SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Not Cristiano Ronaldo though, he taught her other things. (Hint hint) I'm very subtle, no? These guys haven't been in the news for a while, since the media has taken a break from playing with their lives, according to Bipasha Basu anyways.

"We are just puppets in the hands of the media, especially when it comes to our personal lives. The media decides when our relationship starts going through a rough patch and when it mends,"

Well obviously, talking crap about you guys gets hits and sometimes, some money. So keep the controversy coming Bips! Bipasha also says that she didn't know much about football and it was up to John Abraham to teach her what was going on.

"I've been a soccer fan for five years. I got interested in the game because my boyfriend likes it. John taught me football in the hotel in London, though if I tried playing the game with the boys I'd make a fool of myself," "John is very passionate about two things, bikes and football. He's lucky he got to be in a bike film 'Dhoom' and now a football film,"

Finally, Dhoni's new look has nothing to do with Deepika. Apparently, John inspired Indian cricket captain Dhoni to stop the greasy look...since you know, that much oil isn't good for the hair. Now it's shorter and apparently, more stylish. Well, whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

Because everyone is too obsessed with his six-pack. Is that true girls? Uh...maybe. There is a certain fascination to seeing a human sack of steroids walking around. No, I'm not being mean...I'm just being truthful...and mean. At a recent promotional event for Filmfare where he appears on the cover of the magazine shirtless, he says:

"Well it's just not a promotional event for Om Shanti Om, its my relation with Filmfare as well," "I am very embarrassed; people come to see my abs and not my acting. Actually I am very shy of photo shoots." "I think this film is completely ruled by the two leading ladies and that is Farah khan and Deepika,"

Wow, King Khan being humble. Those drugs must really mellow you out. You would be more believable if you weren't standing in front of your poster and weren't wearing your 'Shah Rukh Khan is the best actor in the whole wide world' vest. Yes, I know you have it on under there!

Rani Mukherjee recently spoke out about her roles in Laga Chunri Mein Daag and Saawariya, both in which she plays prostitutes. She insists that the roles are completely different and she hope the audience can identify with her characters.

"I play every different prostitutes in Saawariya and Laga Chunri…The woman in Saawariya has no problem with her profession whereas in the other film it's completely different. No one goes into prostitution willingly. But there're compulsions, and compulsions."

Wow, I like the way that by using the word 'compulsions' twice, she so emphasises it! She talks about her character Badki in Laga Chunri Mein Daag:

"I had to manifest her change from a simple homely Varanasi girl to a high-class hooker in Mumbai. And I dressed accordingly. In order to feel like a character you've to look like her specially when she's true to life which she is in many of my films. In Laga Chunri… it was very important for me to look completely different as the innocent carefree girl in Varanasi and then this prostitute in Mumbai."

So that's how Bollywood works? All girls come in innocent and sweet before being turned into hookers for the big-screen. I totally get symbolism, this movie is about the industry!

Well, he's the captain of the Indian cricket team. They won the Twenty20 World Cup, remember? He has greasy long hair and is considered the Indian David Beckham. Oh...she means she doesn't know him as a friend or anything more. Oops, my mistake. She says that reports about him visiting her on sets and bringing her gifts is all wrong and if any reports should be believed, there's something going on between Deepika Padukone and him. Except she didn't say the past about Deepika, I did. Just to clear up any confusion. Deepika was invited by Mahendra Singh Dhoni to watch them play Australia in the Twenty20 and she herself admits it's been a long time since she's been to a cricket match. Though she won't admit that Dhoni invited her and says we must ask him ourselves:

"Well I think you should ask him about that. I went to watch the match like any other spectator did. I am a cricket fan and I am a sports fan and I was there to support the entire team,"

Yeah right, we know which greasy dude brought you there.

I reported before that Salman Khan had refused a statue of him at Madame Tussauds. Now he has backtracked and once the museum people promised to make him with a full head of hair, he's said yes.

"First I thought it was a joke," "I didn't know how important it was [to my fans]...The fans voted and that is the reason why I am doing it."

That's sweet Salman, we all know how much you care about your fans. His dad even encouraged him to get his statue made and when asked if he would like it to be shirtless (a joke, obviously), Salman says:

"If it is going to be shirtless than I am going to put my face on Shah Rukh's body."

Or your face on a bottle of steroids. Same difference.

Hah, I know that headline was misleading but someone explain to me how he all of a sudden managed to get the six-pack like that and is starting to disturbingly resemble Michael Jackson? I'm sure steroids mess up your face. Anyways, the real story is that all fans who were waiting to see Shah Rukh Khan in a sci-fi thriller can forget it, because Shah Rukh has pulled the plug on Robot. This was the movie he was insisting would have totally brilliant special effects, right? Shah Rukh shelved the film because he didn't have the same vision as director Shankar.

"We were not happy with few things, among them being the fact that his take on the film was completely different from mine… It was amicably done and there is no bad blood,"

But let's just act like he couldn't the special effects right. That's more funny. Aww, though I wanted to see Shah Rukh in a robocop-esque suit. Now I just have to be content with seeing him without a shirt (yuck). Though I think the songs of Om Shanti Om are starting to grow on me...that's what happens when you listen to them enough to be brainwashed.

I wonder why that could be? Could it be because of the fact that you have no privacy, the food sucks or the thought that you'll have to deal with it for the next 6 years? It's no wonder that Sanjay Dutt is going into depression. I know about these things, since I'm studying psychology. When you cry and cry, that's depression. When you smile and laugh and love the world, it's either drugs, a sugar high or love. When you eat face cream...yeah, that's not normal. Get some help. So anyways, Sanjay did not enjoy his first day back at jail. He was nervous the whole day, couldn't sleep and refused breakfast. hey, that sounds like my first day at school. Except, you know, they let me out eventually. Though Sanjay's lawyers are optimistic and think that Sanjay can and will be granted bail soon.

"Sanjay should have no problem obtaining a bail in the Supreme Court because of three reasons, namely his not been convicted under the Terrorists and Disruptive Activities (Prevention) Act (TADA) act, secondly his being on bail for more that 10 years and thirdly his good conduct when on bail."

But until Sanjay gets out, he can start concentrating on carpentry again. He reportedly liked attacking pieces of wood with a knife before. Disturbing what it could mean, if you're Freudian...excpet I'm not, so Sanjay is just doing carpentry.

Though I'm not exactly sure why. It has nothing to do with him locking his brother up. He supposedly disrespected the national flag and so, there's an arrest warrant out for him, without the option of bail. The official story is:

Khan inaugurated a car show room in Indore on August 16 last year. A complaint filed by one Shailendra Sharma alleges that while Aamir was at the show room the Indian Tricolor remained hoisted even though it was past sun set and showroom employees eventually pulled the flags down in a derogatory manner. Both the lapses are a violation of Section 2 of the Prevention of Insult to the National Honour Act of 1971.

Wow, so Indians are serious about not dissing their flag. And why can't the flag stay up after sunset? Indian readers, please explain. And a derogatory manner? Unless they were swearing the flag when pulling it down and stamping on it before it was put away, what classifies as derogatory? Aah, the drama.

My posts are going to be a bit rushed today, I'm so behind with things. Ok, Hrithik Roshan is going to be a father again, How do we know? Well, his father Rakesh spilled the beans and obviously, the new baby will be here next year. Suzanne Roshan should take it easy though, she already has a 2-year old and with a new one on the way, she better calm down on the feverish urges to redecorate Rani's house.

“Yes one more Roshan is arriving. We just got to hear the news and are thrilled. It doesn’t matter if we have a grandson or a granddaughter Anything is welcome as long as the baby is healthy and fine.”

You know, I haven't even seen Hrehaan Roshan yet. This is what happens when you don't whore out your family to OK magazine!

C'mon Sanjay fans, I hope you are all weeping into your keyboards. Yes, I'm cruel. I laugh at old men who'll be spending the next 6 years in jail. But this is a learning experience...Sanjay learned not to deal with arms anymore. A harsh lesson, but hey, Kudos to the Indian government for actually punishing him for breaking the law, because all other stars usually get away with it. Sanjay Dutt has been avoiding jail for a while, because he hasn't seen the copy of the judgement against him, just a little technicality that has kept him out of jail since August, but now that he's seen it, he's probably going back to jail today. That really is sad, but couldn't he just squeeze his eyes shut and refuse to look? Oh well, poor guy, he'll get a lot of time to read that judgement (4340 pages) in jail. Why would anyone write such a long judgement? That's more than all the Harry Potter books combined! Oh well, be good Sanjay and maybe they'll let you out soon.