SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

While Priyanka Chopra and Harman Baweja hope that Love Story 2050 will be a hit, they may be hoping that they both flop for their next movies.

Ironically enough, their films following LS2050 are set for the same release date so Harman and Priyanka will be facing off, to see who can bring the most crowds into the cinema's. Harman's Victory and Priyanka's Fashion are both to be released 14th November and it looks like it was director Ajit Pal who pulled the trigger as Fashion had already set it's release date several weeks ago. Hmmm, or maybe Harman heard about it from Priyanka and told Ajit who decided to make a competition out of it?

Victory is about a young cricketer from a rural area who strives to become a successful cricketer for himself and his father (Anupam Kher). Harman's leading lady is Amrita Rao and cricketers such as Brett Lee and Brian Lara are set to make cameo appearances.

Fashion is a story about the fashion world, focusing on cat-walk models and not much else is known about it. Kangana Ranaut also stars with Priyanka and Karan Johar and designer Manish Malhotra will be making cameo appearances.

Which one will you be watching?

A bit ironic really, that Anupam Kher has decided to open up an acting school in London when the people who need it the most are right at home in Mumbai. Oh wait, there actually is a training school in Mumbai but this is the first international branch. The school, called Actor Prepares, will be opened by Anupam later this year.

"During the filming of 'Bend it like Beckham' it became obvious to me that there was enormous potential to build much stronger links between UK and Indian cinema," "The huge success of the movie shows what happens when you combine UK and Indian artistic talent. There is a natural synergy which creates something special."

And he has plans to open up other branches in Paris and Durban (South Africa) too. Oh no, please not Durban. If I have to hear one of their annoying accents on the bigscreen, you can expect a nervous breakdown from me. Though it's great that a branch has opened up in London. Now it's even more convenient for Shah Rukh Khan to get acting lessons.

Well, not really, but if you want crass jokes and worse acting, go watch Buddha Mar Gaya (Buddha has died). But Indians aren't very receptive of sex comedies and the movie isn't doing so well it's first week in the circuit. But Rahul Rawail, the director, doesn't make any excuses (duh, it's not like he could go on about how terrible it was):

"I'm not making any apologies about the raunchy mood of the film, " "It was meant to be a sex comedy, and it is exactly that. Why are we so squeamish about sexual innuendos in our films when we have no objection to sex jokes in the American Pie movies? I enjoy watching American Pie and wanted to do something similar in Hindi. And that's exactly what I've done."

I see a lawsuit! Until I watch the movie and see how similar it is. I mean, Jason Biggs, apple pie, funny. Rakhi Sawant, necrophilia, just plain gross and stupid. I don't get Anupam Kher, he does good roles for Yash Raj and then does crap like this. I guess he wants to get the bad acting out of his system.

I can't believe we were so blind! While we spent the years wow-ing over Shahid Kapoor and Amrita Rao, there was a diamond in the rough in our very midst! People, I am proud...no, honoured...no, privileged to present the most awesomest chick in the history of awesome chicks. Miss Rakhi Sawant! In her latest movie Buddha Mar Gaya (Buddha is Dead), the comedy is taken to new levels of crapness and crass and guess who's in the heart of it? Our Miss Rakhi! Aren't you all so proud? Anupam Kher plays the dead Buddha (they needed someone to play the dead guy? Ok, that makes sense) and he says:

"All I can say is, Buddha Mar Gaya isn't a comedy for the squeamish. The gags include old songs on the soundtrack which the producer has acquired legally. These include three songs from Omkara and my theme song is Yeh duniya utpataanga from my recent film Khosla Ka Ghosla."

And when asked about Rakhi's role, he replied while smoking a funny smelling cigarette...it looked like he was smoking grass wrapped in paper...wow, celebs and their fads. He says:

"I must admit I'm stunned by Rakhi Sawant's star power. At all our media promotional events and everywhere they've taken us, Rakhi was mobbed by hysterical crowds. Let's not get snobbish about her stardom, like we did about Himesh Reshammiya. Both are the darling of the public and we might as well face it,"

Yes, he's so right people. All hail Rakhi!

Well, that's not what she says...but why should I believe her? Everyone's a liar. But I do have an issue with Rani Mukherji being accused of breaking Aditya Chopra's marriage...well, because Aditya is kinda ugly...making good movies does not get you chicks! But apparently the rumours continue that Aditya and Rani got engaged in a secret ceremony...attendants included Anupam and Kirron Kher, who both have no idea why I kept stalking them and asking them what had happened. Someone said:

''Rani is not a home-breaker. She is not dating Aditya Chopra. If Adi is going through a rough patch in his marriage, that is his problem, not Rani's. She shouldn't be dragged into it,''

So...um yeah, I guess that's it.

Just the other day I was telling everyone about how generous Priety Zinta is, but Bollywood also has another do-gooder, just without the dimples. Anupam Kher insists that there’s more to life than cinema (I agree with you a 100% dude, there’s money, and cute guys, and sex, and McDonalds, and pasta, and “aloo paraathe”, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I think I had a point).

“It is very important to make an effort to bring about a change. Your words have to match your actions. I might not be able to do much, but I can definitely add cheer to people’s lives…And it does not take much time. Just a flight, a smile and being there, that’s it!”

That’s what he said when he recently went to Delhi to the annual day celebration of Mother’s Pride Playschool, where the proceeds were donated to charities. Maybe he has a point there, if you let people pay money to stare at you, I’m sure you’ll be helping a good cause. I don’t know if that will work for me though, when I stand there, people laugh at me.