You know, there’s a thing called Darwin Awards, for people who are so stupid that they kill themselves. I have a contender for this years award: Miss Naina Rizvi or Miss Jahnvi Kapoor. Yes, they are the same person. This woman is so depressed about her imaginary relationship with actor Abhishek Bachchan that she tried to commit suicide outside the actor’s home yesterday, apparently anguished at the thought of Abhishek’s wedding to Aishwarya. I’ve heard that imagination can make you believe anything, but this is going a bit too far.

Anyways, there’s a lot of conflicting reports out there. An interesting one is an interview with the woman’s mother who insists that her daughter did have a relationship with Abhishek, her daughter was tormented that Abhishek refused to marry her and this isn’t a publicity stunt. Did I mention I sleep in a bed of rainbows? And my pet unicorn’s name is Horny? (Don’t laugh…I said don’t laugh!) If it wasn’t a publicity stunt, then why didn’t she just lock herself in her room and slash her wrists there like all other normal psychotic people? You think you’re too good for them, Naina? Huh, do ya? This would all be even more hilarious if this story turned out to be true and Abhishek had been involved with the crazy chick.

Just a pointer darling, when you want to slash your wrists, it’s down the road, not across.