SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

P.S. Checkie out the shoesies...

Now you know why it's not advised to wear 5-inch heels, even if you are 5-foot nothing. You never know when you might feel an urge to burst into dance, fall and sprain your ankle. It could happen...the rhythm will get you. Recently, during the shooting of a song for Ajay Devgan's directoral debut U, Me aur Hum, Kajol fell and hurt herself performing a little stunt. A member of the crew reports,

"We shot the song 'Jee le' on the cruise liner. Ashley Lobo has done the choreography. Once while performing the number in the evening, Kajol had to leap down from the upper deck and during the leap, she badly sprained her ankle, thanks to her five-inch heels! But despite that, she took some painkillers and shot the very next day for the same shot with full bravado!"

Isn't she brave? Hubby Ajay is also approving,

"I wanted a salsa for the song because that was the requirement of the script. It was an expensive shoot - more than 100 dancers and we had a crowd of about 600 people on the cruise. First we decided what the requirement of the script was and then Vishal made the salsa number. It was highly brave and professional of her to finish he shoot despite her bad leg injury."

And for once, I really have nothing to say.

But that isn't the question. The question is why do I keep writing about these crap rumours involving Rani Mukherjee and Aditya Chopra? This is the last time I write this...the next blog post involving them will be when they actually get married, which will probably be never. Stuff that get's so hyped up never actually has much truth in it. But whatever...the facts are that Aditya Chopra's divorce in finally final...in May. The dubious rumours are is that he can't wait to tie the knot with Rani. His parents hate him for divoring his wife and he moved out because of their displeasure. Rani's parents don't like it that she's "supposed" to get married to Aditya either. That pretty much shows us how much actual truth there are in these articles. It's like me saying I'm a girl...then we can all suppose that I'm an emotional psychopath at certain times of the month and that I make $1000 dollars every month from SoggyCornflakes and that I have a pet hamster called Sniffy who does tricks. See? Doesn't make much sense.

This news is from Mr Magic-Ears, who hears all and sees nothing. No, it’s not Daredevil. Just some guy who has nothing better to do then follow celebrities around, documenting their every word and occasionally, making up stories. Don’t look at me, at least I don’t follow them around! I stopped doing that after the last time I got caught…it’s not obsessive to ask someone for toe-nail clippings! I just like to collect them… Anyways, Mr Magic Ears insists that he heard whispered words of love that prove that Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor are definitely dating. Apparently, they were both backstage at the FilmFare awards, when Ranbir told Deepika "I love you" and she replied quietly "I love you too". Awww, this is so cute...and original. Reports also say that the two also spent the after-party in each other's company, holding hands and whispering sweet nothings in each others ears. Mr M-E didn't catch those sweet nothings though, which has to be a good thing, because I have a sweetness-limit...go past it and I start projectile vomiting everywhere. I hope that painted a pretty picture in your head. Ranbir upto now has still been insisting that he and Deepika are just friends, let's see what he'll say next. Oh, and what of Yuvraj Singh? Apparently, Deepika dumped him over the phone. Wow, I really feel that SoggyCornflakes is hitting whole new levels of tabloid trashiness. Tomorrow, we will have articles of substance and quality, as we uncover who has the biggest bum in Bollywood. Hey, alliteration!

Now, let's go over this little incident. Emraan Hashmi and the Bhatt's were on Voice of India as special guests, where Pritam Chakraborty was a judge. Everything was going fine on the kids singing reality show until one female member of the crowd ran up to Emraan and kissed him right on the lips. Does the guy use raspberry lip gloss or something? Why do girls feel a need to throw themselves onto his mouth? No comment on how Emraan felt about it, but Pritam was quite upset and walked off the set to show his displeasure.

"It was all so sudden…and disgusting. Voice Of India is a show about children, and encouraging children's talent. We can't have such cheesy behaviour on this show. Also, the Bhatts and Emraan Hashmi were my special guests. I had to make my displeasure very clear. So I did walk out."

Hmmm, is this really about inappropriate behaviour or is Pritam upset because no females want to kiss him? Could his disgust be aimed at himself as he's not desirable to random girls? Could...ah, forget it. He's just angry because some girls have absolutely no self-control and insist on acting like idiots on national TV. Even I have more self-control then that, despite what people might think. Like I would really throw myself on Shahid Kapoor...(mental note: Only throw myself on Shahid if no one's looking).

(Dum dum dum -insert dramatic music here-) If it wasn't enough that one Kapoor annoys us endlessly, there's the unfortunate possibility that the other might return to the silver screens. There's been some reports that Karisma Kapoor may be making a come-back in Bollywood, after an absence of almost 5 years. And what's wrong with extending that sabbatical to 10 years? 20 years? Until I'm dead? Option 3 is best, I think. She's supposed to have signed up for the remake of a Tamil film... But...before you all start gouging your eyes out, her ex-manager Zahid Khan says,

"No, this is not true. There has been no meeting with Lolo. I have nothing to say on the subject,"

Whew, guess my death-threats-via-ESP worked. Don't diss the power of the mind, people, it works.

And it's up to you who you think is the beauty and who's the beast. I'm talking about Amitabh Bachchan and Rekha, who have not appeared on-screen together in almost 3 decades. Though there's no official conformation to it, they two oldies may appear in Sujoy Ghosh's Aladdin, also starring Ritesh Deshmukh and Juhi Chawla. Obviously Ritesh will be Aladdin and Big B might be the genie. Rekha...well, since there's no evil step-mother in Aladdin, we'll assume that she's going to be Aladdin's mom. While I don't think that Bollywood can do ripped-off stories properly yet (they tend to ruin the magic of fairy tales and destroy the originality of English movies) but we'll see how this goes. If Rekha plays the princess, I'm starting a petition!

Ok, let's start with the actual story. Upen Patel is feeling very insulted when he wasn't acknowledged for his guest role in 123 at the movie's music launch. Apparently first-time director Ashwin Dheer was very commending of his actors at the music launch last week Wednesday, but failed to mention Upen Patel or his role in the movie. All other actors were called to the stage, but Upen was left fuming in the crowd

"What can I say? I was shell-shocked and humiliated. I don't know why I should be treated this way. Maybe because I'm an outsider in Bollywood. Would Ashwin dare to behave this way with Ranbir Kapoor or Neil Mathur? He shouldn't forget he's a first-timer too just like I was two years back. I realize I'm a loner and therefore open to all kinds of attacks. I'm prepared for all kinds of ridicule. But not being acknowledged as part of a film that I've done, is a bit too much."

And my explanation? Tanissha Mukherjee, better known as Kajol's sister, was recently interviewed about her role in 123 and when asked if anything funny had happened on sets, she said,

Yeah, I can remember one. It was when I made Upen really upset. Actually we had to cross a small river to reach the shooting spot in Pondicherry. I and Upen were in a boat and when we reached the spot, I got out of the boat and walked away. But unfortunately Upen lost his balance while leaving the boat and he started calling me. But I couldn't hear him yelling as because I have hearing problem. Later on, I came to know that Upen abused me badly. But we made fun on that, too.

So, Upen sounds like a sweet guy...doesn't he?

Now I'm confused...what exactly constitutes 'exposure' in Bollywood? It can't mean wearing short tops and skirts, because everyone does that. Even most sex-scenes don't expose much...so what is this elusive term 'exposure' that all actresses refuse to do, but most end up doing anyways? Deepika Padukone recently refused an offer by Anurag Basu, also starring Hrithik Roshan, because the plot contained lots of exposure. Now I don't see Bollywood girls running around naked (Thank goodness because that's just gross! Yeah, I'm mature...the human body is a beautiful thing, blah, blah, blah, just don't flash it in front of me. I don't like beautiful things) and yet, I don't see any in burkah's either. Where is the line?! Oh well, Deepika doesn't lose out by not acting with Hrithik, apparently she's the heroin of the Krrish sequel so she'll see him there and will again get the chance to bond with Shah Rukh and his 6-pack in Mani Ratnam's next flick.

Priyanka Chopra has good ideas of the healthy body... We're proud of her, and by "We" I mean my teddy bear and I. What? It's not like I can ignore his opinion...he's part of the family! And if I ignore him, he bonks me on the head. But I know he's only doing it because he loves me. That's the only reason why guy's hit girls, because they love us. And if you believe that bit of crap, then I suggest I give you the number of my psychologist. And now back to things that matter, Bollywood! Priyanka Chopra says that she's not getting toned so she can get into a bikini for Karan Johar's new movie. She just likes being healthy.

"It isn't about getting thin at all. It's just about toning my body. I do not endorse anorexic figures. I don't think you need to be reed-thin to be beautiful. I think Indian women look terrible when they try to get anorexic. We Indian women naturally healthy. And by that I don't mean hispanically voluptuous. But yes, we've been given a certain kind of figure. We're well–proportioned and aesthetically endowed in all the right places. And by getting exceptionally thin we're going against Nature."

That's deep...Priyanka also talks about her relationship with co-star Kangana Ranaut in Fashion,

"We got along really well. I really think she's sweet. When Madhur decided to cast Kangana I was so happy. She really really suits her part…. So the other story that really bugs is that we're fighting over scenes in Fashion. On the contrary we've a lot of fun together."

Female co-stars that don't fight...what a refreshing change. It's like seeing me not blowing up buildings for the fun of it. It's hard to quit when you've started, try it.