SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Malaika Arora-Khan is done making people guess about her marriage by declaring her love for her son. Don't know if that sentence made sense and don't care.

She recently gave an interview saying that her son was the most important person in her life and her weakness.

"Arhaan is the best thing that happened to me. For anyone it's the greatest joy to have a child and for every mother her child is her weakness. And, yes, he is my weakness,"

So if anyone feels like hurting Malaika, you know how to do it. Kidnap her kid.

And when asked about what's going on with Arbaaz Khan, she talks about the movies they will act in together,

"There's no film as of now, but there is a song that I am doing with him. I have done a song with him earlier (for Shubha Mudgal's album 'Dholna'), but this is the first time I am pairing up with him for a film song."

Um, great?

The Bollywood world is enraged. Two supposedly well-respected members of the industry stooped so low for publicity that it's just so sad and I don't mean crying sad I mean pathetic sad. Arbaaz Khan and wife Malaika Arora-Khan staged a publicity stunt by acting as if their marriage was on the rocks and they were heading for a divorce. The news was quite surprising to hear since the two had always looked like their marriage was solid. Guess what? They were chosen as brand ambassadors for some skin-care product and chose the event (above) to renew their love and show the world how much they really cared. I'm sure this is a whole new low for the industry and I hope they're enjoying their cheap publicity. Saddos.

Who thought that killing Bambi's mum would still be haunting you 9 years on? But that's what happens when you kill deers, especially the endangered type. Salman Khan was sentenced to 5 years in jail for killing a deer and he hasn't served the sentence...yet. But now he's been in jail for 3 nights (a story that we missed because of our internet problems). The actor turned himself over to Rajasthan police when he discovered there was a warrant out for his arrest. He was visited by brother Arbaaz, sister Alvira and girlfriend Katrina Kaif yesterday, which might have lifted his spirits a little. While fans have resorted to praying at a nearby darga (shrine) for his release, his sisters have other concerns and want to tie a rakhi for Salman, whether they do it in jail or outside isn't the issue, they just have to tie that little piece of string to show how much they love their brother. For those who don't surf wikipedia for random things or aren't Hindu, a rakhi is a holy string that is tied by sisters on their brothers, showing a special bond, that obviously is supposed to extend through jail bars. The festival is going to be celebrated tomorrow, so ya, good luck with bailing your brother out, girls. I'm sure you can wave the strings in front of the guards, it might distract them and Salman can bust out of jail, with his shirt off...obviously.

Arbaaz Khan recently gives an interview where he talks about how much he likes working with his wife and how he's not at all intimidated by her success. Then he pulled out a gun and shot himself for telling such a big lie. Nah, I'm joking. Why would he shoot himself? It's not like Malaika Arora-Khan is successful.

"I'm quite comfortable being the husband of a woman who's a big celebrity. And of course a superstar's brother. It's not an enviable place to occupy. But it's the reality. I'm very closely related to two very successful people, and I accept that happily." "But I don't fight their (Salman and Malaika) presence in my life. I know their celebrity status is a reality in my life. I'm very closely connected to two very successful people. But I love my brother and my wife so much that I want them to grow from strength to strength. And though Salman is where he is on his own, I'd like to take some credit for where Malaika are. We've been together for fourteen years. Even before she was my wife and the mother of child I was very encouraging and supportive. I've always encouraged her to work. I've always believed, if you love someone then let that person occupy the space that makes her happy. That in turn, brings you tremendous happiness."

As much as I'd like to laugh at them, I do have to give them credit. 14 years in Bollywood is like...well, 14 years in real life, but that's still an achievement. Well done Arbaaz, your wife didn't kick you out in 14 years.

Welcome everyone, it's a new crap week and I'm back to report the latest stale crap to you. Let us all rejoice. The stories keep making the rounds...Katrina Kaif and Salman Khan getting married, not getting married, getting engaged...which basically annoys everyone to bits, especially since I report every piece of rumour to you. So the latest is that they are getting married and probably in the near future, since Salman isn't the type of guy to plan things far in advance. Salman's brother Arbaaz Khan says:

"There is no such thing on the cards now...In any case, Salman is not the guy who would plan anything six months in advance,"

His wife Malaika says:

"Well, it all depends on Salman bhai. I just can't forecast his wedding details. But yes, we also expect something good to happen soon,"

So they have alot to say but it does look like a shaadi will take place. No comments from the golden couple though...why don't they just say what's going on and stop baiting us?

You know, some people think that being as thin as possible is great, and Bollywood and Hollywood both promote this idea. You know what I say? Screw them! Being healthy is more important than being thin...but I don't know how many actresses out there are really thin and how many have been sucked to thinness. Here's an interview with Neha Dhupia, quite interesting, I'm just quoting the bits I wanna make fun off, you're welcome to click the link and read the rest:

You were surrounded by many good-looking men in this film- Mr Bachchan, Sanjay, Suniel, Vivek, Abhishek, Arbaaz, Tusshar, Shabbir, Rohit... (Interrupts) Oh come on, I have never ogled at my co-actors.

All these dudes are average looking or worse, what is wrong with you Neha?

You have lost lots of weight. Iska raaz kya hai? Iska raaz yeh hai that I have started doing yoga regularly and become serious about my workouts. There was a long time in betweem when I was not regular with my exercise regimen. I work out on an empty stomach, with Deane Pandey (who also trains Preity Zinta and Lara Dutta) at Joggers Park and the beach. And yes, I stay away from chocolates, pastries and aerated drinks. I don't take any carbohydrates after sunset. The two vices which increase weight are not my wish list anyway; I don't smoke and I don't drink. I wish I could still lose some more kilos.

Liposuction alert!