to see him! Yay! Sorry for this incredibly crap and boring article...today is not a good news day.