SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Maybe a few days in jail really does bring out the romantic side in a guy, since he sees the antithesis of it all there but if rumours are to be believed, Sanjay Dutt is now married to a woman named Manyata. They wished a Shiv Sena chief (whatever and whoever that is) happy birthday in the newspaper, signing the half-page advertisement “Sanjay and Manyata Dutt”. Families have come out to say the two were married in a registered ceremony. So that’s it, she’s not anyone famous or special, except she occasionally danced around with minimal clothing in some movies and she sounds slightly obsessive-compulsive. I know why she didn’t make it in movies, because of her idiotic name. Manyata? Sounds like a kinky Piñata. Why, you ask? Because I just think like that. I have a special way of thinking. I’m special. All the doctors tell me that, right before they give me my pills and escort me to my cell. My padded room of terror. One day, I will kill you Paddington Bear.

Not content with his outbursts of affection for girlfriend Kareena Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan has gone into the Tom Cruise realm of psycho-obsessiveness by getting a tattoo of Kareena’s name on his arm. Obviously he feels that this relationship is going to work, even though he’s left a trail (ok, a small trial) of failed relationships behind him and Kareena’s history isn’t much better. No word on whether Bebo has returned the gesture by getting Saif’s name tattooed on herself though. The tattoo is quite obvious and I’m not sure how producers/directors will like this new body art/scarred mess, especially since it throws off continuity in half-filmed Tashan and Saif is gonna have to wear a lot of make-up or wear lot’s of full-sleeved shirts. It can’t be right when a hero has some other girls name tattooed on his arm during a film. Though this must totally appeal to Kareena’s sadistic side as her boyfriend showed how much he loved her…by hurting himself. Truly romantic gesture.

Hah, if you thought that Govinda was a chubby, happy person, as chubby happy person’s are wont to be, you were so wrong. At a press event for his latest movie Money Hai to Honey Hai (If you have money, you’ll have a honey), he showed that having money also entitles you to slap random people wandering around your sets…then running away to hide behind your bodyguards. Only a midget would be scared of 5 foot nothing Govinda. Here’s the facts; there was a press meet with the entire cast, including Celina Jaitley, Upen Patel and Aftab Shivdasani. Govinda saw a guy walking around the set aimlessly (in all likelihood he was a stalker or he was lost) and Govinda, feeling fit from his recent weight loss, questioned the man. He wasn’t pleased with the guy’s answer and slapped him across the face like a girl. The rest of the cast had to hold him back. How very macho of him. Govinda feels no regret however and told the press, from behind his bodyguards,

"I had been noticing him for a long time and saw him misbehaving with other artists. When I questioned him he very nonchalantly said he is an outsider. So, then he should be outside,"

I guess Govinda’s new niche is an action hero or the occasional midget that fights on WWF.

Hey all, after a very long absence. Sorry about that, but let’s just blame the terrible internet connections I have to put up with. Let’s get back to my favourite topic…me! No…Bollywood. After a period of indecision, Salman Khan had finally decided that he really did want his statue at Madame Taussauds Museum in London and it was finally unveiled a few days ago. Nope, it wasn’t a shirtless replica but he was wearing a black vest to show off his muscles. Salman was very pleased and honoured, obviously. Salman declared the likeness "…absolutely fantastic…It has thicker hair and is more muscular than me. Cool," Doesn’t take much to have thicker hair than Salman Khan really..no wait, that’s the old pre-hair plug Salman I was referring to. Though that picture is from a very bad angle and doesn’t really look like Salman…just my way to show you how humans can’t recreate what God made. I’m deep like that. Katrina Kaif was conspicuously absent from the unveiling, either adding to the rumours that she and Salman have broken up or that she’s keeping the relationship under wraps away from media eyes, look at it how you wish. Out of frustration I guess, Salman took a little dig at the other Indians residing in the museum, saying

"Very few Indians have the privilege and it feels good to be a part of it. We have Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Amitabh Bachchan, Aishwarya, Shah Rukh and I think I am the third most deserving in the museum,"

Instead of a diss to the Bachchan’s and SRK, I’ll assume he’s referring to Indira Ghandi and Mahatma Ghandi. Could this be an incident to spark a Muslim-Hindu war? Why not? Race wars!!! (Except over religion).

A catfight between Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor, Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra…nope, it’s not from a prepubescent boy’s fantasy. While you don’t see them ripping into each other for real, I don’t know how long it’ll be before the others catch on that Deepika is taking all the roles that could have been theirs. It’s not really a point to argue that Deepika has been the most successful newcomer, beating out other hopefuls such as the Kapoor’s. Those guys are getting roles but nothing like what’s being thrown at Deepika. Models (and beauty queens) have the little problem that they’re just there to look pretty and acting isn’t exactly their forte. Deepika has the looks and the expressions however and has already beaten out Kareena for a role opposite Saif Ali Khan in Imtiaz Ali’s next. Kareena is going to have her claws out soon though, since that chick can never shut up and I’m sure she feels she has an unalienable right to that role because not only is it with new beau Saif but because she feels that Imtiaz Ali owes her for making his last movie a success. How truly humble of her. And as a little aside, and just because I can, I just want to wish my very kind, charming and lovable friend who’s hotter than Shahid Kapoor in Jab we Met, sweeter than Shah Rukh Khan in Khabhie Khushie Khabie Gham and more dodo-like than Salman Khan in Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya a very happy birthday! :-D I hope you have a great day to start a brilliant year, surrounded by friends, family and lots of presents ;-)! May you get every single wish your heart desires and much, much more!

Taare Zameen Par looks like a hit on the box office, whether it’s because it’s Aamir Khan’s directorial debut or because it’s a decent script that comes with decent acting, an unlikely combination in an industry that boasts the lack of one or the other. Either way, all the sucking up payed off for publicity and Aamir is in the mon-ney! What to do? Spend some time with the kids you’re not quite sure which grade they’re in...or should you make another movie? Doesn’t take a genius to work out that Aamir is going to make a movie and will only spend the second half of this year with his kids. That’s good parenting right there…ignore your kids and eventually take off a few months to learn their names bond again. Never mind that now, let’s talk about his new movie for this year. In a remake for Ghajini that Aamir is acting in, he’ll be going bald.

"I will do it [go bald] next month. There is a part of the film which requires me to have some hair on my head. After that part is shot, I will go completely bald,"

Ah, smart move. If you’re losing hair and refuse to admit it, the bald look is for you. Good on you Aamir.

Recently it was reported that Shahid Kapoor may be getting a bit friendly with tennis player Sania Mirza. No one really thought they were together and put down their appearance as a coincidence. But how many times will they have to be seen together for someone to realise that maybe there’s something else going on? After being pictured together at a hotel, Shahid and Sania were again seen together after his performance at Star Gold’s Absey Sabsey Favourite Kaun 2008, where he quickly ran off after his performance to join Sania. Eyewitness report:

"Shahid and Sania very much looked like a couple. They were completely engrossed in each other, and were oblivious of what was happening around them,"

So is Shahid just on a major rebound or is he moving on like dear Bebo? Whatever it is, it might take more than a few meetings to get something clear out of Shahid and his slightly-taller ball player. I forgot to wish everyone a very happy 2008…may you live to see the next year. Sounds like a very morbid wish, I know, but do you think Benazir Bhutto thought this time last year that 2007 was her final year of life? I think not…so let’s just appreciate each other, family, friends, co-workers, pets, beggars and bloggers…in that order. Have a safe and brilliant year everyone!

Apologies for the lack of updates, just the usual problems and my quest to not do anything productive on New Year’s Eve. Wish I could do the same on New Year’s but situations are against me…so let’s just do this. Saif Ali Khan is speaking out about his relationship with Kareena Kapoor and says that they aren’t just fooling around. He really does care about her and can picture a long-term future with Bebo. Getting married isn’t really an issue though, it’s making it last and both of them have come out of long-term failed relationships and Saif even has a nice divorce after 13 years of marriage and 2 kids. Does any girl want a guy with that much baggage, even the hot-big-nose type such as Saif?

"I'm extremely and completely committed. I've found true love and I'd like people to respect that as much as I do," "A lot of people say a lot of things. She's the most wonderful person I know," "Right now our respective work occupies most of our time. It's of paramount importance to both of us. But even if I sound old-fashioned I'd like to say my intentions are honorable.”

Guess the 10 year age difference doesn’t matter to them and it’s love that counts…bah! Let’s just say I’m not full of new year cheer.