SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Maybe because he looks so stupid in a turban and is a disgrace to them all? Sorry for the quality of the picture, but it was the only one I could find...well, kinda. Anyways, moving on. Akshay Kumar is now in Australia shooting his next film with Katrina Kaif. Their 'jodi' (partnership) has proved to be quite successful in Namaste London and any director would be willing to they them again. Just one problem...the film is titled Singh is King and is meant to empower Sikh people in the community...except it just seems to be pissing them off. The local Punjabi community in Australia is not appreciative of Akshay's look, of a clean-shaven Sikh and objected when some photos were leaked of Akki wearing his turban all wrong. But director Vipul Shah insists that the photos are not a true reflection of the look that Akshay will be sporting in the movie. He's even had people come in to tell Akshay exactly how to wear the turban correctly. Is this the advent of the modern Sikh? Oh and finally, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you won't have to read my ramblings for a few days...the bad news is that I can't ramble for a few days. Advance apologies for not updating but I'll be back soon. It won't be too bad...please don't cry. Because if you cry, I'll cry and...you see what I meant about the rambling? Take care everyone...next time I'll be updating from a whole other continent!

Kangana Ranaut is lucky that she hasn't been picked up by the censor board and other decency laws in India for doing a 'nude' photo shoot recently in a film magazine. You know, except they couldn't really get her for that since she wasn't actually nude.

“What's the big deal about the picture? Are any of my vital organs seen? I haven't posed nude at all. These days one doesn’t need to. Body suits are available readily in the market,” "It was for an annual issue and we just tried doing something different. In my profession, one has to do different kinds of photo shoots. I fail to understand why such a big deal is made about a normal picture.”

And just to do the annoying thing when I correct people's grammar or usage of words...vital organs are the stuff on the inside, e.g. heart, brains etc,. so unless you were posing for an autopsy photo shoot, it's unlikely anyone would see any of those. Kangana is quite bored these days, she doesn't have any movies in the pipeline, so she spends her days meditating, reading and wondering why she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she poses in raunchy photo shoots to get one. Do I sound bitter? Maybe, possibly I am...she's younger than me! No fair!

Even though I've changed the title song to 'Crap to the left of me, crap to the right of me...' and you get the idea. I'm glad he's proud of himself because that movie is somewhere down there on the unrealistic-and-disjointed-rubbish movie meter. Ritesh Deshmukh loves Cash, even though it didn't do much for his career, but he feels that he's proved that he can do other roles besides comedy. He enjoyed shooting for the film so much that he lost track of how fast shooting went...and yet he never questioned where a F1 car appeared from.

"The kind of action that we got to see in 'Cash' was never seen before. Me, Ajay Devgan, Zayed Khan, Suniel Shetty, Shamita Shetty, Diya Mirza and Esha Deol had a whale of time. We didn't even realize when the shooting got over,"

Did you know Ritesh was an architect? He even has a company...good back-up plan in case the acting career flops. He's not really concentrating on that job just yet though, saying,

"I leave my architecture company's running in the hands of a very efficient team while I focus on my acting,"

Yes, and I leave my unwritten novel in my head while I concentrate on blogging...

Actually he had bulked up for his role in Guru, that expected him to put on 11 kgs and the increased weight wasn't the inevitability of a married man. Now he's losing weight to become the stud on-screen again. Nope, my face wasn't straight when I wrote that. Abhishek Bachchan says,

"I've lost more than half of the weight I had put on. Still working on losing more. Actually putting on weight was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. I was just eating day-in and day-out. You tend to get fed up of it. It was tough. But it was required for the role and therefore definitely worth it."

Though I must say, it must be a fun job to have to put on weight...being an actor is like being a sumo wrestler...or Homer Simpson in that one episode when he wanted to get obese to be classified as disabled. Ah, that dude cracks me up. Homer, I mean, not Abhishek. No wonder Priyanka Chopra plays his bodyguard in Drona...he's gonna need some protection from the ladies throwing themselves at him. And no, that wasn't written with a straight face either.

And is taking it to the next level...the next level being monetary gains for being made fun of. There seems to be something funny going on with Shah Rukh Khan, Farah Khan and Manoj Kumar. It was reported that the veteran actor wasn't very amused by a scene in Om Shanti Om where "he" was beaten up...or at least a look-a-like was given a few knocks. And even though Farah and Shah Rukh apologised to him and claimed to offer the deletion of the scene, Manoj refused and said it was OK. However it doesn't look like that was the case and the dude is still quite pissed off. He insists that the scene be removed from the movie ASAP or he'll be suing SRK.

“I am not here to beg for anything. If he has committed a crime, he should realise that he has to personally apologise to me. In my 50 years of work, I have never held a press conference or hired a PR person. I have been extremely tolerant, but if someone hits me below the belt, it is unpardonable.” "Frankly, I don't believe in litigation. But after three days, I will consult my well-wishers and advisors and if they say that I should knock the doors of a court, I will. I am not going to stop protesting,"

The going has not been easy for Manoj either, since Shah Rukh offered to come to his house and apologise personally, resulting in the usual 'tamasha' that follows King Khan outside the home of Mr. Kumar. And guess what? Shah Rukh didn't pitch and police had to be called in to disperse the crowd. Ah how fun. I see a lawsuit...

For at least 6 months, when his his next hearing occurs. It was unlikely that they would keep a Bollywood star in jail for so long and Sanjay's stardom (and good behaviour) made sure that he didn't spend too much longer in the can. The Supreme court has granted him bail based on his good conduct and the fact that in the last 10 years he's been out on bail, he's never broken the law. Wow... Unfortunately Sanjay is still in jail until the legal formalities are complete, but he'll be out in a day or two, where his family is waiting for him with home-cooked food and his own bed. Cheapskates, they could at least buy him some KFC or something. He's been surviving on daal and rice for the last month. I'm assuming that's the kinda food you get in jail. And Bollywood will be so glad, since he's back to finish their movies. What a loving reception he'll get from the.

It looks like Katrina Kaif is tired of Salman Khan's obsessiveness and reports suggest that the 4-year relationship is about to end. Obviously there's no official confirmation but let's just assume it's the truth. Problems with their relationship: 1. Rumours that Katrina only got the roles and recognition that she did because of Salman, which irked her. 2. Salman's supposed jealousy about her co-stars, including Akshay Kumar and recently, Shahid Kapoor that Katrina is supposed to partner with. 3. Salman hasn't seen Kat is more than a month, since she's been shooting in Australia with Akshay Kumar for their new movie Singh is King. Before he would move a whole film-set to be near her, now he can't even catch a flight? 4. Salman's been pressuring Katrina for marriage, which she's not ready for. No big surprise there, since he's not getting any younger. So things don't look good for this couple...and if history repeats itself, they were due for the split. Salman Khan always seems to go into these long-term relationships that end in break-ups, most notably his relationship with Aishwarya Rai. Now we just wait for the official announcement.

Or at least not with the original stars. The 2006 movie Pyaar ke Side Effects was a hit with the crowd looking for a mostly realistic and humourous impression of the modern relationship. They found it in the unlikely duo of Mallika Sherawat and Rahul Bose. Now with the idea of a sequel on the board, Mallika and Rahul may not agree to team up for this one. Director Saket Chaudhary is looking to direct the sequel, naming the film Shaadi ke Side Effects, examining the not often examined side of what happens after happily ever after. Saket talks about the project but can't promise to get us back the stars of the previous movie, insisting that scripts count more and even star actors can be replaced,

“I have narrowed down on an idea. The story takes off a few years later, post marriage,” “See, I am not writing the film keeping them in mind. Whether they feature in the film or not will be decided later. They are well aware of the second installment, but everything boils down to the script,”

Even the producers want the new film made and don't care if they get the original actors there or not.

"Yes a sequel to Pyar Ke Side Effects is definitely in the pipeline. And if Rahul or anyone else from the cast and crew doesn't want to do the sequel, no problem. We'll replace whoever isn't interested. I want Rahul and Mallika to encore their roles. But if they don't I can easily do it without them. I've repeatedly said actors and directors don't make a difference."

But it's too weird to see new actors fill in for their previous protagonists, have you seen Home Alone 4? Bet you didn't even know it existed. The point is that you can't have different people play the same character, the movie would already be at a disadvantage if the director tried that. So please bring back the kissy-couple!

I don't know how happy parents are when their kids start gyrating to 'Yeh Mera Dil' (which basically is supposed to be a seductive song) but Kareena Kapoor is delighted that her niece enjoys the song and breaks into dance whenever she sees her aunt. Karisma Kapoor's daughter Samaira has been totally impressed with the seductive qualities of her Aunty Bebo and we may even see her in cinema's eventually, being another annoying as hell child actor, but until then, she makes Kareena happy by twirling around the room in her mum's gold lamé dress. Even though it's been a few months since the movie came out, Kareena still raves about her item dance.

"Very frankly I did the Yeh mera dil song in Don because of Shah Rukh. My ultimate wish is to do a full-on love story with him. But when Farhan Akhtar offered me the song I wondered if doing a guest appearance was right for me. But the temptation for doing a song with Shah Rukh got the better of me." "It's got me tremendous notice. My niece Samaira has become my biggest fan. She dances to the song. And the minute she sees me she starts singing Yeh mera dil pyar ka deewana."

And yet, no one sees how sad it is that a 2 year old has no better role model than Kareena.

Unlike most actresses who start of in decent, Indian girl-next-door roles, and can't wait to throw off the stereotype, along with some clothes, Sonam Kapoor is looking forward to being conventional, and relatively conservative. After Saawariya, even if it wasn't the greatest, the mind-numbing publicity won't let you forget her and I'm sure directors will be knocking on her door...after all, she's still Anil Kapoor's daughter. She says her parents are kinda conservative and she'll follow their wishes and her own norms of decency but may cross some boundaries if the role asked for it.

"I'd love to do conventional roles, but within the limits imposed by my parents. You know they're slightly conservative. So far there has been no occasion to cross my boundaries." "I hope I get roles that require more substance than skin. If a particular situation demands me to break my self-imposed censorship, then I'll do it."

I like her, she sounds like she has a brain, a rare commodity in any film industry where materialism and superficialness are the keys to success. Though directors be warned, it won't be her choosing roles and scripts, it will be daddy Anil, but Sonam doesn't mind, she trusts her parents to do what's best for her. Wow, is she for real?